El Conquistador's definitions
by El Conquistador March 18, 2017
Get the Hawaiian milkshakemug. by El Conquistador July 15, 2017
Get the West Virginia flap jackmug. When having sex with a chick and you are doing her from behind, right before you "finish", you take a flag with your name on it and stick it into her ass hole and as you finish you yell out "I'm the man on the moon!".
Guy1: "Last night I conquered new territory, I took that fine ass home and planted my flag!"
Guy2: "Dayam man! You pulled a man on the moon on her ass!"
Guy2: "Dayam man! You pulled a man on the moon on her ass!"
by El Conquistador November 8, 2004
Get the Man on the Moonmug. Having worked underground for many years, Chad was keenly aware of the need for sun light to live a healthy life. Chad tried spending more time outdoors and even shaved his head in an attempt to absorb more rays. Turns out the solution was right behind him the whole time. He decided to lay down in his front yard, completely naked, pull his knees back to his ears and aim his shit socket directly at the sun. Chad’s bung pulled in rays like a satellite dish. After only 30 seconds he had more energy than a fat kid chasing an ice cream truck. Chad’s discovery, the “solar rim job” if you will, could just be the free energy solution the world has been waiting for.
by El Conquistador July 2, 2023
Get the solar rim jobmug. A super stealthy sex servant that can spank a swollen stiffy for a sticky semen surprise, whack a whiskered Willy wonderfully with one hand, just jerk a johnson so gingerly, five finger a fat fuck stick forever, bare hand a beefy BBC and beat a bulky boner black and blue.
Japanese folklore, written on the walls of the finest oriental massage parlors, tells of the legendary stroke ninja. Although known far and wide as the stroke ninja, the locals simply called her キャンディス. With cat like reflexes, nimble fingers and a grip like the deadly venus fly trap, many a man has succumb to her relentless grasp. The few that survived gather, on occasion, to reminisce about the best rub-n-tug of a lifetime.
by El Conquistador July 6, 2021
Get the stroke ninjamug. A German smear is made by dipping two fingers in shit, doesn’t matter whose it is, then giving yourself a Hitler mustache with it. Now grab your lover and plant a big sloppy kiss.
Ryan would do anything for Cody, so when Cody asked to try the German smear, Ryan pooped his right there. #truelove
by El Conquistador May 19, 2018
Get the German smearmug. When you wait so long for your Uber that you shit your pants. There are two kinds of Uber shitters...those that will still get in the car with their shitty pants and that those that refuse to get in, out of respect for the upholstery.
After a big meal and several draft beers, Ryan and his crew needed an Uber to take them to the club. Their driver, Omar, was still 10 minutes away when Ryan started having terrible shit pains. Rather than risk missing the ride and disappointing his crew, he decided to hold it in till they got to the club....bad decision. With Omar but minutes away, Ryan dropped an Uber shit straight through his underwear and into his pants. The Uber pulled up to the curb and now it was crunch time. Ryan refused to get in the car, it was a matter principle. His crew jumped in and swore they would never tell anybody about the incident. Ryan stood alone on the sidewalk and called his mom to bring him pants and underwear.
by El Conquistador January 29, 2019
Get the uber shitmug.