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Eric Kazinsky's definitions

IBS

Short for intellectual belittling syndrome. The main symptom of this syndrome is using a hostile, unprovoked thought-terminating tactic to avoid a real issue at hand in a discussion. This syndrome (also known as IBS) causes usually hostile people to try to diminish others mentally in a variety of fallacious ways and describes a common self-refuting debating tactic. This usually involves discussing a topic and telling someone else (who is perfectly qualified to discuss the issue) they "won't understand it because it's too complicated." This occurs most frequently with respect to discussions about economics, politics, nutrition, and computer programming. Connected with this syndrome is having a chip on one's shoulder and a lack of understanding of the fact that the burden of proof lies on the speaker to justify extraordinary claims.

This term was supposedly invented by Jerry Seinfeld, explaining how his Jewish relatives would come over to his house when he was a kid and try to one-up him in every way possible. At the core of it, an IBS sufferer has deep-seated insecurity issues provoking and propelling their supposed superiority.
Guy 1: Why does Allan always message me out of the blue and criticize me? I don't get it. He opens any discussion as if I'm below him, won't understand what he's talking about, and am a total idiot. Guy 2: This is unfortunately the communication style of a low net worth IBS guy. My best advice is to avoid people like that as much as you can if you plan to keep your sanity. Some people can't imagine living without trying to overcompensate in every area of life.
by Eric Kazinsky May 30, 2014
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freak cock effect

When they see the big D and freak out. This is the effect caused by seeing a very large penis, which usually causes the viewer's jaw to drop. This is most often seen with women on webcams, but also happens often at college parties. Freak cock effect has been the main source of many men getting laid. The one downside of a freak cock is that it is difficult for extremely well-endowed men to maintain stable personal relationships and receive gratifying oral sex.
Benny: Jim just came in and tore the club up! He was trotting around asking girls if they wanted to catch a glimpse of his hot dog on a stick. How did he get them to fall for it? Steve: Well, my son, that's the power of the freak cock effect. Few women can truly handle its hypnotic effects.
by Eric Kazinsky May 30, 2014
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Facebook Potential

Facebook Potential is the amount of potential attention and compliments a woman can get from Facebook. Many women are surprised at first by just how many men will cater to their every whim on Facebook. Once they realize just how pathetic and desperate most men are online, most women under age 35 are delighted to get compliments and likes from this army of beta orbiters every couple of days.
Guy 1: Why do you think women act like men are their sexual servants nowadays and don’t need to do anything in bed?
Guy 2: Even older women in their 40s started acting that way immediately after they realized their true Facebook Potential.
by Eric Kazinsky May 15, 2016
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Spirespotter

Describes someone who holds a cock/spire upright. The reason the word spotter is used is because, just like in benchpressing, the holding/spotting is done by a third party representative. Spirespotting is most common before the spicy bologna is inserted into the vagina (or rectum, for you cumtheca spirespotters out there) during intercourse. In pornography, the most common case of this is when, during a male-female-female scene, girl #1 is about to get her peach cobbler rived, so girl #2 grips the hedgehog and guides it into girl #1's pudendal crawlway.
The coati Ben Coates was robbing a liquor store when he felt something from below the waist. He recognized it as a hand. He thought to himself, "What kind of person would give my johnson such a firm skyward grip? Oh yeah, a spirespotter."
by Eric Kazinsky January 27, 2007
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Connection Theory

Connection Theory is the idea that attractive young insecure women insult high-level men to lower them to her level and mask their own fear. In most cases, it is the only thing such a woman can do to connect with an intelligent man, whether in a positive or negative way, bringing him to a realm they understand and are experienced in. Such an action is a declaration that a woman feels intellectually inferior to a man and is insecure that a man will find her personality to be completely lacking.
Guy: I thought you had original opinions and views so I wanted to meet you in person, and see if the conversation is so amusing face-to-face as well and maybe get to know you afterwards.
Girl: I'm not interested, that's my excuse. Haha. Get over yourself. It's not an equation to solve. There is no formula, I just know and feel it, when it comes. And it didn't come with you buddy. Sorry. It's time for you to move on. Really.
Guy: Thank you for this high-level display of extreme insecurity and Connection Theory!
by Eric Kazinsky September 20, 2015
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burden of proof

Your responsibility to prove or provide evidence for a claim you have made, without being allowed to change the subject or avoid backing up the claim. The sister term to a burden of proof is a red herring (a logical fallacy tantamount to derailing). When someone has the burden of proof and doesn't want to back up their statements, they will usually either commit a blatant red herring and try to sidetrack the conversation or try to shift the burden of proof onto the other person. Since few people can clearly list their beliefs and evidence about global warming, economic models and policies, and cause-and-effect social claims ("legalizing marijuana will make everyone into a drug addict!"), this will remain a major problem for many years to come.
Guy 1: There is indisputable proof that God exists. Guy 2: May I see this proof? Guy 1: No. It is your job to prove that God does not exist. Guy 2: I do not have the burden of proof here. I claimed nothing.

Guy 1: Donald Sterling is a terrible person. He should lose all of his money, his job, and never be seen in the public eye again. Guy 2: Can you defend the claim that he's a terrible person? Guy 1: I know him well, on the basis of hearing a phone conversation of his. All people like him are the same. They are racists and they need to go down! Guy 2: Slow down there. You have a burden of proof to prove that 1) he's a terrible person. 2) you can judge someone enough based on a brief phone call to know they're a terrible person 3) all such people need to go down (whatever that means). Guy 1: I'm not going to discuss this! He's a racist and that's it! Guy 2: Please be a mature adult and respect that to continue this dispute, you must address your own burden of proof.
by Eric Kazinsky May 31, 2014
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Heat Check

A heat check is when you do something to check to see how hot you are. In basketball, this is done by taking a crazy shot to see if you are so hot, you can even make ridiculous shots. It is the most direct, non-subtle attempt to score with no strategy at all. In pursuing women, a heat check is a simple, direct statement made to a woman to see if she will be interested. A man is “just checking” to see if it works without needing more clever methods. The best heat checks involve minimal risk, because they are harmlessly “just checking” and not a full-blown attempt.
Guy 1: Why did you invite that girl to the bar with you so directly? Don’t you think it had zero chance of working?
Guy 2: Just a heat check. As long it doesn’t damage my chances at all with her in the future, it just checks to see if she might say yes to pure directness.
by Eric Kazinsky September 9, 2016
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