Eaton Holgoode's definitions

Porcelain Drips

Taking a shit but only burning drops of liquid feces are expelled. They sting the sphincter so bad that you grab the handicap bars, grimace with pain, clench your teeth and wish someone would shove an ice cube up your ass just to cool it down. If you didn't know better, you'd think hot lava was pouring from your bung.

Carl partied all night and then made a trip to Taco Hell. He suffered the next morning with the porcelain drips.

by Eaton Holgoode March 1, 2017

Onion Sak

A hot, sweaty, smelly scrotum. Smells of pickeled onions and ripe cheese.

My boyfriend’s onion sak fucking stinks.

I just worked out for an hour and now I got onion sak.

Whew I just scratched my ballz and my fingers smell of onion sak.

by Eaton Holgoode December 29, 2017

Border Batter

The condition whereby one experiences massive gastrointestinal explosions of gas and liqui-shit after consuming too much food from Taco Bell.

John made a run for the border with a late night Taco Bell visit. He paid the price the next day when the 4 bean burritos he ate came back out as Border Batter.

by Eaton Holgoode June 10, 2009

Date Gape

Is a continued feeling of orifice openness that occurs after having a date with a partner involving willing and consensual anal or vaginal sex. Date Gape is the desirable feeling that one's arse or vagina is still open, throbbing and gaping after having ass wrecking and vajayjay pounding sex leaving one wide open and filled with pleasure. Date Gape can last up to 24-48 hours post coital activity.

After a wonderful evening out with her blind date, Tonya invited Blair back to her apartment. After some friendly foreplay, they went to the bedroom and engaged in several hours of anal and vaginal sex. Blair later went home and left Tonya in a euphoric state with Date Gape.

by Eaton Holgoode January 30, 2015

Dry shit

Unable to shit despite sitting on the crapper for an extender period of time. Usually accompanied by anal contractions.

I have got to change my diet. These dry shits are killing my sphincter.

by Eaton Holgoode January 21, 2018

Puff Puss

A flabby, meaty pussy. Hallmarked by meaty beef curtains.

Love eating a puff puss. So wet!

by Eaton Holgoode April 12, 2017

Wet Firing

Rapidly expelled, short bursts, of wet sounding (and sometimes actually leaky wet) gas that typically occurs immediately upon sitting on the toilet and prior to a full, explosive bowel release.

I don’t know who was in that stall this morning but all I heard was a belt buckle, a pants drop and a whole series of wet firing.

I ate way to much chili during the playoff game. I spent half the night trotting to the shitter and wet firing round after round.

by Eaton Holgoode January 28, 2018