69 definition by George McBob

South African word for sandwich.

It's probably derived from the Afrikaans pronunciation of 'sandwich'.

Vaginal Irrigation Packet.

This is in accordance with the principle that anyone who would call themselves a VIP, or insist on VIP treatment is inherently a douchebag.

That awkward moment that occurs when a group of guys and a girl are talking and the topic of conversation turns to girls and their pros and cons, male health issues or other topics best kept among men. Someone then realises that there is, in fact, a female present. An embarrased silence then follows. This is a Hermione Moment.

It is named after the many scenes in the Harry Potter series when Harry and Ron forget that their friend Hermione is actually a girl.

Zombicide is the art of... well, not killing, but destroying zombies.

Zombicide is an important life skill, because zombie infestations have become increasingly common in the last few decades, and all indications are that the zombie holocaust is coming soon, possibly within your lifetime. Since the disbanding of the Knights Templar, there is no dedicated zombicidal society to protect us, and an outbreak on the scale of the Carpathian outbreak of 1143 or the Abyssinian outbreak of 492 BC would become global.

In order to be prepared, we should all learn at least basic outdoor survival, sailing (since zombies can't swim or operate a boat) and horse riding skills (horses will be the only viable means of transport when civilisation collapses). Also, basic knowledge of zombie physiology is required, so one should learn about zombie strengths and weaknesses, unlife cycles, habitat and behaviour.

Essential supplies for successfully surviving the zombie apocalypse are: first aid kit, shotgun and at least 5000 rounds of ammo, a katana or machete, plenty of flammable liquids, body armour, especially a helmet to protect your braaaains, tinned, dried or other kinds of long-lasting high-protein food, and clean drinking water.

Commercial zombicide products are also available. The Zombivac vaccine contains enzymes and antibodies to protect against Solanum, Rage and 23 other common strains of the zombie virus. You should keep at least 5 years supply for your whole family in your first aid kit (NB: Zombivac only protects you from flesh bites. Having your braaaaains eaten will still result in infection.) Zom-b-Gone spray is effective in repelling zombies from your home, but will not stop them once they catch your scent. The Zombie Knife from Advanced Survival Tools is useful and portable, but not as good as destroying a zombie's braaaaaains as a katana or sledgehammer. Zombotox water purifying tablets will remove any infectious material from water supplies.

But the most important principle of zombicide is to always be prepared. They do exist, and one day they will come for you.

Someone from Cape Town.

McFreedom is the cheap, hollow imitation of liberation that America somehow feels entitled to push upon countries around the world.

The McFreedom process begins with threats and intimidation to the leader of the victim nation followed by increasingly random and impossible ultimatums. If they don't give in, the American military arrives with their tanks and bombs and starts demolishing the place, all the while handing out junk food and pamphlets to the civilians.

Soon, a new leader who's policy is by extreme coincidence exactly the same as the yank's is "elected by the free people". Within months, McDonalds chains have started to infest the countryside and foreign investors suddenly own all of the country's natural resources.

Anyone who doesn't wax lyrical about how much better things are now is labelled a terrorist and shot.

A drink common among the dodgier elements of the Cape Town population.

One makes a blue train by filtering methylated spirits through a loaf of bread in order to remove the bitter-tasting purple dye (In South Africa, the dye is mandatory in order to prevent it's use as a beverage). Since only the dye is removed, not the kerosene, methanol, isopropanol etc, it gets you smashed off your head, but may cause vomiting, headaches, seizures, blindness and/or death.

It is called blue train because the thoroughly dyed loaf resembles the Blue Train, an ultra-luxury overnight passenger train between Joburg and Cape Town.