Nueva República Dominicana

Spanish for New Dominican Republic. The Dominican nickname for Hazleton, Pennsylvania, due to it's evergrowing Dominican population.
white hazletard 1: I heard some spick, tell me to get my mullet out of his Nueva República Dominicana. Is that spanish for business?

white hazletard 2: Nope, that means move out of Hazleton, before you get your white ass mashed. I'm moving to Sugarloaf ASAP.
by Hazletard-in-Chief November 25, 2010
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Failzeton

The newest nickname for Hazleton, Pennsylvania. Based on the facts: a) Hazleton misspelled it's own name; b) all attempts to salvage this city always fail; c) Hazleton, PA = epic fail.
Another pimp killed another ho, instead of pimping that bitch for mad money. Welcome to Failzeton, biatch!
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 24, 2010
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hazletard

1) noun: A mentally impaired person from Hazleton, Pennsylvania; 2) verb: to render something or somebody useless; 3) verb: to act mentally impaired while in the city limits of Hazleton, PA
A hazletard (definition 1) stole my quad, barrelled up City Hall's steps and hazletarded (def. 2 past-tense) the fucking bitch. The cops found him hazletarding (def. 3 past participle) down the block, from meth. I got to leave this fucking town!
by Hazletard-in-Chief October 09, 2010
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Hazletonian Glory Hole

A form of exhibitionism, in which a white female tween pushes her naked rear up to a chain link fence, while two Dominican males separately penetrate the women's anus and vagina, through the fence. Very common in Hazleton, Pennsylvania.
Perez: Check out that bitch with the iCarly backpack, signaling us into a Hazletonian Glory Hole.

Carlos: You get the asshole this time, I am sick of scraping shit out of my foreskin.
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 10, 2010
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Hazleton Switcheroo

Using cheaper and more abundant illegal immigrant toddlers, in place of gerbils, to gerbil slam. Very popular with Hazleton's gay community.
THE FIRST HAZLETON SWITCHEROO
HAZLETON, PA CIRCA 1993

Jack Palance: Oh sweet Jesus that gerbil, sure is feisty. What breed is it?

Silly Sammy: It's a Dominican short hair. The Bishop is getting them shipped to Hazleton, PA by the hundreds.

Jack Palance: Damn, I cummed already. Pull that fucker out before he suffocates. He's a keeper.

Silly Sammy: I was thinking of going into the local television news business, want to produce it?

Jack Palance: Uhhh... got to go. I'm shooting City Slickers 2. B-bye!
by Hazletard-in-Chief May 31, 2011
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Chinese swing

A swing with accessibility to the rider's genitalia/anus. Supposedly invented in the far east. It could be as simple as a hammock, or as complex as an injection molded custom fit unit upwards of $1500.
me: Let's go down to my sex dungeon, and try out my new Chinese swing. It has thermionic heating and cooling.

some chick: Damn you know how to fuck in luxury.

me: You're making me blush.
by Hazletard-in-Chief May 31, 2011
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Hazleton drifting

A form of racing, in which a shopping cart is forced into a over-steer. Popular in Hazleton, PA, because cars and gasoline aren't covered by food stamps.
hazletard: I won the Hazleton drifting competition in the Walmart parking lot.

me: Fucking sped.
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 10, 2010
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