George Vespe's definitions

Hort

A humourous email, full of innuendo, that slips into your inbox at inopportune moments, making you laugh and giving you a snot bubble.

I was on the phone, trying to persuade my bank manager to extend my overdraft, when I received a Hort. The bastard didn't think I was taking my financial situation seriously.

by George Vespe May 7, 2008

Gay Farmer

Any person who has the name Gay Farmer. But also any of the many homosexuals who work in agriculture.

"Hi. My name is Gay Farmer, and I'm a Gay Farmer"

by George Vespe May 8, 2008

Frogotten

Something an amphibian or Frenchman did. Expressed in a past tense that Americans use, as they bastardise English grammar. Not to be confused with Froghadgot, which is a small fishing village in Iceland.

The Frogotten all excited, going on strike and burning sheep, and in his glee, he had forgotten to buy more Gauloises

by George Vespe May 8, 2008

shit symphony

When everyone and everything in your life conspires to orchestrate a situation that is really shit.

2005 was one long shit symphony.

by George Vespe May 9, 2008

Hurricane Jane

A woman who arrives in your life all hot and wet, and then leaves with your house and car.

I didn't realise she was a Hurricane Jane when I married her.

by George Vespe May 10, 2008

Whelk

A charming cad, who uses bullshit and innuendo creatively, with the intention of getting into a posh girl's panties.

With his ginger hair it was clear that Prince Harry was sired by the whelk James Hewitt.

by George Vespe May 10, 2008

Stoat reluctant

Heraldic device, symbolising unwillingness to engage in sexual acts.

"And we can see from the Stoat Reluctant in the coat of arms, that the second Earl was a cuckold" said the professor.

by George Vespe May 11, 2008