Total replacement therapy

When something is so badly damaged that the only option is to get a new one; it might be a critical component, or the whole thing.

"Can you fix it ?"

"No. Your hard drive is screwed. Total replacement therapy is indicated."

"Bugger !"

by eighth of seven February 06, 2010

B.E.R.

Abbreviation for "Beyond Economic Repair". Generally used to describe damage, usually crash damage to a vehicle (especially an airframe) which is so badly mangled that to fix it would cost more than replacement; the best option is to salvage any reuseable parts and junk the rest.

"How's your bike ?"
"Shit, both wheels buckled and the frame bent. It's B.E.R., I'm going to get a new one on the insurance."

by eighth of seven November 08, 2007

handle jammed forward

To push an aircraft's engines to emergency full power. May cause permanent engine damage if prolonged beyond a few minutes.

Used to denote someone who is going all-out.

"You busy ?"
"Yup, got the handle jammed forward"

by Eighth of Seven January 08, 2007

Scruttock's "Old Dirigible"

A fictional type of Real Ale, of allegedly lethal alcohol content and the tendency to produce a barin-crushing hangover the next day.

See also "Suicider"

"Christ, you look rough ! What have you been doing ?"

"Awwww..... the usual .... went out with the lads last night and had eleventeen pints of Scruttock's "Old Dirigible", then a curry..... got any aspirin ?"

by Eighth Of Seven February 18, 2009

Cancer crystals

White sugar; can be applied to salt, brown sugar, sweetener, but most usually to white sugar, on the basis that "everything" - sugar, sweetener, coffee, red meat, water, oxygen and light will cause cancer (eventually).

Taking all available information into account, the only way to avoid dying of cancer is to forswear all food and drink, and shut yourself in an airtight lead box. You won't die of cancer. You will still die, and quite quickly, but it won't be of cancer.

"Coffee's done. Milk and sugar ?"

"No milk, but gimme two spoons of cancer crystals".

by eighth of seven February 06, 2010

Suicider

Very, very strong rough cider, sometimes as much as 10% alcohol by volume - 8% is not uncommon. Can range in taste from innocuously fruity and bland to eye-wateringly sharp.

"What do you want ?"

"I'll have a pint of Bideford Brainblaster".

"Are you mad ? That stuff's suicider !"

by Eighth Of Seven February 18, 2009

Big Red Reset Switch

The main power switch, often on computer equipment but applicable to any piece of equipment. Used to stop the system when all other control inputs have failed, often because of a system crash or lockup.

Tech 1: "Buggeration, we have the Blue Screen Of Death yet again !"

Tech 2: "Shit. Give me a sec, I shall apply my digital extremity to the Big Red Reset Switch"

<Click>

<Click>

Tech 1: "Ok, it's rebooting now".

by eighth of seven February 06, 2010