Hazletard-in-Chief's definitions
1) noun: A mentally impaired person from Hazleton, Pennsylvania; 2) verb: to render something or somebody useless; 3) verb: to act mentally impaired while in the city limits of Hazleton, PA
A hazletard (definition 1) stole my quad, barrelled up City Hall's steps and hazletarded (def. 2 past-tense) the fucking bitch. The cops found him hazletarding (def. 3 past participle) down the block, from meth. I got to leave this fucking town!
by Hazletard-in-Chief October 11, 2010
Get the hazletard mug.1. a confectionery mixture made of: one part low grade Mozzarella cheese, one part American cheese and three parts hydrogenated vegetable oil. Found on cheap pizza and other Italian influenced American foods. 2. semen
Maria: I almost choked to death on some scamotz, last night.
Jennifer: The cheap Italian stuff, or the testicle gravy?
Maria: Both, actually.
Jennifer: The cheap Italian stuff, or the testicle gravy?
Maria: Both, actually.
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 11, 2010
Get the scamotz mug.Using cheaper and more abundant illegal immigrant toddlers, in place of gerbils, to gerbil slam. Very popular with Hazleton's gay community.
THE FIRST HAZLETON SWITCHEROO
HAZLETON, PA CIRCA 1993
Jack Palance: Oh sweet Jesus that gerbil, sure is feisty. What breed is it?
Silly Sammy: It's a Dominican short hair. The Bishop is getting them shipped to Hazleton, PA by the hundreds.
Jack Palance: Damn, I cummed already. Pull that fucker out before he suffocates. He's a keeper.
Silly Sammy: I was thinking of going into the local television news business, want to produce it?
Jack Palance: Uhhh... got to go. I'm shooting City Slickers 2. B-bye!
HAZLETON, PA CIRCA 1993
Jack Palance: Oh sweet Jesus that gerbil, sure is feisty. What breed is it?
Silly Sammy: It's a Dominican short hair. The Bishop is getting them shipped to Hazleton, PA by the hundreds.
Jack Palance: Damn, I cummed already. Pull that fucker out before he suffocates. He's a keeper.
Silly Sammy: I was thinking of going into the local television news business, want to produce it?
Jack Palance: Uhhh... got to go. I'm shooting City Slickers 2. B-bye!
by Hazletard-in-Chief October 31, 2011
Get the Hazleton Switcheroo mug.Any person(s) that urinate(s), defecate(s) and/or fornicate(s) on the Stone Couch near Hazleton, PA 18201. Most usually brag about it, without shame.
PA State Trooper 1: Let's stake out the Stone Couch for some Stone Couchers. It's time they go to jail for their immoral behavior.
PA State Trooper 2: The heck with that. Let us shit, piss and fuck on the couch.
PA State Trooper 1: Ooh you're a notty Trooper, ready to stab my pooper.
(Freaky gay law enforcement loving ensues. A box of Dunkin Donuts is involved, as well.)
PA State Trooper 2: The heck with that. Let us shit, piss and fuck on the couch.
PA State Trooper 1: Ooh you're a notty Trooper, ready to stab my pooper.
(Freaky gay law enforcement loving ensues. A box of Dunkin Donuts is involved, as well.)
by Hazletard-in-Chief November 13, 2011
Get the Stone Coucher mug.The primary mode of transportation in Hazleton, PA, seen outside of every home: A stolen shopping cart!
hazletard 1: Got any WD-40, my ride needs a tune up.
hazletard 2: Ditch that bitch. I got this fly Hazletonmobile, from GIANT Food. No I can go Hazleton drifting, this afternoon.
hazletard 2: Ditch that bitch. I got this fly Hazletonmobile, from GIANT Food. No I can go Hazleton drifting, this afternoon.
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 11, 2010
Get the Hazletonmobile mug.A necrophilia and coprophilia based sex act, in which a hazletard removes a corpse's head, defecates in the esophagus, and has sex with the esophagus.
hazletard: Nothing like visting the morgue at Hazleton General Hospital, and pulling off a Hazleton Hot Pocket!
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 10, 2010
Get the Hazleton Hot Pocket mug.Spanish for New Dominican Republic. The Dominican nickname for Hazleton, Pennsylvania, due to it's evergrowing Dominican population.
white hazletard 1: I heard some spick, tell me to get my mullet out of his Nueva República Dominicana. Is that spanish for business?
white hazletard 2: Nope, that means move out of Hazleton, before you get your white ass mashed. I'm moving to Sugarloaf ASAP.
white hazletard 2: Nope, that means move out of Hazleton, before you get your white ass mashed. I'm moving to Sugarloaf ASAP.
by Hazletard-in-Chief November 27, 2010
Get the Nueva República Dominicana mug.