Definitions by Harry Flashman

turtle 

A physical phenomenon caused by extremely cold weather in which the penis retracts into to abdominal cavity

I remember standing quarterdeck watch in Newport with the wind howling up Narragansett Bay, ass deep in snow...it made me go turtle.

turtle by harry flashman July 15, 2003

SLJO 

Military acronym for Shitty Little Jobs Officer.

Ensign Velloquette was SLJO and his duties included postal audit, narcotics inventory/control, wardroom mess caterer, welfare and recreation fund audit, cash count inventory for the disbursing officers petty cash fund, enlisted linen supply serial number accounting, galley bean count, stadimeter calibration committee chairman, audio/visual tape inventory, small arms ammunition audit, fuel and lube oil testing program review board, nuclear weapons shelf life review and disposal board, mercury, polychlorinatedbiphenels, and berylium oxide storage and disposal board. Ensign Velloquette felt overwhelmed and underconfident his first day aboard USS Flounder (DD-666)

SLJO by harry flashman July 15, 2003

all over it 

A variation of the phrase "on it", e.g., ...on it like a fly on shit, ...on it like white on rice.

The last time I made a math error the IRS was all over it like a duck on a junebug.

all over it by harry flashman July 14, 2003

religious truth 

What one perceives as God's word, which can be different things to people in a group but is known to be absolute fact to each individual.

When someone says they have religious truth remember this saying: "Follow him who seeks the truth; beware of him who has found it."

religious truth by harry flashman July 14, 2003

loaf 

A turd.(Esp. an elongated turd with a tapered end)

Excuse me please, I have to go pinch a loaf.

loaf by harry flashman July 14, 2003

Afrocentrist 

An ethnocentrist whose fixation happens to be things African.

An Afrocentrist excludes the significance of Albanian culture and its impact on Peruvian haiku much like the Sinocentrist does.

Afrocentrist by harry flashman July 14, 2003

aphid 

Small insects that can infest ornamental plant leaves, and their excretions can blacken the leaves and interfere with photosynthesis and degrade the health of the plant.

Those friggin' aphids were sucking the vital essence from my Hollicae Burfordii so I Malathioned the bejesus out of the little buggers.

aphid by harry flashman July 14, 2003