141 definitions by Dusty's Baby Powder
The condition of Ed Crankshaft of trying to feed his cat, Pickles. Except Pickles sometimes does not want to be fed. This is also known as 'airplane spoon' due to Ed using the old 'airplane-into-the-hangar' trick on Pickles.
Elmer: Edward, what the heck are you doing?
Ed: I'm trying to feed the cat, but he won't eat. He's just being Crankcatted.
Roger: I've never heard of a cat being fed with a spoon!
Ed: It worked on my daughters, why can't it work for my cat?!
Pickles: (angry) Meow! I'm not having this, Ed, quit doing it!
Ed: I'm trying to feed the cat, but he won't eat. He's just being Crankcatted.
Roger: I've never heard of a cat being fed with a spoon!
Ed: It worked on my daughters, why can't it work for my cat?!
Pickles: (angry) Meow! I'm not having this, Ed, quit doing it!
by Dusty's Baby Powder January 6, 2011
A handshake used by Marine Corps soldiers. First invented by Gunnery Sergeant Beatrice Middleton in 1945. Done this way: first, slapping a high five; sliding the hand lower and giving a slightly lower five; closing of fist and tucking the thumb in; then bumping them while saying "Eagle, globe, and anchor"; then as the hand is pulled and shaken and "Away we go!" is said. Also, when the fives are given, "Up high" and "down low" are said as well.
Amos: Hey Sarge, there's a party down in the defac.
Orville: (confused, not knowing what Amos is saying) This crazy thing. What's this hand thing they're doing? Are they trying to show off?
Beatrice: No, it's the Gunny Five. I invented this. Let me show you how.
(Beatrice gives the Gunny Five to Amos. Amos passes the Gunny Five to Orville)
Beatrice: You do it that way, it's easy!
Martha: These men are going crazy. What's with all these fives? I want to learn how.
Beatrice: (demonstrating to Martha) Up high, down low, eagle, globe, and anchor, and away we go!
Martha: (yelling) That's funky. I'm going to have to teach all the soldiers that.
(Orville and Amos wink at each other then look at Martha and give the Gunny Five to Martha)
Orville: (confused, not knowing what Amos is saying) This crazy thing. What's this hand thing they're doing? Are they trying to show off?
Beatrice: No, it's the Gunny Five. I invented this. Let me show you how.
(Beatrice gives the Gunny Five to Amos. Amos passes the Gunny Five to Orville)
Beatrice: You do it that way, it's easy!
Martha: These men are going crazy. What's with all these fives? I want to learn how.
Beatrice: (demonstrating to Martha) Up high, down low, eagle, globe, and anchor, and away we go!
Martha: (yelling) That's funky. I'm going to have to teach all the soldiers that.
(Orville and Amos wink at each other then look at Martha and give the Gunny Five to Martha)
by Dusty's Baby Powder March 3, 2011
A disease held by all Toledo Mudhens Fans, moreso in the old timers. It is often caught by fans watching the old timer reunion games with class of 1945. Mudhen Fever is especially held by Ed Crankshaft, Dale 'Beanball' Bushka, Jefferson 'J.J.' Jacks, and Fred 'Dusty' Duncan.
Dale: (talking to the team) OK boys, we're almost ready to come out here.
Ed: (screaming) Yeah, Mudhen Fever time! I'd better start doing my Mudhen Bends.
Beanball: Mind if we all join you? We're all Mudhens here.
Dusty: Aye, yes, the magic of the Mudhen Fever. This is going to be a good game.
Dale: (on the P.A. system) Introducing the Toledo Mudhens class of 1945.
Nelson: Oh boy, this is going to be a good game. I get to see Grandpa Ed in his old Mudhen suit.
Beanball: You're right, who knows, you might get a signed ball by him. Bryant has one. (picks up the signed baseball and hands the ball to Nelson). See, 'Ed Crankshaft', best Toledo Mudhens pitcher ever!
Ed: (overhears Beanball and Nelson, the gang gets together and starts slapping Gunny Fives) Mudhen Silver, Mudhen Gold, you guys are young and we're all old! (as in a taunt to the other team, who is Rochester Red Wings class of 1972)
Nelson: Have a good game, Grandpa Ed. I'll be rooting for you.
