Definitions by George Vespe

V&A Museum

Personal achive of hard core pornography.

My father-in-law offered to mow the lawn, and before I could stop him, he'd found the V&A Museum in the garden shed.

V&A Museum by George Vespe May 7, 2008

Uber Alice

Specialist form of Tutonic Bukkake, filmed with a very obliging frau.

Helga is a dirty scrubber, and likes nothing better than to star in a bit of Uber Alice in the evenings.

Uber Alice by George Vespe May 7, 2008

Hort 

A humourous email, full of innuendo, that slips into your inbox at inopportune moments, making you laugh and giving you a snot bubble.

I was on the phone, trying to persuade my bank manager to extend my overdraft, when I received a Hort. The bastard didn't think I was taking my financial situation seriously.

Hort by George Vespe May 7, 2008

Dinner in the Danube Delta 

To perform oral sex on a very wet eastern European woman.

Svetlana invited me to dinner in the Danube Delta, and I had to breathe through my ears.

Dinner in the Danube Delta by George Vespe May 6, 2008

Lunch in Miami 

Blow job; to go a long way south and eat at the tip of Florida.

I woke up on Sunday morning with an erection, and I asked my companion if she fancied lunch in Miami.

Lunch in Miami by George Vespe May 6, 2008

Goat Herd

British aristocratic male. From their dream job, where they spend all day pulling on their nanny's tits.

Camilla's father was immensely proud she was marrying a goat herd with a title.

Goat Herd by George Vespe May 6, 2008

Squid Rampant 

A heraldic device symbolising sexual potency, an erect penis.

After several bottles of Spanish wine, the professor found that a squid rampant was a brave thing to aspire to.

Squid Rampant by George Vespe May 1, 2008