Eric Kazinsky's definitions

White Person Lottery

White Person Lottery (WPL) is a term used to describe the immense luck a (white) person has when they obtain a large amount of money or property that they never could have earned on their own. In most cases this is through inheritance, but it can also occur through marriage. The term has a very natural sound to it and is used regularly on reddit and other popular internet blogs to describe generally very ungrateful people who are depressed for no obvious reason despite being incredibly lucky to be where they are in life. The natural offshoots of this term are MPL (Mexican Person Lottery), APL (Asian Person Lottery) and BPL (Black Person Lottery).

Guy 1: Why do you think she behaves like that all the time?
Guy 2: Classic example of a White Person Lottery winner. People who have won it have a hard time imagining that others have not won it too.

Guy 1: I feel so lucky to be an American!
Guy 2: You would feel even luckier being a White Person Lottery winner from Iceland with free university and a warm, million dollar house to relax in.

by Eric Kazinsky February 2, 2015

Death Metal

Death metal is a subgenre of heavy metal generally involving low tuned guitars played with tremolo picking and many solos, double kick or blast beat drumming techniques, minor keys or atonality, and rapid time signature changes, chromatic chord progressions, and intricate song-writing. Death metal is the most underrated and underappreciated genre in music, with many of the most famous bands full of world class musicians that taught at the most prestigious music schools in the world. The best aspects of every genre of music (new wave of British heavy metal, classical musical, thrash metal, grindcore, black metal and jazz) can be found in death metal albums articulated in a more intelligent and enjoyable manner than in the aforementioned genres. Examples are Atheist's take on jazz, Arghoslent's NWOBHM riffs, Necrophagist's Beethoven-influenced riffs, and Appalling Spawn's grindcore elements. Death metal produces the most thought-provoking and intelligent lyrics of any genre as referenced below.

Guy 1: Why do you think death metal appeals almost exclusively to very intelligent people?
Guy 2: As illuminated in the documentary The Boy With the Incredible Brain, many very high IQ people think in terms of shapes and music that forms shapes. It is not hard to understand why the ebb and flow of death metal riffs appeal almost exclusively to very intelligent people who sense and recognize the shape and contours of the very intricate and highly educated music that is death metal.

Guy 1: What are some death metal songs which shed light not only on natural aspects of the human condition, but more generally on important societal problems directly connected to people's thinking?
Guy 2: Enthralled in Essence (Atheist), Slaughter of Innocence, Demise of the Clone (Suffocation), Mirrors of Reason (Monstrosity), Omnipresent Perception (Beyond Creation), Dethrone the Hypocrites (Anata), Closeminded Failure (Solstice), The Truth About Lies (Krabathor), Lack of Comprehension (Death), Scavenger of Human Sorrow (Death), The Sadistic Motives Behind Bereavement Letters (Arsis) and Shallow Disbelief (Experiment Fear) all have very intelligent messages meeting your requirements.

by Eric Kazinsky February 12, 2015

Connection Theory

Connection Theory is the idea that attractive young insecure women insult high-level men to lower them to her level and mask their own fear. In most cases, it is the only thing such a woman can do to connect with an intelligent man, whether in a positive or negative way, bringing him to a realm they understand and are experienced in. Such an action is a declaration that a woman feels intellectually inferior to a man and is insecure that a man will find her personality to be completely lacking.

Guy: I thought you had original opinions and views so I wanted to meet you in person, and see if the conversation is so amusing face-to-face as well and maybe get to know you afterwards.
Girl: I'm not interested, that's my excuse. Haha. Get over yourself. It's not an equation to solve. There is no formula, I just know and feel it, when it comes. And it didn't come with you buddy. Sorry. It's time for you to move on. Really.
Guy: Thank you for this high-level display of extreme insecurity and Connection Theory!

by Eric Kazinsky September 20, 2015

Law of Conservation of Mass

The Law of Conservation of Mass states that sluts will always change form into another form of slut. The slut content is conserved.

Guy 1: Everyone thinks Romana is a sweet little angel.

Guy 2: But I heard she likes to get her mouth girded by multiple men and dreams of gangbangs.
Guy 1: Wasn't she a monogamous good girl in the past into 'only' anal and bondage before?
Guy 2: Law of Conservation of Mass. Nothing to see here.

by Eric Kazinsky October 11, 2015

9-Able

A 9-Able man is a man capable of maintaining long-term relationships with 9/10 women in attractiveness. Top-tier women in their peak years (18-22) most often choose to settle down with 30-35 year old average guys who a) own property b) compliment her a lot and make her feel good c) clearly won't ever have any better option than her d) don't challenge her or make her feel bad and e) is much older than her. 9-10 level women are not very looks-oriented with men, and many of them have already "tasted" the most attractive men and want superior qualities so they usually settle for the beta described above. This is frustrating news for the "alpha males get all the pussy" crowd, but should actually be good news for them: there's no reason to fear these niggardly 30-something betas standing in the way of the hotties.

Guy 1: What’s up with that very average 32-year-old guy with the 9/10 smokin’ hot bwoad with the sweater yams bustin’ out of her cardigan?
Guy 2: Don’t sweat it. That beta is totally 9-Able!

Guy 1: Good point! Don’t forget that alpha males make up less than 5% of the male population, so such a cutey will almost always date betas if only due to the alpha scarcity.

by Eric Kazinsky October 19, 2015

Monsters Theory

Monsters Theory is the now-mainstream belief that very large breasts on young, lean women is the single most attractive look a woman can have, despite it having a relatively limited genetic basis (as studies of female siblings have shown) There is no established explanation for how women with 25-30% body fat and large breasts have their figures but luck seems to play the biggest role, since their looks and their breasts both are not an accurate reflection of their parents. The theory that attractive parents produce attractive children has become eroded due to monsters theory. Monsters theory states that genetics play some role, but far less than expected and otherwise ugly, fat parents with not particularly good genes can unleash bombshells on the world.

Example: Guy 1: Did you see that girl at the gym? Man, those were huge!
Guy 2: Monsters Theory in action. Let the monsters do the talkin.’
Guy 3: You scared bro?

by Eric Kazinsky November 3, 2015

Focus Theory

Focus Theory is the theory that the single most important aspect in an interaction with a woman is holding her focus (or attention). It is common for a man to assume a woman has no interest in him, although he still holds her attention, which gives him certain power and significantly more chances than most would think. The difference between power struggle theory and focus theory is that focus theory does not need either party to be weak: it simply requires the ability to capture a woman’s attention.

Guy 1: That girl from the mall told me a million times she's not interested in me.
Guy 2: Focus Theory pal - you've got her focus and attention. Just keep moving forward and don't listen to her. If she wants to keep going with you while your intent is clear, the path is golden.

by Eric Kazinsky November 9, 2015