Failurebitch's definitions
A stupid woke cunt with a disgusting personality who should've never been famous in the first place.
by Failurebitch June 3, 2025
Get the Rachel Zeglermug. For companies, they want DEI because they think it makes them look good and "inclusive", but in reality they're choosing inexperienced/undereducated employees instead of people who actually know what the fuck they're doing. Choosing someone who knows what they're doing, whether they have unique personal traits or not can save a life. DEI put people in danger and led to skilled workers being either underemployed/unemployed/settling for customer service out of deperation.
In Phineas and Ferb, DEI means: Doofenshmirtz's Evil Incorporated, which has nothing to do with hiring standards, it's just a catchy name/jingle.
In Phineas and Ferb, DEI means: Doofenshmirtz's Evil Incorporated, which has nothing to do with hiring standards, it's just a catchy name/jingle.
by Failurebitch June 4, 2025
Get the DEImug. A guy named Danny who is known for drinking beer, cussing, being angry, and having tourettes syndrome. You can find him on YouTube.
Tourettes Guy: (affixing an outlet cover on to a wall) Aww yeah, the Macho Man's gonna eat your ass!!!
Tourettes Guy is so fucking hilarious!
Tourettes Guy is so fucking hilarious!
by Failurebitch July 12, 2023
Get the Tourettes Guymug. A crocodile that swallowed a clock, and makes a tick-tock sound. Captain Hook is afraid of said crocodile.
(tick tocking noise)
Captain Hook: Shit! It's Tick Tock Crocodile!
Smee: Alright Mr. Crocodile, get out of here. Go on, shoo!!
Crocodile: (Crawls back into the water with a disappointed look on his face and swims away)
Captain Hook: Shit! It's Tick Tock Crocodile!
Smee: Alright Mr. Crocodile, get out of here. Go on, shoo!!
Crocodile: (Crawls back into the water with a disappointed look on his face and swims away)
by Failurebitch June 23, 2023
Get the Tick Tock Crocodilemug. The shittiest day of the year for me. People say that I'm beautiful all the time but how can I be so beautiful and single at the same time? Do people just say that I'm pretty to make me feel better about myself? I've been single my whole life (elementary school relationships don't count). This is a day where single girls like me feel ugly for not having a boyfriend. It's a day of mourning my loneliness and the death of my cousin. I'm making it my tradition to go up to my room and cry on this day because of how horrible I feel.
Valentine's Day fucking sucks. My cousin died on that day in 2016 and many others in 2018. I'm making it a tradition to cry in my room alone every year that I'm single. Fuck Valentine's Day! Cupid is an inaccurate bastard! Cupid can suck my non-existent dick.
by Failurebitch February 1, 2019
Get the Valentine's Daymug. A rich girl who wears designer outfits and fucks all the boys on every sports team at the school, fucking a different one every night. She usually bullies girls like me because I'm pale and dress in black most of the time. She's minipulitive, spoiled, mean, rude, and a terrible excuse for a human being. She's generally the main cause for female suicide, drug abuse, or alcohol addiction at her school. I'm lucky nobody at my school is like this. She also spreads lies about people she doesn't like, wears TOO MUCH makeup, gets plastic surgery/ Botox done every week to keep herself looking like a living Barbie while the rest of the girls look real, and she'll also bleach her hair and go to the tanning salon.
Me: (minding my own business)
Bitch: OMG, look at her, total fashion failure!
Me: (wearing more clothes than her) Have you looked in the mirror lately, because you look like a Cheeto with hardly any clothes on.
Bitch: You're wearing all that because you're fat.
Me: I'll have you know that I'm actually very slim and can kick your fucking bitch ass into next week you whore!
Bitch: HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT! (slaps me)
Me: (stands up from sitting on the bench, punches her plastic surgened nose, breaking it, then kicks her chest, popping one of the breast implants)
Bitch: (attempts to punch me, tears streaming down her face, blood oozing from fake nose)
Me: (grabs fist, puts her in straight arm bar and breaks arm)
Bitch: ( screams in pain)
then the principle calls our parents, her parents file lawsuit, my parents praise me for self defense then proceed to win lawsuit.
Bitch: OMG, look at her, total fashion failure!
Me: (wearing more clothes than her) Have you looked in the mirror lately, because you look like a Cheeto with hardly any clothes on.
Bitch: You're wearing all that because you're fat.
Me: I'll have you know that I'm actually very slim and can kick your fucking bitch ass into next week you whore!
Bitch: HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT! (slaps me)
Me: (stands up from sitting on the bench, punches her plastic surgened nose, breaking it, then kicks her chest, popping one of the breast implants)
Bitch: (attempts to punch me, tears streaming down her face, blood oozing from fake nose)
Me: (grabs fist, puts her in straight arm bar and breaks arm)
Bitch: ( screams in pain)
then the principle calls our parents, her parents file lawsuit, my parents praise me for self defense then proceed to win lawsuit.
by Failurebitch May 30, 2018
Get the bitchmug. The FUNNIEST rapper to ever exist. He would shoot the shit with you while he smokes a joint and you sip on whatever alcoholic beverage you like if getting high isn't your thing.
If I met Afroman in real life, I'd give him a high five and direct him to the nearest weed dispensery. I don't smoke weed since I've never understood the hype behind drugs, but I'm sure Afroman would appreciate knowing where he can get some weed.
by Failurebitch June 4, 2025
Get the Afromanmug.