Definitions by Dusty's Baby Powder
Spidercise
Exercises that counteract vericose veins. Often done by older women who have vericose vein disease. Spidercises are easy to do and anyone can do it, even if you don't have vericose. This workout is one of many invented by Beatrice "Gunny Granny" Middleton. Spidercises are spooky sweet. So, if you old ladies have veins that are sore to your eyes, why not reduce them with some Spidercise!
Beatrice: Oh no, darn vericose veins again! They're getting to me, honey. Its time for my Spidercise.
Bryant: Spidercise? What's that? Is this some sort of crazy granny workout I don't know about?
Beatrice: Sure! Its a set of exercises that shrink Spider Veins. (she puts her hand on her spiders) You see? You massage the muscles around your spider veins with several different motions. And that shrinks them.
Morris: Does it really work? Could I try it, too? There's a vein in my wrist that shows up pretty far.
Beatrice: Sure, sweetheart. (she puts her hand on Morris' inner wrist) You just press and release and then you press again. Do you feel it burn?
Morris: Oh yeah, that burns all right. Its working, Momma.
Midge: Here, let me into this. I've got a weak vein in my arm.
Beatrice: Well, just pump up and down on it. That will stretch it. I tell you, Spidercises work! If you're an old Gunny Granny like me, they tone those veins right up! They rock!
Bryant: Spidercise? What's that? Is this some sort of crazy granny workout I don't know about?
Beatrice: Sure! Its a set of exercises that shrink Spider Veins. (she puts her hand on her spiders) You see? You massage the muscles around your spider veins with several different motions. And that shrinks them.
Morris: Does it really work? Could I try it, too? There's a vein in my wrist that shows up pretty far.
Beatrice: Sure, sweetheart. (she puts her hand on Morris' inner wrist) You just press and release and then you press again. Do you feel it burn?
Morris: Oh yeah, that burns all right. Its working, Momma.
Midge: Here, let me into this. I've got a weak vein in my arm.
Beatrice: Well, just pump up and down on it. That will stretch it. I tell you, Spidercises work! If you're an old Gunny Granny like me, they tone those veins right up! They rock!
Spidercise by Dusty's Baby Powder December 27, 2011
Soccer-in-Law
A sports term used when the coach is related to a sponsor of the team. Can also be other sports, i.e. baseball-in-law, football-in-law, and many more. The most famous Soccer-in-Law is Midge Middleton whose mother-in-law, Beatrice, sometimes coaches soccer. If you want sports action that is truly raw cheer for your favorite Soccer-in-Law!
Beatrice: Oh no, another soccer game! We need some serious stuff here.
Midge: I know, I'm a Soccer-in-Law! The kids need ice cream and things like that.
Beatrice: Okay, why don't you take me by the clubhouse at 9:00 and pick up the soccer things and then run by Coach K's and get some Coach K Chicken. I have to be at the field at 10:00 for pre-game stretches. And then we can go back at 11:00 for ice cream.
Midge: Sure! but all that would be rough on me. I'll probably need some of those warm up stretches myself. (She starts stretching herself)
Beatrice: There you go! That's what we're talking about. A little pre-game workout never hurts. You may be my daughter-in-law, but you're also a Soccer-in-Law. I'll see you later. (she blows the coach's whistle) Hey kids, move it!
Midge: (walks off the field) My mother-in-law's a great coach. And I'm the best Soccer-in-Law there is! Soccer-in-Laws are sweet@
Midge: I know, I'm a Soccer-in-Law! The kids need ice cream and things like that.
Beatrice: Okay, why don't you take me by the clubhouse at 9:00 and pick up the soccer things and then run by Coach K's and get some Coach K Chicken. I have to be at the field at 10:00 for pre-game stretches. And then we can go back at 11:00 for ice cream.
Midge: Sure! but all that would be rough on me. I'll probably need some of those warm up stretches myself. (She starts stretching herself)
Beatrice: There you go! That's what we're talking about. A little pre-game workout never hurts. You may be my daughter-in-law, but you're also a Soccer-in-Law. I'll see you later. (she blows the coach's whistle) Hey kids, move it!
Midge: (walks off the field) My mother-in-law's a great coach. And I'm the best Soccer-in-Law there is! Soccer-in-Laws are sweet@
Soccer-in-Law by Dusty's Baby Powder December 27, 2011
Grannyball
A form of baseball played by Beatrice Middleton and all the neighborhood kids. Often played in the street with her coaching. Grannyball is easy to play. After a run is scored the dogs come and move the bases further apart. Grannyball is most often played in the summer when the kids are out of school. You will love i! Beatrice Middleton told you! If you want a great game to play until fall grab your favorite granny and play Grannyball.
Beatrice: Hey Diego, Wilson, you two up for a game of Granyball? Its going to be fun.
Diego: What's Grannyball? I've never heard of it. Is it good to play?
