1065 definitions by Eaton Holgoode
A rectal condition that forms from the abuse and overuse of the sphincter, a.k.a., the rosebud. The condition most commonly occurs from frequent acts such as fisting, anal sex, etc. Over time, the rectum becomes worn and the sphincter shows outward signs of wear and tear including, but not limited to, wilting, sagging and loss of elasticity. In extreme cases, Rose Wilt can result in anal leakage.
After years of aggressive anal play which included Howard's propensity for frequent anal fisting, he found himself suffering from a severe case of Rose Wilt and was required to wear adult diapers to avoid the mess of periodic anal leakage.
by Eaton Holgoode April 7, 2014
The Toledo Tablecloth is primarily used to score revenge or payback and is similar to a Texas Doily. The Toledo Tablecloth is best deployed over an end table or other small decorative table. Once deployed, a rapid exit from the location where it has been laid should be made so as to leave the tablecloth behind for furture discovery.
To create The Toledo Tablecloth, an individual must shit their grunders, aka underware intentionally, or use grunders that have significant skid marks, mud tracks or shit stains. To create the "tablecloth", take the underware off and turn them inside out making it a point to retain as much fecal matter as possible. Next, stretch the waistband opening around the edges of an end table or other small decorative table and pulling the band down the sides. Fold the legs of the underware over to the side so as to cover any exposed top of the table. Be sure to leave the shart stain as close to the middle of the table top as possible. Center as best as possible. Leave quickly for discovery by others.
To create The Toledo Tablecloth, an individual must shit their grunders, aka underware intentionally, or use grunders that have significant skid marks, mud tracks or shit stains. To create the "tablecloth", take the underware off and turn them inside out making it a point to retain as much fecal matter as possible. Next, stretch the waistband opening around the edges of an end table or other small decorative table and pulling the band down the sides. Fold the legs of the underware over to the side so as to cover any exposed top of the table. Be sure to leave the shart stain as close to the middle of the table top as possible. Center as best as possible. Leave quickly for discovery by others.
Unfortunately, Roger got off from work early and decided to drop by his girlfriend Mary Ann's house and surprise her. To Roger's dismay, he crept in only to find Mary Ann having sex with her neighbor Carl. Roger walked in just as Carl was diggning in the garden. Rather than becoming enraged, Roger did not disrupt their doggie style play and left the room. He copped a squat in the living room and laid a fresh, wet shart in his grunders. He then created The Toledo Tablecloth on Mary Ann's brand new Rooms To Go end table. He quickly left the house so he could clean up his sticky crack corn at a nearby 7-11.
by Eaton Holgoode February 20, 2014
My roommate and I were watching porn and ended up doing the mutual.
I heard the guy in the stall next to me rubbing one out so joined in with the mutual.
I heard the guy in the stall next to me rubbing one out so joined in with the mutual.
by Eaton Holgoode November 20, 2017
My girl doesn’t shave her beaver. She all husky down there.
I hooked up with a hot lipstick lez last night and we went back to my place for a hot scissor. She rubbed my cooch raw cause she all husky.
I hooked up with a hot lipstick lez last night and we went back to my place for a hot scissor. She rubbed my cooch raw cause she all husky.
by Eaton Holgoode January 16, 2019
She invited me over for a skin dinner and I graciously obliged.
by Eaton Holgoode January 16, 2018
When your uncle sneaks up behind you at a family gathering and shoves is hand down your back side and fishhooks your anal sphincter with his index finger. You can't run and you can't scream. You just take it like a man until he lets loose.
This may also be known by some in the rural south as a Mississippi Mud Finger.
This may also be known by some in the rural south as a Mississippi Mud Finger.
It wouldn't be a traditional Thanksgiving at Roger's house without an old fashioned Uncle Rusty. Roger got hooked four times last year before dinner.
by Eaton Holgoode November 23, 2016
That shiny, crusty amalgam of sexual fluids that encrust the penis the morning after a night of hot, wet sex.
I woke this morning with a good worst shrimp peel. I headed straight to the shower.
Between her wet pussy and me slinging some heavy ropes last night, I woke to a thick shrimp peel.
I didn’t need to shower off my shrimp peel this morning. She gave me a morning hummer and that slob job took care of it.
Between her wet pussy and me slinging some heavy ropes last night, I woke to a thick shrimp peel.
I didn’t need to shower off my shrimp peel this morning. She gave me a morning hummer and that slob job took care of it.
by Eaton Holgoode January 17, 2018