A volcano that spews hearts. A Valentine Volcano is most often seen at a senior center when two older people are very much in love, such as is seen with Beatrice Middleton and her boyfriend, Hec Hanley. A Valentine Volcano is very hard to stop; when it erupts, look out! Your heart will be on fire.
Beatrice: Wow! There's a Valentine Volcano out here. (she kisses Hec)
Hec: Whoah! Good one! Super-charged. You know there must be tons of Valentine Volcanoes around here.
Beatrice: Look where we are. We're at the Senior Center. There's some sweet stuff going on here.
Elsie: This is gonna be a great date! Would you dance with me?
Hec: (switches on 'Love Me Tender') This is a real volcano. Careful now, we're gonna get burned!
Beatrice: Its not that type of volcano. Would you be my Valentine, sweetie? (she sits down and starts rubbing Hec with some Martian Mud)
Hec: Of course I'll be your Valentine. You know I love you. We're both former Marines here. Semper Fi!
Beatrice: Yes, we almost live by the same creed. Honor, courage, commitment - A Gunny Granny's gotta do what a Gunny Granny's gotta do! Valentine Volcanoes are hot!
Hec: Whoah! Good one! Super-charged. You know there must be tons of Valentine Volcanoes around here.
Beatrice: Look where we are. We're at the Senior Center. There's some sweet stuff going on here.
Elsie: This is gonna be a great date! Would you dance with me?
Hec: (switches on 'Love Me Tender') This is a real volcano. Careful now, we're gonna get burned!
Beatrice: Its not that type of volcano. Would you be my Valentine, sweetie? (she sits down and starts rubbing Hec with some Martian Mud)
Hec: Of course I'll be your Valentine. You know I love you. We're both former Marines here. Semper Fi!
Beatrice: Yes, we almost live by the same creed. Honor, courage, commitment - A Gunny Granny's gotta do what a Gunny Granny's gotta do! Valentine Volcanoes are hot!
by Dusty's Baby Powder September 03, 2011
A very creamy warm up stretch created by Stan Parker. Done by bending your body into an 'S', first one way and then the other. The stretch is always counteracted by touching toes and holding it. This is one of the easiest ways to stretch your back. When your back hurts, try a Stanley S. Stan Parker approved; Harriet Parker used!
Stan: Hey honey, are you sore? Does your back hurt again?
Bryant: Yes. My back does hurt. I think I slept on it wrong.
Stan: Well, no problem. I know how to fix that. Here, let's do a Stanley S. (he bends himself into an S) Easy, now. There you go. This feels creamy, doesn't it?
Bryant: Yeah, it does feel good. This is one of the nicest stretches.
Stan: Now, reverse the bend. S your body the other way. See, like this. (he forms a reverse S with his body) See, like that! Now, hold that for a few seconds and then touch your toes. Easy, right?
Rabbit: What's that? I haven't tried it. Can you show me? I want to learn how. You know, I'm stiff.
Stan: Sure! Just make an S with your body. First one way. (he shows her the Stanley S) And then the other way. And then you touch your toes at the end.
Rabbit: (tries the Stanley S) Wow! Great stretch Stanley. I oughta try this everyday!
Stan: Well, about ten of those everyday and your back will get the best stretch in the world. Its nothing less than the Stanley S!
Bryant: Yes. My back does hurt. I think I slept on it wrong.
Stan: Well, no problem. I know how to fix that. Here, let's do a Stanley S. (he bends himself into an S) Easy, now. There you go. This feels creamy, doesn't it?
Bryant: Yeah, it does feel good. This is one of the nicest stretches.
Stan: Now, reverse the bend. S your body the other way. See, like this. (he forms a reverse S with his body) See, like that! Now, hold that for a few seconds and then touch your toes. Easy, right?
Rabbit: What's that? I haven't tried it. Can you show me? I want to learn how. You know, I'm stiff.
Stan: Sure! Just make an S with your body. First one way. (he shows her the Stanley S) And then the other way. And then you touch your toes at the end.
Rabbit: (tries the Stanley S) Wow! Great stretch Stanley. I oughta try this everyday!
Stan: Well, about ten of those everyday and your back will get the best stretch in the world. Its nothing less than the Stanley S!
by Dusty's Baby Powder July 31, 2011
A jail seen in every mall. Arrested shoppers can sit in here for hours at a time. June Jails are always guarded by at least security guard taking shifts. The first use of a June Jail was when June Drabble got arrested by her husband, Ralph, for eating candy that she didn't pay for. A June Jail is fun to sit in and will always be there when you're tired from shopping. So if you want a place to rest when your shopping failed, head on over to the nearest June Jail!
Ralph: I can't believe this! You stole a malt ball, honeybunch?! You're gonna have to sit in the June Jail.
