It's a bear that patrols malls, often catching bad shoppers and putting them in mall jails. One of many mall cop animals.
Ralph: It's been a rough day. The mall grizzly out here is really crazy.
Emily: Do you think we can trap them? We need some honey.
Ralph: No, mall grizzlies don't eat honey, they eat money!!
Emily: Do you think we can trap them? We need some honey.
Ralph: No, mall grizzlies don't eat honey, they eat money!!
by Dusty's Baby Powder October 09, 2010
An exercise program invented by Ed Crankshaft, done by him when played for the Toledo Mudhens. Of course it includes the Mudhen Bend, but it also includes other things. It is performed on a therapy ball and can be done anywhere.
Lena: Ed, I'm all worked up. I''m stiff. This bowling ball feels like lead.
Ed: (starts laughing at her) Well, have no fear, Ed Crankshaft is here. I know how to fix it! Try my Ed Stretches. They'll help.
Lena: Come on, medicine ball therapy. What are you talking about, Edward?
Ed: (looking at her stern) Lena Alice Johnson! Trust me, this always worked for me and it will work for you, too. Just try it.
Lena: Well, if it will help me bowl, sure, I'll try it.
(Ed and Lena start stretching on the ball)
Lena: Wow! You were right. Ed Stretches really work.
Ed: (laughing again) Lena, I told you they would. That's ball's gonna go down that lane like a hot knife through bacon!
Ed: (starts laughing at her) Well, have no fear, Ed Crankshaft is here. I know how to fix it! Try my Ed Stretches. They'll help.
Lena: Come on, medicine ball therapy. What are you talking about, Edward?
Ed: (looking at her stern) Lena Alice Johnson! Trust me, this always worked for me and it will work for you, too. Just try it.
Lena: Well, if it will help me bowl, sure, I'll try it.
(Ed and Lena start stretching on the ball)
Lena: Wow! You were right. Ed Stretches really work.
Ed: (laughing again) Lena, I told you they would. That's ball's gonna go down that lane like a hot knife through bacon!
by Dusty's Baby Powder March 23, 2011
A very painful form of arthritis suffered by Ralph Drabble, especially after working in the yard. The condition is so painful that sometimes he can hardly stand up. It is often accompanied by him talking to his body, saying things such as "Come on, left knee!" or "Keep going lower back!" The best known cure is the Drabble Stand, the exercise with which he ends his yard chores.
Ralph: Oh no, not Ralphritis! I'm gonna have to do a Drabble Stand, big time. Come on, left knee! You can do this! Easy, easy now.
LeRoy: What is that? What's with the groaning? Why are you cheering on your body like that? I don't do that.
Ralph: (he massaging his knees because he was kneeling on the ground) Its my Ralphritis. Its this disease I have. Terrible stuff.
LeRoy: I've got almost the same thing. My knees hurt when I run. Or when I've been working out too much. (he bends down and touches his toes) See, I know just what you're talking about. It is terrible.
Ralph: Yeah, we're in the same boat. We both have arthritis. But at least we know how to stretch it off. Its not easy with Ralphritis, though.
LeRoy: How do you do it? I want to know.
Ralph: A Drabble Stand. Here, I'll show you how. (He shows LeRoy how) You ease up out of the kneel. You don't just go all at once. That way you'll get a good stretch. See? Its easy. (both speaking together) Here's to Ralphritis! A yard warrior's best friend!
LeRoy: What is that? What's with the groaning? Why are you cheering on your body like that? I don't do that.
Ralph: (he massaging his knees because he was kneeling on the ground) Its my Ralphritis. Its this disease I have. Terrible stuff.
LeRoy: I've got almost the same thing. My knees hurt when I run. Or when I've been working out too much. (he bends down and touches his toes) See, I know just what you're talking about. It is terrible.
Ralph: Yeah, we're in the same boat. We both have arthritis. But at least we know how to stretch it off. Its not easy with Ralphritis, though.
LeRoy: How do you do it? I want to know.
