H.T.J's definitions

Gamer's Hand

Caused by over-gaming. The most common cause is hand-held consoles, the most prominent now being the awkwardly designed Nintendo DS. It causes the the hand to cramp up while attempting to play videogames.

"Now to play some 'Super Mario 64 DS' ...arrgghh... my hand! ..it won't move! AAAH LOOK AT ME! ...don't look at me... Loo~ook at meeee...

by H.T.J July 5, 2005

doorgasm

-From Chuck Lorre Vainty Card #130
The feeling of relief and pleasure when the person you had casual sex with finally goes home.

I feigned a bittersweet smile as she walked out of the bedroom, then was rocked by a powerful doorgasm the second I heard her car start.

by H.T.J April 7, 2005

gridlove

From Chuck Lorre Vanity Card #130
A delusional fantasy that occurs when you glance at the person in the car next to you in a traffic jam and are momentarily convinced that they are the answer to all your hopes and dreams.

Were her feelings real, or were they just gridlove? She didn't care. She just prayed that her lane would catch up to his lane.

by H.T.J April 7, 2005

homortified

From Chuck Lorre Vanity Card #130
The uncomfortable feeling straight men have when they're watching porn and are momentarily turned on by the wrong ass.

Bert was so homortified by the skin flick he was forced to use his imagination.

by H.T.J April 7, 2005

sitrep

Army-speak. Short for "Situation Report". Given by a high ranking officer that claims he/she wants to either fil a situation report or wants one filed by a subserviant officer.

Office: Private, what's your sitrep?
Private: I've been shot in the privates!

by H.T.J April 7, 2005

addadictomy

Used when a transexual woman opts to have the surgery and become a fully-fledge ifemminate man-beast. Pronounced (add-a-dick-to-me, for the fools who didn't get it right away)

Guy: Sam, what's wrong?
Sam: Well, i'm just getting over a sisterectumy and they rescheduled my addadictomy for tomorrow.
Guy: aaww, what a flaccid penis.

by H.T.J April 11, 2005

officiate

- To perform the duties and functions of an office or a position of authority.
- To serve as an officiant.
- Sports. To serve as a referee or umpire.

A man got sick because of a-fish-he-ate.

by H.T.J March 26, 2005