Definitions by Eaton Holgoode
Blood Knot
The forceful expulsion of an impacted turd that forces immediate bleeding from the creation of a fissure or from irritation to severe case of trucker's knuckles.
Dan was constipated for a week. Although he took laxatives, only brut force finally cleared the impacted feces when he blew out a Blood Knot.
Blood Knot by Eaton Holgoode March 15, 2015
Lava Blossom
A swollen anal sphincter aka rosebud from multiple rounds of acidic, explosive, burning diarreah. Usually occurs after excessive partying.
Stan: Hey Roger. How was your spring break in Florida?
Roger: It was awesome brahhhh. Partied all day and night. I was hung over and puking and shitting all day. I shit so much I wound up with a Lava Blossom.
Stan: Let me see it (Roger drops trou and bends over).
Stan: OMG brohhhhh. Is that a Lava Blossom or ground hamburger? You better put some salve on that thing.
Roger: It was awesome brahhhh. Partied all day and night. I was hung over and puking and shitting all day. I shit so much I wound up with a Lava Blossom.
Stan: Let me see it (Roger drops trou and bends over).
Stan: OMG brohhhhh. Is that a Lava Blossom or ground hamburger? You better put some salve on that thing.
Lava Blossom by Eaton Holgoode March 14, 2015
Monster Jam
Monster Jam is motorsport event tour through the United States. Although events may vary, the general attraction is the racing and freestyle competitions by monster trucks hence the name, Monster Jam. Similar to Nascar, Monster Jam is very popular among rednecks and pre-pubescent boys.
Bobby Joe' s girl may think his beat up old Chevy and fisherman's tan sure are sexy and listening to Florida Georgia line is just the coolest, but they ain't nothing gets her hotter than an authentic redneck party like the Monster Jam.
Monster Jam by Eaton Holgoode March 13, 2015
Dandy Boy
A homosexual or bisexual male. A Dandy Boy can be completely out, partially out, closeted or in complete denial.
Stan: Hey Joe. Have you met the new neighbor yet?
Joe: No what's his story?
Stan: I can sum it up for you. Dandy Boy.
Joe: Sweet. This hood can use a good sausage party.
Joe: No what's his story?
Stan: I can sum it up for you. Dandy Boy.
Joe: Sweet. This hood can use a good sausage party.
Dandy Boy by Eaton Holgoode March 13, 2015
Vaselize
To thoroughly lubricate one's privates or nether regions for masturbation or other sexual activity. Derived from the petroleum jelly product Vaseline.
Carl's girlfriend was thoroughly enjoying his delivery of oral foreplay but she stopped him to allow him to Vaselize himself for some highly anticpated anal plundering.
Vaselize by Eaton Holgoode March 13, 2015
Dandy Dangler
That otherwise dandy boy that enjoys walking around a men's locker room completely disrobed after showering. The Dandy Dangler type enjoy shaving, blow drying their hair and even introducing themselves and conducting conversations with others while completely naked.
Jeff: Back in a minute Broohhhh! Gotta run to the locker room and take a piss.
John: Ok Brahhhh! Watch out for that Ron guy that comes here. I saw him go in the locker room about 10 minutes ago.
Jeff: Great. That dude's a Dandy Dangler. He was chatting me up good the other day and I got no time for a sausage party in there.
John: Ok Brahhhh! Watch out for that Ron guy that comes here. I saw him go in the locker room about 10 minutes ago.
Jeff: Great. That dude's a Dandy Dangler. He was chatting me up good the other day and I got no time for a sausage party in there.
Dandy Dangler by Eaton Holgoode March 13, 2015
Monster Moist
The complete state of panty wetness induced when a redneck boy takes his redneck girl to a monster truck show at Monster Jam. May also induce wetness for any MILF attending a Monster Jam event that is there with their pre-pubescent boys and they are into trucks.
Kleatus took Sarah to Monster Jam last night. She was squirming in her seat the whole time and was so horned up over them big trucks she done went and got all Monster Moist.
Monster Moist by Eaton Holgoode March 13, 2015