Beanball, Dusy, J.J.: That's right, Nelson. He's not just A Mudhen, he's the BEST Mudhen!
(The game begins and no one is talking)
Ed: (screaming) Yeah, Mudhen Fever time! I'd better start doing my Mudhen Bends.
Beanball: Mind if we all join you? We're all Mudhens here.
Dusty: Aye, yes, the magic of the Mudhen Fever. This is going to be a good game.
Dale: (on the P.A. system) Introducing the Toledo Mudhens class of 1945.
Nelson: Oh boy, this is going to be a good game. I get to see Grandpa Ed in his old Mudhen suit.
Beanball: You're right, who knows, you might get a signed ball by him. Bryant has one. (picks up the signed baseball and hands the ball to Nelson). See, 'Ed Crankshaft', best Toledo Mudhens pitcher ever!
Ed: (overhears Beanball and Nelson, the gang gets together and starts slapping Gunny Fives) Mudhen Silver, Mudhen Gold, you guys are young and we're all old! (as in a taunt to the other team, who is Rochester Red Wings class of 1972)
Nelson: Have a good game, Grandpa Ed. I'll be rooting for you.
Beanball, Dusy, J.J.: That's right, Nelson. He's not just A Mudhen, he's the BEST Mudhen!
(The game begins and no one is talking)
by Dusty's Baby Powder March 4, 2011
The condition of having used coco butter and honey lotion. Often given in the form of a massage or beauty treatment. This is most notably seen in Opal Crankshaft, but has also been seen in others, such as her husband, Earl.
Opal: Just look at your hands. They're like a snake.
Earl: Yeah, maybe I need to be honeyhanded.
Opal: Yeah, you should try that lotion we always use. It has honey in it.
Earl: Well, I didn't like it at first. But maybe I should try it again.
Opal: Here, sweetie, I'll honey your hands for you!
Earl: Yeah, maybe I need to be honeyhanded.
Opal: Yeah, you should try that lotion we always use. It has honey in it.
Earl: Well, I didn't like it at first. But maybe I should try it again.
Opal: Here, sweetie, I'll honey your hands for you!
by Dusty's Baby Powder November 27, 2010
A judo throw that was created by Liv Hatley. Done by first getting in a horse stance and asking the person to come near you, then giving them a hug using the hands. Then the legs are wrapped around the person's waist so that you're hugging them with your full body. The throw ends with either a punch or a sweep causing both people to roll over laughing and wrestling. This so much fun. If you want to get your grandparents to play with you, ask them for a Horsey Hug and tell them Liv Hatley told you!
Liv: Hey Bryant, come here! You want to play judo with me? Come on, give me a Horsey Hug!
Bryant: Okay, here we go. (crouches in the horse stance waiting)
Liv: Okay, here I come. (she hugs Bryant with her hands) Hold on! We're not in the Horsey Hug yet. I gotta get my legs in there. Its not a Horsey Hug unless you go whole body with it, you know?
Bryant: (laughing) I know, if you don't do it full body, its just not a Horsey Hug. (wraps his legs around Liv's waist and execute a tiger's claw) See? Like that. You didn't get your whole body into it. There wasn't enough power.
Liv: I know. But isn't this fun? Its a great exercise, huh? Maybe next time we should let Grandpa Ben know about it. He doesn't know the secret of the Horsey Hug, yet.
Bryant: I know, he likes his Hatley Hula better. (leans over into a Hatley Hula and kisses Liv) Whew! What a workout. I just about got strangled.
Liv: I know. But that was a Horsey Hug. I had to show you some Hatley love.
Bryant: Okay, here we go. (crouches in the horse stance waiting)
Liv: Okay, here I come. (she hugs Bryant with her hands) Hold on! We're not in the Horsey Hug yet. I gotta get my legs in there. Its not a Horsey Hug unless you go whole body with it, you know?
Bryant: (laughing) I know, if you don't do it full body, its just not a Horsey Hug. (wraps his legs around Liv's waist and execute a tiger's claw) See? Like that. You didn't get your whole body into it. There wasn't enough power.