June: Well, that might not be so bad. I still got me some candy!
Necky: But you didn't pay! That was just it, you didn't pay. Over against the wall! (starts searching June for candy)
Ralph: Look, I found a lava cake. Why don't we all sit in the June Jail. This is going to be fun. This is sweet! A June Jail is so much fun.
June: Yes, it sure is. But I feel like some exercise. (she starts jogging around the jail cell.)
Necky: Wait! Are you hungry? We still got some of the cake and candy.
June: No, not right now. Exercise first, then eat. You know how Ralph is. He's gotta keep his gooey going.
Ralph: (laughing) Now, all this exercise is making me tired. I'm gonna have to sit down. How do you like the June Jail?
June: It rocks! This is one of the nicest jails anybody could go to. A couple of hours in here and you'll love money. And its all thanks to my Ralphy Boy!
June: Well, that might not be so bad. I still got me some candy!
Necky: But you didn't pay! That was just it, you didn't pay. Over against the wall! (starts searching June for candy)
Ralph: Look, I found a lava cake. Why don't we all sit in the June Jail. This is going to be fun. This is sweet! A June Jail is so much fun.
June: Yes, it sure is. But I feel like some exercise. (she starts jogging around the jail cell.)
Necky: Wait! Are you hungry? We still got some of the cake and candy.
June: No, not right now. Exercise first, then eat. You know how Ralph is. He's gotta keep his gooey going.
Ralph: (laughing) Now, all this exercise is making me tired. I'm gonna have to sit down. How do you like the June Jail?
June: It rocks! This is one of the nicest jails anybody could go to. A couple of hours in here and you'll love money. And its all thanks to my Ralphy Boy!
by Dusty's Baby Powder December 13, 2011
A game of baseball created by Earl Pickles. Often played by Earl and his grandson, Nelson. It's used to teach kids how to hit the ball off the tee. Called 'Moonball' because the bat is often swung very hard and the ball is hit very far.
Nelson: (on the verge of crying but not quite) I'm just not a good batter. How can I learn to hit better?
Earl: What's the matter? Let's play Moonball. I'll show you how to do it.
Nelson: How?! I've never played Moonball before.
Earl: (demonstrating a proper batting stance) Here, do it like this. (swings the bat)
Nelson: Wow! Look at the ball go!
Earl: Wow! That ball almost went as high as the moon.
Nelson: (giving a high five) Move over, Ed Crankshaft, Earl Pickles is coming your way!
Ed: I heard that, Nelson Wolfe. You don't disrespect a Mudhen, you hear me?! (stares at him hard, angry eyed)
Nelson: Sorry, but I bet you never played Moonball when you played.
Earl: What's the matter? Let's play Moonball. I'll show you how to do it.
Nelson: How?! I've never played Moonball before.
Earl: (demonstrating a proper batting stance) Here, do it like this. (swings the bat)
Nelson: Wow! Look at the ball go!
Earl: Wow! That ball almost went as high as the moon.
Nelson: (giving a high five) Move over, Ed Crankshaft, Earl Pickles is coming your way!
Ed: I heard that, Nelson Wolfe. You don't disrespect a Mudhen, you hear me?! (stares at him hard, angry eyed)
Nelson: Sorry, but I bet you never played Moonball when you played.
by Dusty's Baby Powder February 27, 2011
An infomercial starring Opal Crankshaft. It is most often for exercise equipment but also for cooking or other "granny" products. The word is a mix of infomercial and Opal. Opal can often be seen skipping up and down on the set praising the products. Her grandson, Nelson, loves to watch Opalmercials. So, if you're looking for something to do at 4:30 am (PDT), click on the PIN Network for an Opalmercial - they are cute!
Opal: Hey Nelson, there's an Opalmercial on the TV. Wanna watch it?
Nelson: Sure! But we'll probably have to skip it. Its not that good.
Opal: Skip it? Of course we can skip it. Watch this! (she starts skipping down the hall with the remote in her hand)
Earl: What are you watching? Is that an Opalmercial? That's pretty cool. You love these, don't you?
Nelson: Yes. I love Opalmercials. Especially because they've got Gramma in them.
Earl: Well, what's she selling? Thunderbrushes? I bet its Thunderbrush.
Opal: I heard that! (she skips back down the hall to Earl) Aren't Opalmercials cute? Now, brush me fifty! (she winks at Nelson and they start skipping around the room) Opalmercials rock!
Nelson: Sure! But we'll probably have to skip it. Its not that good.
Opal: Skip it? Of course we can skip it. Watch this! (she starts skipping down the hall with the remote in her hand)
Earl: What are you watching? Is that an Opalmercial? That's pretty cool. You love these, don't you?
Nelson: Yes. I love Opalmercials. Especially because they've got Gramma in them.
