Eaton Holgoode's definitions

Farmer's Nail

Farmer's Nail is to have one or more dirty finger nails and the dirt appears to be typical garden variety "dirt" or potting soil under the nails. However, Farmer's Nail is not regular dirt or soil but is actually feces which is accumulated under one or more finger nails as a direct result of either intentional fingering of a dirty shit plugged anus during a sexual act or from having one or more fingers slip through the toilet paper while wiping one's ass and getting ass dirt or fecal matter under the nails. Having Farmer's Nail does not mean that one did not wash their hands after an anal fingering or after slippage during a wipe job, just that one did not clean the feces from under their nails at the time of the wash job as they may not have known it was present. In most, but not all instances of Farmer's Nail, it is not left under the nail intentionally and is simply an oversight during the clean up process.

Farmer's Nail is also known as Mechanic's Nail which is more frequently used in the automotive industry.

Carl: Hi Gary. What have you been up to? From the looks of those fingers I would say you have been working in the garden this morning?
Gary: No I have not been in the yard working today. (Looking at nails) Oh No Bro. I had the worst Louisiana Tail Drop earlier this morning and made an absolute mess. I was wiping my sharted ass with both hands and my fingers kept slipping through the wet shat paper. Guess it got under the nails.
Carl: That is some nasty shit brahh! You got the worst case of Farmer's Nail I have ever seen. Go get a toothpick or a nail file and dig that shit out. Nasty.

by Eaton Holgoode April 13, 2014

Jebutante

A jebutante (sounds like debutante) is a young woman of an aristocratic or upper-class family who has reached maturity to perform oral sex but will only take in the penile head aka Jeb End. Not yet ready to deep throat or swallow.

Chrissy is a jebutante.

Jake’s party had a lot of thots and a few jebutantes.

by Eaton Holgoode April 20, 2018

Bop the Mouse

Male masturbation or getting a hand job from a partner.

I like to watch porn and bop the mouse.

I needed to nut so asked Rachel if she would bop the mouse.

My uncle asked me if he could bop the mouse.

My stepmom likes to come to my room and bop the mouse.

I like to bop the mouse when I take a shit.

by Eaton Holgoode February 14, 2018

Red Eye Gravy

A colloquial expression for an onset case of explosive diarrhea.

Don't in that bathroom brooooh. That stool has red eye gravy all over. Someone spattered it up good.

by Eaton Holgoode February 28, 2017

Cornpopp

Anal sex performed vigorous fashion.

I’m gunna cornpopp Rachel this weekend.

She was a pretty dirty down there but I still have the cornpopp.

He gave me the cornpopp and my booty hole is torn up today.

by Eaton Holgoode November 5, 2018

Daddydar

The internal, male "radar" that enables the species to pick up on signs, hints and signals from the female species that indicate they have varying degrees of daddy kinks or daddy issues.

The hostess at the restaurant was setting of my daddydar last night. Sure enough her FB is posted with daddy kinks.

I could tell the babysitter has daddy issues. She set off the daddydar right away.

by Eaton Holgoode July 13, 2017

Wet Tuna Farts

A gastrointestinal condition that lasts approximately 3-4 hours after one consumes bad tuna sushi. Wet Tuna Farts are caused by eating seemingly great tasting spicy tuna roll but it turns out unknowingly to be tainted tuna. While not enough to cause food poisoning, it is enough to cause excessive bloating and gas discharge.

Frank went to the Sushi Bar for lunch and ordered two spicy tuna rolls. To taste, they were magnificent. Unfortunately, about an hour after lunch he realized that the tuna was tainted after he experienced a massive case of the Wet Tuna Farts. He had to leave work the rest of the day due to co-worker complaints about the smell.

by Eaton Holgoode June 19, 2009