Definitions by Eaton Holgoode

Grandma's Peaches

Small, round breasts of an elderly female. Like overly ripe peaches, they are soft and the skin is shriveled and wrinkled.

Roger always enjoyed granny porn. He couldn't get enough of Grandma's Peaches.

Grandma's Peaches by Eaton Holgoode March 5, 2015

Watermelon Squeeze 

Sheer hell that is constipation. The effort to pass a turd that is so difficult it's akin to anal birthing a ten pound watermelon.

Stan had to shit so bad but soon after coping a squat he soon found himself in a Watermelon Squeeze.

Watermelon Squeeze by Eaton Holgoode March 5, 2015

Muddy Picnic 

A muddy picnic is same as a Wet Picnic except that the sexual activity involves anal sex and the post coital clean up involves wiping up with the picnic blanket.

Frank and Carol went to the nature trail where their plans for a quick wet picnic turned into a Muddy Picnic. The fried chicken and potato salad ended up going to waste.

Muddy Picnic by Eaton Holgoode March 3, 2015

Dirt Derby 

The perfect evening marked by hours of extended and enjoyable anal sex.

John: Hey brohhh! How was your date with Tonya.
Roger: It was great yo! She's wild. We had a Dirt Derby.
John: Lucky you. All I got this weekend was a Winter Granny Handy.

Dirt Derby by Eaton Holgoode March 2, 2015

Sponge Mouth 

The oral cavity of a male or female with no teeth. Like a sponge, it's soft, warm and wet.

Carl picked up the local toothless prostitute for a quick Hummer. For $5.00, its the best Sponge Mouth money can buy.

Sponge Mouth by Eaton Holgoode March 2, 2015

Dropping an Eggplant 

The act of defecating an eggplant shaped turd. Such turds are semi-soft, but very thick and bulbous at one end and slim and tapered at the other appearing just like an eggplant. The Eggplant turd requires tremendous, initial force to push the bulbous, girthy end out but is followed by a relatively smooth evacuation of the more tapered end. Eggplant turds are most common in weekend drinkers suffering from dehydration and poor fiber intake.

After a long weekend of binge drinking, Carl woke up on Monday morning suffering from the worst stomach ache. He went to evacuate his bowels and found himself Dropping an Eggplant. After several minutes of intense puckering and release actions of his sphincter, he finally achieved release.

Dropping an Eggplant by Eaton Holgoode March 2, 2015

Grampy's Work Out 

Found in most gyms in Florida. A Grampy's Work Out consists of two sets of 10 on any machine followed by sitting and drinking coffee with other over 60's. Highly effective and life altering.

Visit any Florida gym for work out tips. Especially Grampy's Work Out.

Grampy's Work Out by Eaton Holgoode February 28, 2015