Earl: Well, what's she selling? Thunderbrushes? I bet its Thunderbrush.
Opal: I heard that! (she skips back down the hall to Earl) Aren't Opalmercials cute? Now, brush me fifty! (she winks at Nelson and they start skipping around the room) Opalmercials rock!
by Dusty's Baby Powder September 29, 2011
A substitute referee that came in when the other ref got sick. Usually dressed in a normal ref uniform, but with white sneakers instead of black. Often also leads the crowd in warm up stretches yelling "Move it!". Once of the most famous is Beatrice Middleton as seen in 'The Middletons' strip from December 27, 2009. Reftitutes are crazy. They will eject you!
Liv: Hey, today's a great day for a jog! How about some warm up stretches?
Ben: Oh no, not the Hatley Hula again! We've done that a million times.
Liv: Yes, but you love it. Uh oh, here comes the Reftitute. We better get stretching.
Beatrice: (wearing a ref uniform) That's right! You'd better get moving. Can I stretch with you, too?
Liv: Of course! Easy, stretch all the way over. There you go! Doesn't that feel creamy?
Beatrice: Yes, but what else?
Liv: There's the Hatley Hula, the Liv Lean, the Benball. There's all sorts of crazy stretches. Even referees need to stretch.
Beatrice: You do realize we're only stretching before going running, don't you? (She blows the whistle) Move it! Reftitute in the house.
Liv: Nice, I think I'm gonna love this.
Ben: Yes, Reftitutes are sweet!
Ben: Oh no, not the Hatley Hula again! We've done that a million times.
Liv: Yes, but you love it. Uh oh, here comes the Reftitute. We better get stretching.
Beatrice: (wearing a ref uniform) That's right! You'd better get moving. Can I stretch with you, too?
Liv: Of course! Easy, stretch all the way over. There you go! Doesn't that feel creamy?
Beatrice: Yes, but what else?
Liv: There's the Hatley Hula, the Liv Lean, the Benball. There's all sorts of crazy stretches. Even referees need to stretch.
Beatrice: You do realize we're only stretching before going running, don't you? (She blows the whistle) Move it! Reftitute in the house.
Liv: Nice, I think I'm gonna love this.
Ben: Yes, Reftitutes are sweet!
by Dusty's Baby Powder December 19, 2011
A black and white warm up suit shared by Ben and Liv Hatley. Most often worn by Ben when he rides on the Benmobile, but also shared by Liv when she does Tai Chi. The often put it on in the mornings when they get up so they can stretch themselves. So when you see it, look out, because Ben Hatley has got his Hunk Suit on!
Ben: (riding on the Benmobile) Hey, I better get my Hunk Suit on. We're gonna play some soccer today! I'd better burn off some of this goo.
Nick: Hey, I got my soccer ball. How about we play soccer?
Ben: I'm not sure I know how. Can you teach me?
Nick: Well, its not hard to kick a soccer ball. Here, I'll show you. Spread your feet out so you get a good stance behind it. Then, you angle yourself to get a good shot - about 45 degrees, or so. And then you run toward the ball and slap it with your foot. Here, watch Mommy do it!
Patty: Here, Dad, he's right! I'll show you how. He's got the right idea. But when you're kicking it, try to squat down into the kick. That's where all the power comes from.
Ben: Alright, I'll try. Here it goes! (Nick throws a soccer ball to Ben and Ben shoots it) Wow, look at that thing go! Watch out Havard Flo, here comes Ben Hatley!
Nick: (laughing) Wow! You've sure learned fast.
Ben: Well, I had a great coach, Patty Hatley Tokoname. (Ben and Patty slap a high five. Then Ben high fives Nick)
Nick: You look good in that Hunk Suit. You're a hunka hunka Hatley love!!
Nick: Hey, I got my soccer ball. How about we play soccer?
Ben: I'm not sure I know how. Can you teach me?
Nick: Well, its not hard to kick a soccer ball. Here, I'll show you. Spread your feet out so you get a good stance behind it. Then, you angle yourself to get a good shot - about 45 degrees, or so. And then you run toward the ball and slap it with your foot. Here, watch Mommy do it!
Patty: Here, Dad, he's right! I'll show you how. He's got the right idea. But when you're kicking it, try to squat down into the kick. That's where all the power comes from.
Ben: Alright, I'll try. Here it goes! (Nick throws a soccer ball to Ben and Ben shoots it) Wow, look at that thing go! Watch out Havard Flo, here comes Ben Hatley!
Nick: (laughing) Wow! You've sure learned fast.
Ben: Well, I had a great coach, Patty Hatley Tokoname. (Ben and Patty slap a high five. Then Ben high fives Nick)
Nick: You look good in that Hunk Suit. You're a hunka hunka Hatley love!!
by Dusty's Baby Powder May 19, 2011