Fasters's definitions

Coffining

Punishing someone who refuses to wear a mask by making them lie in an open coffin, or forcing them to dig graves for Covid-19 victims, if they refuse to pay a fine or to do community service, such as cleaning public toilets and acting as a scarecrow under the hot sun for hours.

Some couples, who aren’t scared of coffining, are deliberately not wearing a face mask, so that they’d have the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to get intimate inside a fake coffin.

by Fasters September 15, 2020

Covidagon

What a layperson would call a 19-sided polygon or 19-gon rather than an enneadecagon or enneakaidecagon.

A corona math question for geeks: “Show that the interior angle in a regular covidagon is 161¹/₁₉°.”

by Fasters September 17, 2020

Covid-🎲

When bookmakers worldwide are ever changing the odds that President Trump would be re-elected, based on the good and bad news about him and his morally bankrupt administration, which make the headlines every day.

Thanks to Covid-🎲, with billions of bucks changing hands, tens of millionaires (and thousands of zeronaires) are expected to emerge come November 3.

by Fasters September 18, 2020

Covid-🦑

When traces of the coronavirus has been found on the packaging of imported squid, which prompted the authorities to alert anyone who has bought it to get themselves tested.

Although there is no evidence of the virus being spread by food or packaging, however, authorities in China are taking no chances with Covid-🦑 when they encourage everyone who has bought or eaten imported squid to go for a Covid test.

by Fasters September 21, 2020

Covid-💩

When the number of toilet visits by millions of people on quarantine or lockdown surged exponentially, as many consumed more than what they needed, thus generating tonnes of extra shit.

Guesstimate how many tonnes of poo were produced during the April–June lockdowns due to Covid-💩 in most developed countries.

by Fasters October 25, 2020

Covid-♟

When chess became a game of choice among millions of people worldwide, when they were on quarantine or lockdown—when online chess also became a popular extra-curricular activity for thousands of home-jailed students and their teachers.

Guesstimate how many millions of people were spared mental or psychological breakdown thanks to Covid-♟ during the weeks-long Covid-19 lockdown.

by Fasters October 25, 2020

Covid-🎃

When millions of people around the world have mixed feelings about celebrating Halloween during the pandemic, because they are more scared of the coronavirus than ghosts and spirits.

Due to Covid-🎃, adults decided not to dress up in frightening masks and costumes this year out of respect for those who died of Covid-19.

by Fasters October 28, 2020