Hlalakar's definitions

Anole

A small color changing lizard who bottoms for the Geico Gecko.

I saw Anole getting plowed in the cloaca by that insurance reptile.

by Hlalakar August 19, 2020

Enumclaw

A town in Washington which is the perfect place to get fucked to death by a horse.

I decided to make my suicide as unusual as possible, so I'm sneaking into some stables in Enumclaw.

by Hlalakar June 28, 2020

Arctite

A rare colorless transparent mineral with the chemical formula of Na2Ca4(PO4)3F and found only in the Kola peninsula of Russia. Commonly mistaken for a fire type pokemon.

I was really lucky to find such an inexpensive arctite specimen.

by Hlalakar June 27, 2020

Ellipses

...

When writing I indicate a long pause in dialogue with ellipses.

by Hlalakar June 27, 2020

thorite

a rare and radioactive nesosilicate of thorium with the chemical formula of (Th,U)SiO4. It is formed when Thor takes a shit.

My geology professor won't admit that thorite comes from an Asgardian's asshole.

by Hlalakar June 27, 2020

Tourmaline

A magical class of complex borosilicates that can't wait to straighten your hair, gauge your pressure, adorn your bling, or fuck you up the ass.

The electrical properties of tourmaline make it great for pressure guages, and it feels great crammed into my balloon knot.

by Hlalakar June 24, 2020

autunite

A form of autistic mica composed of hydrated calcium uranyl phosphate.

I have to avoid sarcasm around my autunite specimens because they just don't get it.

by Hlalakar June 24, 2020