Dusty's Baby Powder's definitions
An exercise program most notably done by Opal Crankshaft. Done in a mirror in order to maintain the 'perky' expression on Opal's face.
Opal: Hey Martha, your face is sagging. You've got to do some perkies!
Martha: What the heck are perkies? I've never heard of that in all my 70 years.
Amos: Ten hut! A little facial PT, huh?
Opal: Yeah, you should try this. You're gonna love it! I do it all the time.
Amos: Might as well. If it's gonna make Martha look good it might make me look good too!
Martha: What the heck are perkies? I've never heard of that in all my 70 years.
Amos: Ten hut! A little facial PT, huh?
Opal: Yeah, you should try this. You're gonna love it! I do it all the time.
Amos: Might as well. If it's gonna make Martha look good it might make me look good too!
by Dusty's Baby Powder October 18, 2010
Get the Perkiesmug. An exercise program invented by Ed Crankshaft, done by him when played for the Toledo Mudhens. Of course it includes the Mudhen Bend, but it also includes other things. It is performed on a therapy ball and can be done anywhere.
Lena: Ed, I'm all worked up. I''m stiff. This bowling ball feels like lead.
Ed: (starts laughing at her) Well, have no fear, Ed Crankshaft is here. I know how to fix it! Try my Ed Stretches. They'll help.
Lena: Come on, medicine ball therapy. What are you talking about, Edward?
Ed: (looking at her stern) Lena Alice Johnson! Trust me, this always worked for me and it will work for you, too. Just try it.
Lena: Well, if it will help me bowl, sure, I'll try it.
(Ed and Lena start stretching on the ball)
Lena: Wow! You were right. Ed Stretches really work.
Ed: (laughing again) Lena, I told you they would. That's ball's gonna go down that lane like a hot knife through bacon!
Ed: (starts laughing at her) Well, have no fear, Ed Crankshaft is here. I know how to fix it! Try my Ed Stretches. They'll help.
Lena: Come on, medicine ball therapy. What are you talking about, Edward?
Ed: (looking at her stern) Lena Alice Johnson! Trust me, this always worked for me and it will work for you, too. Just try it.
Lena: Well, if it will help me bowl, sure, I'll try it.
(Ed and Lena start stretching on the ball)
Lena: Wow! You were right. Ed Stretches really work.
Ed: (laughing again) Lena, I told you they would. That's ball's gonna go down that lane like a hot knife through bacon!
by Dusty's Baby Powder April 7, 2011
Get the Ed Stretchesmug. A condition of falling asleep while watching TV. Most often seen when a boring show has just ended. It is most often found in Ben Hatley but also is seen in his wife, Olivia. They don't watch TV together much because of this. It is intensely hard to treat.
Ben: Hey Liv, I think 'Bodies in Motion' is on the TV. Want to watch it?
Liv: Sure, but we'll probably end up sleep watching.
Gilad: No you won't!! If you're gonna watch me you better do it?
Myrtle: Stupid Rascal, making me stiff like that. Maybe this will help.
Ralph: Count me in too, I need a workout.
Necky: You know, this is cool. I used to watch this when it was on before. Great workout.
Gil: (laughing at Necky) Did you like it?
Necky: Yes, I did. Used to do it when I was in the Marines. (gives a salute and screams 'Hoorah!')
(Ben and Liv start stretching on each other. Gil is laughing at Ben and Liv.)
Beatrice: Ten hut!!! One, two, three, four, you'd better work yourself some more!
Ben: (yawn) I knew we'd end up sleep watching. This is tough!
Liv: Sure, but we'll probably end up sleep watching.
Gilad: No you won't!! If you're gonna watch me you better do it?
Myrtle: Stupid Rascal, making me stiff like that. Maybe this will help.
Ralph: Count me in too, I need a workout.
Necky: You know, this is cool. I used to watch this when it was on before. Great workout.
Gil: (laughing at Necky) Did you like it?
Necky: Yes, I did. Used to do it when I was in the Marines. (gives a salute and screams 'Hoorah!')
(Ben and Liv start stretching on each other. Gil is laughing at Ben and Liv.)
Beatrice: Ten hut!!! One, two, three, four, you'd better work yourself some more!
Ben: (yawn) I knew we'd end up sleep watching. This is tough!
by Dusty's Baby Powder March 23, 2011
Get the Sleep Watchingmug. Slippers that also act as tennis shoes. They can be worn at night or as normal tennis shoes during the day. They are often worn with a bathrobe when doing the nightly exercises known as "Moon Stretches". The only known pair of Slipper Sneaks belongs to GYSGT. Beatrice Middleton. They are crazy sweet. So if you want your feet to be fit for weeks get yourself a pair of Slipper Sneaks.
Beatrice: Hey honey, did you see that moon? I'd better put on my Slipper Sneaks.
Bryant: Okay, it must be time for our Moon Stretches again. But what are Slipper Sneaks?
Beatrice: Only the most comfy sneakers ever! They're not only slippers, they're tennis shoes. You see here? (she lifts her foot up showing Bryant) See, they look like a tennis shoe. But they're also a slipper.
Bryant: Where can I get a pair? I love these!
Beatrice: Easy, honey. I've got tons of these. Now how about we do a nice, soft massage on you? These Slipper Sneaks would work great for that.
Bryant: Awesome! That felt really good. You almost went whole body, there.
Beatrice: Yes, Slipper Sneaks rule! A sneaker and a slipper combined. The best shoes any Gunny Granny could wear. A Gunny Granny's gotta love her shoes, now. (She kisses Bryant)
Bryant: Okay, it must be time for our Moon Stretches again. But what are Slipper Sneaks?
