Eric Kazinsky's definitions

Spirespotter

Describes someone who holds a cock/spire upright. The reason the word spotter is used is because, just like in benchpressing, the holding/spotting is done by a third party representative. Spirespotting is most common before the spicy bologna is inserted into the vagina (or rectum, for you cumtheca spirespotters out there) during intercourse. In pornography, the most common case of this is when, during a male-female-female scene, girl #1 is about to get her peach cobbler rived, so girl #2 grips the hedgehog and guides it into girl #1's pudendal crawlway.

The coati Ben Coates was robbing a liquor store when he felt something from below the waist. He recognized it as a hand. He thought to himself, "What kind of person would give my johnson such a firm skyward grip? Oh yeah, a spirespotter."

by Eric Kazinsky January 27, 2007

Facebook Potential

Facebook Potential is the amount of potential attention and compliments a woman can get from Facebook. Many women are surprised at first by just how many men will cater to their every whim on Facebook. Once they realize just how pathetic and desperate most men are online, most women under age 35 are delighted to get compliments and likes from this army of beta orbiters every couple of days.

Guy 1: Why do you think women act like men are their sexual servants nowadays and don’t need to do anything in bed?
Guy 2: Even older women in their 40s started acting that way immediately after they realized their true Facebook Potential.

by Eric Kazinsky May 15, 2016

White Person Lottery

White Person Lottery (WPL) is a term used to describe the immense luck a (white) person has when they obtain a large amount of money or property that they never could have earned on their own. In most cases this is through inheritance, but it can also occur through marriage. The term has a very natural sound to it and is used regularly on reddit and other popular internet blogs to describe generally very ungrateful people who are depressed for no obvious reason despite being incredibly lucky to be where they are in life. The natural offshoots of this term are MPL (Mexican Person Lottery), APL (Asian Person Lottery) and BPL (Black Person Lottery).

Guy 1: Why do you think she behaves like that all the time?
Guy 2: Classic example of a White Person Lottery winner. People who have won it have a hard time imagining that others have not won it too.

Guy 1: I feel so lucky to be an American!
Guy 2: You would feel even luckier being a White Person Lottery winner from Iceland with free university and a warm, million dollar house to relax in.

by Eric Kazinsky February 2, 2015

Ding Dong Ditch

When you stick your thick cock into a woman's pussy and run away without cumming, as if to say gotcha! Alternatively, it can mean simply having sex with a woman once and disappearing into the mist. The least popular use of the term is when you cut a hole in the condom and blast away never to return.

Guy 1: Did you hear that girl's boyfriend got her a dick in a box for Christmas?
Guy 2: Ding Dong Ditch is what I'd give her.
Guy 1: Ding Dong Ditch the bitch.

by Eric Kazinsky May 15, 2016

Power Struggle Theory

Power Struggle Theory is the idea that a weakling is going to be most sensitive to a power struggle. This is akin to when a small dog barks wildly. This theory describes the behavior of young women who hunt for attention and enjoy keeping men at their fingertips. The vast majority of young women on sites such as Tinder and Facebook love to be in control of interactions with men and get off on the feeling of power they hold over them. Relinquishing such power is not in the interests of such a weakling, as then men would gain the upper hand in all areas. Such women usually have multiple “safe” beta males orbiting them. The woman gets a different type of stimulation and pleasure from each of the orbiters; also known as juggle play. A confident man does not need to engage in power struggles because he feels good about himself on his own. Most attractive young women realize the gig is up once the power struggle ends. They like to extend the struggle as long as possible to maintain their power and because of their fear a man will realize she brings less character to the table than he thought.

Guy 1: Why does she reply to only 30% of my messages? I thought women loved to get attention.
Guy 2: Not necessarily. Why do you think many women interpret your interest in them as weakness?
Guy: I don’t know. They don’t like muff munchers?
Guy 2: Power Struggle Theory in practice.

by Eric Kazinsky January 13, 2016

9-Able

A 9-Able man is a man capable of maintaining long-term relationships with 9/10 women in attractiveness. Top-tier women in their peak years (18-22) most often choose to settle down with 30-35 year old average guys who a) own property b) compliment her a lot and make her feel good c) clearly won't ever have any better option than her d) don't challenge her or make her feel bad and e) is much older than her. 9-10 level women are not very looks-oriented with men, and many of them have already "tasted" the most attractive men and want superior qualities so they usually settle for the beta described above. This is frustrating news for the "alpha males get all the pussy" crowd, but should actually be good news for them: there's no reason to fear these niggardly 30-something betas standing in the way of the hotties.

Guy 1: What’s up with that very average 32-year-old guy with the 9/10 smokin’ hot bwoad with the sweater yams bustin’ out of her cardigan?
Guy 2: Don’t sweat it. That beta is totally 9-Able!

Guy 1: Good point! Don’t forget that alpha males make up less than 5% of the male population, so such a cutey will almost always date betas if only due to the alpha scarcity.

by Eric Kazinsky October 19, 2015

Connection Theory

Connection Theory is the idea that attractive young insecure women insult high-level men to lower them to her level and mask their own fear. In most cases, it is the only thing such a woman can do to connect with an intelligent man, whether in a positive or negative way, bringing him to a realm they understand and are experienced in. Such an action is a declaration that a woman feels intellectually inferior to a man and is insecure that a man will find her personality to be completely lacking.

Guy: I thought you had original opinions and views so I wanted to meet you in person, and see if the conversation is so amusing face-to-face as well and maybe get to know you afterwards.
Girl: I'm not interested, that's my excuse. Haha. Get over yourself. It's not an equation to solve. There is no formula, I just know and feel it, when it comes. And it didn't come with you buddy. Sorry. It's time for you to move on. Really.
Guy: Thank you for this high-level display of extreme insecurity and Connection Theory!

by Eric Kazinsky September 20, 2015