Definitions by George Vespe

Stoat reluctant 

Heraldic device, symbolising unwillingness to engage in sexual acts.

"And we can see from the Stoat Reluctant in the coat of arms, that the second Earl was a cuckold" said the professor.

Stoat reluctant by George Vespe May 11, 2008

Beaver pungent 

Heradic device, symbolising a lack of hygiene on the female line.

"And the beaver pungent informs us the the third Lady Whelkingham was a stranger to soap" explained the professor.

Beaver pungent by George Vespe May 11, 2008

Hurricane Jane 

A woman who arrives in your life all hot and wet, and then leaves with your house and car.

I didn't realise she was a Hurricane Jane when I married her.

Hurricane Jane by George Vespe May 10, 2008

Whelk

A charming cad, who uses bullshit and innuendo creatively, with the intention of getting into a posh girl's panties.

With his ginger hair it was clear that Prince Harry was sired by the whelk James Hewitt.

Whelk by George Vespe May 10, 2008

shit symphony 

When everyone and everything in your life conspires to orchestrate a situation that is really shit.

2005 was one long shit symphony.

shit symphony by George Vespe May 9, 2008

Gay Farmer 

Any person who has the name Gay Farmer. But also any of the many homosexuals who work in agriculture.

"Hi. My name is Gay Farmer, and I'm a Gay Farmer"

Gay Farmer by George Vespe May 8, 2008

Frogotten

Something an amphibian or Frenchman did. Expressed in a past tense that Americans use, as they bastardise English grammar. Not to be confused with Froghadgot, which is a small fishing village in Iceland.

The Frogotten all excited, going on strike and burning sheep, and in his glee, he had forgotten to buy more Gauloises

Frogotten by George Vespe May 8, 2008