Hand Crank

A reference to pleasurable male masturbation. Jacking off. Wanking one out. Fapping.
Where's Brian? Still in the bathroom? Yea I'm sure he's doing a hand crank.
by Eaton Holgoode April 07, 2017
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Slobber Jobbed

To receive a very sloppy, wet blow job. Typically involves spitting and excessive amounts of saliva.
Rachel slobber jobbed me last night. It was so wet and sloppy I nutted her throat in about two minutes.
by Eaton Holgoode April 11, 2017
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Eggs Danny Thomas with Ham

When the hooker you hired gives you an old fashioned Eggs Danny Thomas but enhances the experience by giving you a little pressed ham on that glass table top before taking your money and leaving you feeling empty and remorseful.
I can't believe that nasty hooker dropped me an Eggs Danny Thomas with Ham then took my $50. I never even got a nut. I am such a f***ing loser.
by Eaton Holgoode August 01, 2019
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Lubertarian

An individual that cannot masturbate without the application of generous amounts of lubricant.
I simply cannot dry rub myself. I’m a true lubertarian.

As a lubertarian, I have a plethora of lubricants in my nightstand.

Rachel gave me a vigorous handy and I’m so glad she respected the fact that I’m a lubertarian.
by Eaton Holgoode February 01, 2018
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Deep Vein Thrombonesis

Deep vein thrombonesis (throm-BONE-sis), or DVTBONE, is a condition that occurs when copious amounts of blood flows to and settles in the center of a males thick, rigid cock during intercourse or analcourse. The cock becomes overly engorged and swollen to the size of a tennis ball or softball. The blood thickens so much that the male becomes trapped inside the vagina or anus. Even after becoming non-erect or flaccid, Deep Vein Thrombonesis will remain and can take up to an hour or longer for the swelling to subside allowing for the penis to be withdrawn.

Although the condition can look painful, it is generally without pain and in some instances, can enhance the lovemaking.
After an unhealthly combination of viagra and other sex enhancing substances, Luther found himself suffering from Deep Vein Thrombonesis during intercourse with this girlfriend, Nadine. Luther was swollen up the size of a softball and couldn't withdraw for over an hour.
by Eaton Holgoode March 13, 2014
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One Swipe Wipe

Only having to wipe one’s asshole once after an amazing silk dook.
I just took a perfect shit. No remnants. I did a one swipe wipe and I was on my way.
by Eaton Holgoode December 27, 2018
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Ginger Smack

After having sex with a hot ginger babe, you smack your flaccid penis back and forth against her cheeks till her milky white skin turns a lovely pinkish hue.
I was all up in her last night braaaahhh and then finished her off with a ginger smack. How were the cheeks? Pretty n pink braaaaaahh. Pretty n pink.
by Eaton Holgoode November 28, 2017
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