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Definitions by Eaton Holgoode

Alley Squat 

The act of defecting outside in a non-descript place such as an alley, a parking garage, behind a building or dumpster. While an everyday occurrence for the bums and homeless, an alley squat may be required by the refined and more sophisticated classes due to urgency and inability to make it to a proper facility.
Don’t take that back road as a shortcut. There are way to many alley squats back there. It’s stinks of hot, urine and shit.

After a long night of bar hopping, Carl had no choice but to alley squat on the way back to his car and drop a massive beer shit.
Alley Squat by Eaton Holgoode January 9, 2019

Plow the Corn Field 

Engage in vigorous anal sex. Pillage the cornhole.
Rachel is at home waiting for me. She texted earlier she wants me to plow the corn field.

Happy Start 

When you pay the extra cheese straight up at the massage parlor and you get a handy from the masseuse before the massage. Preferable to a happy ending.
The Asian spa downtown will give you a happy start for an extra $20.
Happy Start by Eaton Holgoode January 9, 2019

Jewel Bag 

The male scrotum. Home of the family jewels.
My jewel bag is so smooth when it’s shorn.
Jewel Bag by Eaton Holgoode January 9, 2019

Micro-Droop 

The state of male penile flaccidness and temporary inability to get a stiffy due to excessive abuse and consumption of micro brewed beers.
I picked her up at Hopps Brewhouse and had her in my bed naked ready to ride me cowgirl but I got the micro-droop and she ended up sucking Mr. Softy.
Micro-Droop by Eaton Holgoode January 9, 2019

Suck the Skin Off

Used to describe some of the best mind-blowing head one can get.
Braaaaahhh your mom is a rock star cock sucker. Last night I thought was was gonna suck the skin off.

Nuclear Waste 

An explosive case of the shits that blasts water and liquid shit up the sides of the bowl like a mushroom cloud and leaves the depositor’s o-ring burning like a seared piece of meat.
Those 3-alarm wings left me squatting with some serious nuclear waste.
Nuclear Waste by Eaton Holgoode January 9, 2019