Ralph: A Drabble Stand. Here, I'll show you how. (He shows LeRoy how) You ease up out of the kneel. You don't just go all at once. That way you'll get a good stretch. See? Its easy. (both speaking together) Here's to Ralphritis! A yard warrior's best friend!
by Dusty's Baby Powder August 14, 2011
A dance done at Camp Swampy by Major Randy "Birdie" Burk. Mostly done after a winning golf game. He will stamp his feet into the dirt, peck at the ground like a chicken, and wave his hands in the air. Similar to the Dirty Bird fan move. So if you want to stay out until about 12:30 play golf with Birdie Burk and learn the Dirty Birdie!
Birdie: Yes, I beat you good, Halftrack! (jumps up and down in excitement) Dirty Birdie, take that! (starts doing the Dirty Birdie)
Amos: Yeah, you beat me all right. What's this dance you're doing? Is that the Dirty Bird? (he starts following what Birdie's doing)
Birdie: No. Its not the Dirty Bird, its the Dirty Birdie. Its a dance that I do every time I win a golf game. You stamp your feet, peck like a chicken, and then do the Dirty Bird. Beetle Bailey fans will love it.
Amos: Sweet! This is a great new dance. When we get back I'm going to show it to Marty. We'll be doing the Dirty Birdie all the way down.
Birdie: Oh yes! The Dirty Birdie rules! Its a sweet move. It doesn't hurty when you do the Dirty Birdie!
Amos: Sweet! (they high five each other and stamp their feet)
Amos: Yeah, you beat me all right. What's this dance you're doing? Is that the Dirty Bird? (he starts following what Birdie's doing)
Birdie: No. Its not the Dirty Bird, its the Dirty Birdie. Its a dance that I do every time I win a golf game. You stamp your feet, peck like a chicken, and then do the Dirty Bird. Beetle Bailey fans will love it.
Amos: Sweet! This is a great new dance. When we get back I'm going to show it to Marty. We'll be doing the Dirty Birdie all the way down.
Birdie: Oh yes! The Dirty Birdie rules! Its a sweet move. It doesn't hurty when you do the Dirty Birdie!
Amos: Sweet! (they high five each other and stamp their feet)
by Dusty's Baby Powder October 29, 2011
A martial art most often practiced by older women. Most often uses a cane as a weapon. A lot of loose skin and canes flying.
by Dusty's Baby Powder August 19, 2010
Intense love for the Toledo Mudhens. Most notably shown by old time players for them. Especially Ed Crankshaft and Fred "Dusty" Duncan.
Dusty: Hey Ed, there's a Mudhens game on the TV tonight. Want to watch it?
Ed: Oh yeah, big time muddy love, man!
Dusty: I bet we're in it, too! This must be from at least 1945.
Ed: Once a Mudhen, always a Mudhen. You never lose the muddy love!
Ed: Oh yeah, big time muddy love, man!
Dusty: I bet we're in it, too! This must be from at least 1945.
Ed: Once a Mudhen, always a Mudhen. You never lose the muddy love!
by Dusty's Baby Powder October 23, 2010
The act of drinking hot chocolate mixed with honey. The idea behind this is that the hot cocoa plus the warm honey heats up the body. This is done by Opal Crankshaft in the winter when she's cold. And she also does it to her ex-husband, Earl.
Opal: Hey sweetie, I feel like some coco. You want to get honeybodied?
Ed: What are you talking about? I've never heard of that.
Opal: Well, it works this way: (mixing the coco with the honey) see, they're both hot and the heat warms up the body.
Ralph M.: Hey Ed, what's going on? What's that drink?
Ed: You want some? We're getting honeybodied here.
Ralph D.: Count me in, too. I'm so cold and stiff from that workout I had today. June nearly drove me crazy!
Opal: Well, here y'all. Have some of this stuff. Its guaranteed; you'll be honeybodied in no time!
Ed: What are you talking about? I've never heard of that.
Opal: Well, it works this way: (mixing the coco with the honey) see, they're both hot and the heat warms up the body.
Ralph M.: Hey Ed, what's going on? What's that drink?
Ed: You want some? We're getting honeybodied here.
Ralph D.: Count me in, too. I'm so cold and stiff from that workout I had today. June nearly drove me crazy!
Opal: Well, here y'all. Have some of this stuff. Its guaranteed; you'll be honeybodied in no time!
by Dusty's Baby Powder January 16, 2011