Liv: I know. But isn't this fun? Its a great exercise, huh? Maybe next time we should let Grandpa Ben know about it. He doesn't know the secret of the Horsey Hug, yet.
Bryant: I know, he likes his Hatley Hula better. (leans over into a Hatley Hula and kisses Liv) Whew! What a workout. I just about got strangled.
Liv: I know. But that was a Horsey Hug. I had to show you some Hatley love.
by Dusty's Baby Powder July 14, 2011
A former US Navy officer who loves watching TV. He often sits with a remote in his hand, patting the sofa as if it were a ship. The most famous Sofa Captain is Captain Earl Pickles, USN Ret.
Earl: Hey Nelson, you want to sit here with your favorite Sofa Captain? I think 'The Flintstones' is on.
Nelson: You are a such a goof! Of course I'll sit there with you.
Earl: (like a sea captain) Aye aye! Clear sailing ahead, matey!
Nelson: (like a sea captain) Arrgh, the goodship Flintstones dead ahead!
Opal: Anybody want some brownies and milk? Sofa Captains needs their snacks, you know!
Nelson: You are a such a goof! Of course I'll sit there with you.
Earl: (like a sea captain) Aye aye! Clear sailing ahead, matey!
Nelson: (like a sea captain) Arrgh, the goodship Flintstones dead ahead!
Opal: Anybody want some brownies and milk? Sofa Captains needs their snacks, you know!
by Dusty's Baby Powder January 21, 2011
A love exercise created by Martha Halftrack. Done by hugging someone then letting go and hugging them again. The constant hug and release motion is also a chest exercise. It is called a Marty Melt because when Marty hugs you, you melt into her. She uses this on her husband, Amos, and her favorite grandson, Bryant Hollifield.
Amos: Oh no, the guys at the party we're talking bad smack about me. I'm gonna get them. After all, I am a B.G., commander of Camp Swampy.
Marty: Whoah, dear. Easy there. I got an exercise that will have you loving them again. Its a Marty Melt. Come here and hug me, but then let go. And when you hug me, I mean SQUEEZE!
Amos: Sure, but how would squeezing on you get the guys to love me? You don't hug them.
Marty: (laughs) Well, its one way I show you love. Come on, Amos, we've been married 53 years. I've loved since the day I met you. (she hugs him hard)
Amos: (returns the hug) Whoah! That's a power hug right there. This is one sweet exercise! Maybe I should tell the other guys.
Bryant: Hey, are you two up to something sweet? Are you getting mushy on him? Let me at it!
Marty: Here, dear. Its your turn. You haven't tried the Marty Melt yet. Now, give Grandma Marty a big hug and don't let go until I say.
Bryant: (hugs Marty) Wow! That's a real burner. My chest is stinging.
Marty: Well, that's a Marty Melt. It really massages your heart. You go all gooey when you get one of these. I love it!
Bryant: Sweet and awesome! I'm gonna have to show Gunny Granny, she'd love it! The Marty Melt is hot!
Marty: Whoah, dear. Easy there. I got an exercise that will have you loving them again. Its a Marty Melt. Come here and hug me, but then let go. And when you hug me, I mean SQUEEZE!
Amos: Sure, but how would squeezing on you get the guys to love me? You don't hug them.
Marty: (laughs) Well, its one way I show you love. Come on, Amos, we've been married 53 years. I've loved since the day I met you. (she hugs him hard)
Amos: (returns the hug) Whoah! That's a power hug right there. This is one sweet exercise! Maybe I should tell the other guys.
Bryant: Hey, are you two up to something sweet? Are you getting mushy on him? Let me at it!
Marty: Here, dear. Its your turn. You haven't tried the Marty Melt yet. Now, give Grandma Marty a big hug and don't let go until I say.
Bryant: (hugs Marty) Wow! That's a real burner. My chest is stinging.
Marty: Well, that's a Marty Melt. It really massages your heart. You go all gooey when you get one of these. I love it!
Bryant: Sweet and awesome! I'm gonna have to show Gunny Granny, she'd love it! The Marty Melt is hot!
by Dusty's Baby Powder October 23, 2011