Beatrice: Of course it is! Its great, I'll teach you! Its just like normal baseball, except played by a bunch of grannies. See?
Wilson: Dang, she's right. This is fun! She knows what she's doing. (He hits a ball) Sweet, homerun!
Beatrice: That's it. We'd better move the bases. (she whistles for the dogs) Come on in. (the dogs move the bases)
Diego: Wow! This game is fun. I'm gonna have to play it with my grandma. She would love it!
Beatrice: Hey, I'm your grandma. I'm both your grandmas. You love me like one! Grannyball is for everyone!
Wilson: You're right, Coach Beatrice, Grannyball rocks. It is the best game we've ever played.
Beatrice: Okay, now that the game's over, we need some exercise. Give me 50! Grannyball rocks! (they all drop to the ground and start doing push ups)
Diego: What's Grannyball? I've never heard of it. Is it good to play?
Beatrice: Of course it is! Its great, I'll teach you! Its just like normal baseball, except played by a bunch of grannies. See?
Wilson: Dang, she's right. This is fun! She knows what she's doing. (He hits a ball) Sweet, homerun!
Beatrice: That's it. We'd better move the bases. (she whistles for the dogs) Come on in. (the dogs move the bases)
Diego: Wow! This game is fun. I'm gonna have to play it with my grandma. She would love it!
Beatrice: Hey, I'm your grandma. I'm both your grandmas. You love me like one! Grannyball is for everyone!
Wilson: You're right, Coach Beatrice, Grannyball rocks. It is the best game we've ever played.
Beatrice: Okay, now that the game's over, we need some exercise. Give me 50! Grannyball rocks! (they all drop to the ground and start doing push ups)
Grannyball by Dusty's Baby Powder December 27, 2011
Stumble Stretch
The act of stretching while also using the computer application "StumbleUpon". The exercise is used by many Stumblers when they can't think of anything to look up. This also makes them think better. It is one of the best computer exercises you can think of. So if you want info at a real fast fetch, click that Stumble button and do a Stumble Stretch.
Hec: What's this weird thing? I've never seen that toolbar before.
Brad: Its called StumbleUpon. Its my favorite app! Craziest thing you've ever seen! (click the 'Stumble' button)
Hec: Wow! Everything in just one click? (groans) Oh no, I think I need some exercise.
Brad: Sure! How about a Stumble Stretch? (clicks the button and reaches for Hec's hand) Now I'm stretching your hand. See? You just click and stretch at the same time. Its easy! Everybody loves it.
Hec: Whoah! I'm a Stumbler now.
Brad: Yes, the Stumble Stretch, one of the best PC workouts around! You've joined the Stumbler Nation. See, and so did I!
Brad: Its called StumbleUpon. Its my favorite app! Craziest thing you've ever seen! (click the 'Stumble' button)
Hec: Wow! Everything in just one click? (groans) Oh no, I think I need some exercise.
Brad: Sure! How about a Stumble Stretch? (clicks the button and reaches for Hec's hand) Now I'm stretching your hand. See? You just click and stretch at the same time. Its easy! Everybody loves it.
Hec: Whoah! I'm a Stumbler now.
Brad: Yes, the Stumble Stretch, one of the best PC workouts around! You've joined the Stumbler Nation. See, and so did I!
Stumble Stretch by Dusty's Baby Powder December 26, 2011
Module Monster
A monster that likes certain classes taught at residential care homes. The monster often jumps up and down happily taking in all the sights and sounds. Module Monsters really like art, exercise, and various other things. Look out for the Module Monster; its coming to a care home near you!
Brad: Hey Beatrice, how's it going?
Beatrice: Hey, aren't you Brad Hammers? I've heard a lot about you.
Brad: Well, I've heard an awful lot about Bryant's Gunny Granny. Pleasure to meet you!
Beatrice: Oh, he told you? Do you know my creed?
Brad: Yes, but I'd love to hear you say.
Beatrice: A Gunny Granny's gotta do what a Gunny Granny's gotta do.
Bryant: Hey guys, what's going on? Is it time for the modules class yet?
Brad: Just about time there, Module Monster!
Beatrice: What on Earth is a Module Monster? I never saw it.
Bryant: A Module Monster is a monster that likes module classes. It likes to do all sorts of fun stuff.
Beatrice: Cool! Any monster friend of yours is a friend of mine.
Brad: Bryant is a huge Module Monster and my go-to-guy. He's gonna help me introduce Qigong to everyone.
Master Ken: Yeah, Qigong is beautiful. They'd really like it. You'll make a great teacher!
Bryant: Module Monsters! Fun stuff forever!
Beatrice: Hey, aren't you Brad Hammers? I've heard a lot about you.
Brad: Well, I've heard an awful lot about Bryant's Gunny Granny. Pleasure to meet you!
Beatrice: Oh, he told you? Do you know my creed?
Brad: Yes, but I'd love to hear you say.
Beatrice: A Gunny Granny's gotta do what a Gunny Granny's gotta do.
