by El Conquistador July 05, 2017
Get the star spangled stomamug. When you wait so long for your Uber that you shit your pants. There are two kinds of Uber shitters...those that will still get in the car with their shitty pants and that those that refuse to get in, out of respect for the upholstery.
After a big meal and several draft beers, Ryan and his crew needed an Uber to take them to the club. Their driver, Omar, was still 10 minutes away when Ryan started having terrible shit pains. Rather than risk missing the ride and disappointing his crew, he decided to hold it in till they got to the club....bad decision. With Omar but minutes away, Ryan dropped an Uber shit straight through his underwear and into his pants. The Uber pulled up to the curb and now it was crunch time. Ryan refused to get in the car, it was a matter principle. His crew jumped in and swore they would never tell anybody about the incident. Ryan stood alone on the sidewalk and called his mom to bring him pants and underwear.
by El Conquistador January 29, 2019
Get the uber shitmug. Wrecking your boyfriend’s shit socket with your unusually small hands after painting yourself orange and donning a cheap blonde wig.
Ryan wanted to do something special for Robbie’s birthday. They had already tried most other deviant sexual variations and were, quite frankly, bored with the normal pee pee touching and butt stuff. Ryan decided to combine two things that Robbie loves most...Trump and manual anal stimulation. Robbie was well experienced butt had never been Ass Trumped before. He screamed “best birthday ever!”
by El Conquistador December 19, 2019
Get the ass trumpedmug. by El Conquistador July 12, 2017
Get the Kansas City hot pocketmug. Having worked underground for many years, Chad was keenly aware of the need for sun light to live a healthy life. Chad tried spending more time outdoors and even shaved his head in an attempt to absorb more rays. Turns out the solution was right behind him the whole time. He decided to lay down in his front yard, completely naked, pull his knees back to his ears and aim his shit socket directly at the sun. Chad’s bung pulled in rays like a satellite dish. After only 30 seconds he had more energy than a fat kid chasing an ice cream truck. Chad’s discovery, the “solar rim job” if you will, could just be the free energy solution the world has been waiting for.
by El Conquistador July 02, 2023
Get the solar rim jobmug. When having sex with a chick and you are doing her from behind, right before you "finish", you take a flag with your name on it and stick it into her ass hole and as you finish you yell out "I'm the man on the moon!".
Guy1: "Last night I conquered new territory, I took that fine ass home and planted my flag!"
Guy2: "Dayam man! You pulled a man on the moon on her ass!"
Guy2: "Dayam man! You pulled a man on the moon on her ass!"
by El Conquistador November 08, 2004
Get the Man on the Moonmug. When your GF accidentally grabs a tube of Ben Gay instead of massage oil while giving a hand job, thus causing your purple dick helmet to burn intensely.
by El conquistador January 17, 2014
Get the fire helmetmug.