Beatrice: Only the most comfy sneakers ever! They're not only slippers, they're tennis shoes. You see here? (she lifts her foot up showing Bryant) See, they look like a tennis shoe. But they're also a slipper.
Bryant: Where can I get a pair? I love these!
Beatrice: Easy, honey. I've got tons of these. Now how about we do a nice, soft massage on you? These Slipper Sneaks would work great for that.
Bryant: Awesome! That felt really good. You almost went whole body, there.
Beatrice: Yes, Slipper Sneaks rule! A sneaker and a slipper combined. The best shoes any Gunny Granny could wear. A Gunny Granny's gotta love her shoes, now. (She kisses Bryant)
by Dusty's Baby Powder December 3, 2011
Get the Slipper Sneaksmug. The condition of running very quickly or tripping, often with flames under the feet. Used by Ralph Drabble when playing baseball with his son Patrick.
Patrick threw the baseball in so fast that, were Ralph not so good at hotheeling, he would be a greasy spot on the backstop instead of laying on his stomach.
by Dusty's Baby Powder September 15, 2010
Get the Hotheelingmug. A disease very similar to Middletons' Disease only much worse. This disease is suffered by Beatrice Middleton when she wants to play with the kids, but they aren't there. It is also commonly seen in the Middletons' pet dog, Bumper, when he wants to play. When she gets Gunny Granny Flu Beatrice is often stuck in the house and is very lonely. It is cured by intense workouts and other treatments such as massages. So if you love the comic strip 'The Middletons', be careful - you might get Middletons' Disease and the Gunny Granny Flu.
Bumper: Uh oh, its school time again. I bet Miss Beatrice will have the Gunny Granny Flu.
Rusty: She sure will! Its tough when the kids are in school. Crazy fall time.
Beatrice: Yes, it is crazy around this time. But think of it this way: you get to spend all your time with me. Isn't that sweet? (She reaches for a Martian Mud and rubs it into Bumper's fur)
Bumper: Thank you! That's better. Now I've got the Gunny Granny Flu. What else can we do?
Rusty: Well, I know she likes to stretch. How about we stretch each other? (Bumper and Rusty start stretching on each other)
Beatrice: Yes, that's it. You two know how to make a Gunny Granny feel better. Now how about a game of fetch? (she throws a tennis ball to Rusty)
Bumper and Rusty: Poor Beatrice! She doesn't know what to do. I guess the Gunny Granny Flu will never end. Its just so sad.
Rusty: She sure will! Its tough when the kids are in school. Crazy fall time.
Beatrice: Yes, it is crazy around this time. But think of it this way: you get to spend all your time with me. Isn't that sweet? (She reaches for a Martian Mud and rubs it into Bumper's fur)
Bumper: Thank you! That's better. Now I've got the Gunny Granny Flu. What else can we do?
Rusty: Well, I know she likes to stretch. How about we stretch each other? (Bumper and Rusty start stretching on each other)
Beatrice: Yes, that's it. You two know how to make a Gunny Granny feel better. Now how about a game of fetch? (she throws a tennis ball to Rusty)
Bumper and Rusty: Poor Beatrice! She doesn't know what to do. I guess the Gunny Granny Flu will never end. Its just so sad.
by Dusty's Baby Powder September 13, 2011
Get the Gunny Granny Flumug. Exercises that counteract vericose veins. Often done by older women who have vericose vein disease. Spidercises are easy to do and anyone can do it, even if you don't have vericose. This workout is one of many invented by Beatrice "Gunny Granny" Middleton. Spidercises are spooky sweet. So, if you old ladies have veins that are sore to your eyes, why not reduce them with some Spidercise!
Beatrice: Oh no, darn vericose veins again! They're getting to me, honey. Its time for my Spidercise.
Bryant: Spidercise? What's that? Is this some sort of crazy granny workout I don't know about?
Beatrice: Sure! Its a set of exercises that shrink Spider Veins. (she puts her hand on her spiders) You see? You massage the muscles around your spider veins with several different motions. And that shrinks them.
Morris: Does it really work? Could I try it, too? There's a vein in my wrist that shows up pretty far.
Beatrice: Sure, sweetheart. (she puts her hand on Morris' inner wrist) You just press and release and then you press again. Do you feel it burn?
Morris: Oh yeah, that burns all right. Its working, Momma.
Midge: Here, let me into this. I've got a weak vein in my arm.
Beatrice: Well, just pump up and down on it. That will stretch it. I tell you, Spidercises work! If you're an old Gunny Granny like me, they tone those veins right up! They rock!
Bryant: Spidercise? What's that? Is this some sort of crazy granny workout I don't know about?
Beatrice: Sure! Its a set of exercises that shrink Spider Veins. (she puts her hand on her spiders) You see? You massage the muscles around your spider veins with several different motions. And that shrinks them.
Morris: Does it really work? Could I try it, too? There's a vein in my wrist that shows up pretty far.
Beatrice: Sure, sweetheart. (she puts her hand on Morris' inner wrist) You just press and release and then you press again. Do you feel it burn?
Morris: Oh yeah, that burns all right. Its working, Momma.
Midge: Here, let me into this. I've got a weak vein in my arm.
Beatrice: Well, just pump up and down on it. That will stretch it. I tell you, Spidercises work! If you're an old Gunny Granny like me, they tone those veins right up! They rock!
by Dusty's Baby Powder December 27, 2011
Get the Spidercisemug.