Bryant: Hey guys, what's going on? Is it time for the modules class yet?
Brad: Just about time there, Module Monster!
Beatrice: What on Earth is a Module Monster? I never saw it.
Bryant: A Module Monster is a monster that likes module classes. It likes to do all sorts of fun stuff.
Beatrice: Cool! Any monster friend of yours is a friend of mine.
Brad: Bryant is a huge Module Monster and my go-to-guy. He's gonna help me introduce Qigong to everyone.
Master Ken: Yeah, Qigong is beautiful. They'd really like it. You'll make a great teacher!
Bryant: Module Monsters! Fun stuff forever!
Module Monster by Dusty's Baby Powder December 20, 2011
Reftitute
A substitute referee that came in when the other ref got sick. Usually dressed in a normal ref uniform, but with white sneakers instead of black. Often also leads the crowd in warm up stretches yelling "Move it!". Once of the most famous is Beatrice Middleton as seen in 'The Middletons' strip from December 27, 2009. Reftitutes are crazy. They will eject you!
Liv: Hey, today's a great day for a jog! How about some warm up stretches?
Ben: Oh no, not the Hatley Hula again! We've done that a million times.
Liv: Yes, but you love it. Uh oh, here comes the Reftitute. We better get stretching.
Beatrice: (wearing a ref uniform) That's right! You'd better get moving. Can I stretch with you, too?
Liv: Of course! Easy, stretch all the way over. There you go! Doesn't that feel creamy?
Beatrice: Yes, but what else?
Liv: There's the Hatley Hula, the Liv Lean, the Benball. There's all sorts of crazy stretches. Even referees need to stretch.
Beatrice: You do realize we're only stretching before going running, don't you? (She blows the whistle) Move it! Reftitute in the house.
Liv: Nice, I think I'm gonna love this.
Ben: Yes, Reftitutes are sweet!
Ben: Oh no, not the Hatley Hula again! We've done that a million times.
Liv: Yes, but you love it. Uh oh, here comes the Reftitute. We better get stretching.
Beatrice: (wearing a ref uniform) That's right! You'd better get moving. Can I stretch with you, too?
Liv: Of course! Easy, stretch all the way over. There you go! Doesn't that feel creamy?
Beatrice: Yes, but what else?
Liv: There's the Hatley Hula, the Liv Lean, the Benball. There's all sorts of crazy stretches. Even referees need to stretch.
Beatrice: You do realize we're only stretching before going running, don't you? (She blows the whistle) Move it! Reftitute in the house.
Liv: Nice, I think I'm gonna love this.
Ben: Yes, Reftitutes are sweet!
Reftitute by Dusty's Baby Powder December 20, 2011
June Jail
A jail seen in every mall. Arrested shoppers can sit in here for hours at a time. June Jails are always guarded by at least security guard taking shifts. The first use of a June Jail was when June Drabble got arrested by her husband, Ralph, for eating candy that she didn't pay for. A June Jail is fun to sit in and will always be there when you're tired from shopping. So if you want a place to rest when your shopping failed, head on over to the nearest June Jail!
Ralph: I can't believe this! You stole a malt ball, honeybunch?! You're gonna have to sit in the June Jail.
June: Well, that might not be so bad. I still got me some candy!
Necky: But you didn't pay! That was just it, you didn't pay. Over against the wall! (starts searching June for candy)
Ralph: Look, I found a lava cake. Why don't we all sit in the June Jail. This is going to be fun. This is sweet! A June Jail is so much fun.
June: Yes, it sure is. But I feel like some exercise. (she starts jogging around the jail cell.)
Necky: Wait! Are you hungry? We still got some of the cake and candy.
June: No, not right now. Exercise first, then eat. You know how Ralph is. He's gotta keep his gooey going.
Ralph: (laughing) Now, all this exercise is making me tired. I'm gonna have to sit down. How do you like the June Jail?
June: It rocks! This is one of the nicest jails anybody could go to. A couple of hours in here and you'll love money. And its all thanks to my Ralphy Boy!
June: Well, that might not be so bad. I still got me some candy!
Necky: But you didn't pay! That was just it, you didn't pay. Over against the wall! (starts searching June for candy)
Ralph: Look, I found a lava cake. Why don't we all sit in the June Jail. This is going to be fun. This is sweet! A June Jail is so much fun.
June: Yes, it sure is. But I feel like some exercise. (she starts jogging around the jail cell.)
Necky: Wait! Are you hungry? We still got some of the cake and candy.
June: No, not right now. Exercise first, then eat. You know how Ralph is. He's gotta keep his gooey going.
Ralph: (laughing) Now, all this exercise is making me tired. I'm gonna have to sit down. How do you like the June Jail?
June: It rocks! This is one of the nicest jails anybody could go to. A couple of hours in here and you'll love money. And its all thanks to my Ralphy Boy!
June Jail by Dusty's Baby Powder December 15, 2011