Definitions by Hifalutin!
Noomesque
Seymour came up behind Enid as she stood in front of the mirror and admired her diminished waistline. “Noomesque,” he said with gusto.
“Let’s go to bed,” she assented.
On the phone to Justine in Paris, Polly asked how measuring out her cassoulet was affecting her weight. “Le poids,” you mean,” snickered Justine. “Still positively Noomesque.”
“Panda, you’re the last person I’d think would do Noom,” says JoJo.
“I know,” says The Good One, grimacing, “but intermittent fasting suits my budget, and I will be Noomesque until pops venmo's mama a quid or two.”
“Let’s go to bed,” she assented.
On the phone to Justine in Paris, Polly asked how measuring out her cassoulet was affecting her weight. “Le poids,” you mean,” snickered Justine. “Still positively Noomesque.”
“Panda, you’re the last person I’d think would do Noom,” says JoJo.
“I know,” says The Good One, grimacing, “but intermittent fasting suits my budget, and I will be Noomesque until pops venmo's mama a quid or two.”
Noomesque by Hifalutin! February 8, 2022
Crotchspin
“Wow,” Panda says, glued to the ice dancing in Beijing. “Digging the crotchspin.”
“Ahh, Good One,” sneers mama, who loves to abuse Panda’s street name. “The closest you came to a skate was Sugar Pond Warming Hut in 1990.”
Right, daydreams Panda. That bitchin’ Brian Maleski, he knew his way around a crotchspin. The ice was hard too.
“Ahh, Good One,” sneers mama, who loves to abuse Panda’s street name. “The closest you came to a skate was Sugar Pond Warming Hut in 1990.”
Right, daydreams Panda. That bitchin’ Brian Maleski, he knew his way around a crotchspin. The ice was hard too.
Crotchspin by Hifalutin! February 7, 2022
Torture bed
By the time Willow decided to attend her stepmother’s remarriage to Joe-the-Plumber, all the motels in Provincetown had been booked, so she spent the pre-nuptials night on a frenemy’s pullout torture bed and ruined her party back.
“Silas,” says Gal, “I seriously want to stay the weekend and help curate your 3,000-piece Educa Amsterdam puzzle, but the prospect of winding up gagging in your torture bed makes me honestly say I must beg off.”
“I know it’s not the torture bed but the Axe,” says Silas. “It’s always been the Axe.”
“Silas,” says Gal, “I seriously want to stay the weekend and help curate your 3,000-piece Educa Amsterdam puzzle, but the prospect of winding up gagging in your torture bed makes me honestly say I must beg off.”
“I know it’s not the torture bed but the Axe,” says Silas. “It’s always been the Axe.”
Torture bed by Hifalutin! February 7, 2022
AA Ventertainment
“You should have seen it,” Belinda tells Jack when he picks her up at Sky Harbor. “This douche bag couldn't load Frida and threw a tantrum, ripping off his mask, throwing his phone and storming against the flight attendant.”
“That’s AA Ventertainment!” says Jack blithely. “It’s not the first time and it won’t be the last. Oh,” he adds. “Were there casualties?”
“That’s AA Ventertainment!” says Jack blithely. “It’s not the first time and it won’t be the last. Oh,” he adds. “Were there casualties?”
AA Ventertainment by Hifalutin! February 6, 2022
Cuppacetic
“Everything is absolutely cuppacetic,” swoons Cubby to au pair Natasha from the second Starbucks on the block, his IPhone engrimed with chocochip-scone crumbs. “I’m dead wired on triple green molto frappes. Be home in a few, put Jacob to bed—ta-ta!”
“Cuppacetic!” said Rune, his mania aflame. “I love this place!”
“Get your hand out of my sweater and quaff your quad, you dirty hound,” was the only retort that came to Mamie’s mind.
“Cuppacetic!” said Rune, his mania aflame. “I love this place!”
“Get your hand out of my sweater and quaff your quad, you dirty hound,” was the only retort that came to Mamie’s mind.
Cuppacetic by Hifalutin! February 6, 2022
Spindrone
“I actually prefer the spindrone,” Nur confessed to Azalea, wiping the sweat from their brow then sanitizing their glutes. “I have less to answer for when I can’t manage the tap back.”
“Right,” said Azalea, who wasn’t sure she agreed. “And the spindrone doesn’t mind if you switch off Find U Again for Bennie and the Jets?”
“Mr. Garcia,” pipes in the peon from the Club’s front desk. “There’s a new spindrone here to see you about the MWF noon slot. I offered it water but it said hydration would be unnecessary.
“Good!” chortles the club manager, unknotting the noose he had only just constructed for himself out of locker room towels, “Finally an instructor who’s not a drama queen.”
“Right,” said Azalea, who wasn’t sure she agreed. “And the spindrone doesn’t mind if you switch off Find U Again for Bennie and the Jets?”
“Mr. Garcia,” pipes in the peon from the Club’s front desk. “There’s a new spindrone here to see you about the MWF noon slot. I offered it water but it said hydration would be unnecessary.
“Good!” chortles the club manager, unknotting the noose he had only just constructed for himself out of locker room towels, “Finally an instructor who’s not a drama queen.”
Spindrone by Hifalutin! February 6, 2022
Sheeeit, forgot my mask!
Jumped out of the Town Car and tripped onto the red carpet, bulbs flashing, "Leo! Leo!"--sheeeit, forgot my mask! I'll look like a tool in Star. Third time today. All that primo Jack Herer weed doesn't help.
"We need snow bomb provisions," Tron nagged me. But I had to drive home without the requested t.p., soy milk, Heineken Zero or Gerber peas, and got seriously spanked. Sheeeit, forgot my mask! Again!
"We need snow bomb provisions," Tron nagged me. But I had to drive home without the requested t.p., soy milk, Heineken Zero or Gerber peas, and got seriously spanked. Sheeeit, forgot my mask! Again!
Sheeeit, forgot my mask! by Hifalutin! February 6, 2022