Exercises that counteract vericose veins. Often done by older women who have vericose vein disease. Spidercises are easy to do and anyone can do it, even if you don't have vericose. This workout is one of many invented by Beatrice "Gunny Granny" Middleton. Spidercises are spooky sweet. So, if you old ladies have veins that are sore to your eyes, why not reduce them with some Spidercise!
Beatrice: Oh no, darn vericose veins again! They're getting to me, honey. Its time for my Spidercise.
Bryant: Spidercise? What's that? Is this some sort of crazy granny workout I don't know about?
Beatrice: Sure! Its a set of exercises that shrink Spider Veins. (she puts her hand on her spiders) You see? You massage the muscles around your spider veins with several different motions. And that shrinks them.
Morris: Does it really work? Could I try it, too? There's a vein in my wrist that shows up pretty far.
Beatrice: Sure, sweetheart. (she puts her hand on Morris' inner wrist) You just press and release and then you press again. Do you feel it burn?
Morris: Oh yeah, that burns all right. Its working, Momma.
Midge: Here, let me into this. I've got a weak vein in my arm.
Beatrice: Well, just pump up and down on it. That will stretch it. I tell you, Spidercises work! If you're an old Gunny Granny like me, they tone those veins right up! They rock!
Bryant: Spidercise? What's that? Is this some sort of crazy granny workout I don't know about?
Beatrice: Sure! Its a set of exercises that shrink Spider Veins. (she puts her hand on her spiders) You see? You massage the muscles around your spider veins with several different motions. And that shrinks them.
Morris: Does it really work? Could I try it, too? There's a vein in my wrist that shows up pretty far.
Beatrice: Sure, sweetheart. (she puts her hand on Morris' inner wrist) You just press and release and then you press again. Do you feel it burn?
Morris: Oh yeah, that burns all right. Its working, Momma.
Midge: Here, let me into this. I've got a weak vein in my arm.
Beatrice: Well, just pump up and down on it. That will stretch it. I tell you, Spidercises work! If you're an old Gunny Granny like me, they tone those veins right up! They rock!
by Dusty's Baby Powder December 27, 2011
Get the Spidercisemug. A disease very similar to Middletons' Disease only much worse. This disease is suffered by Beatrice Middleton when she wants to play with the kids, but they aren't there. It is also commonly seen in the Middletons' pet dog, Bumper, when he wants to play. When she gets Gunny Granny Flu Beatrice is often stuck in the house and is very lonely. It is cured by intense workouts and other treatments such as massages. So if you love the comic strip 'The Middletons', be careful - you might get Middletons' Disease and the Gunny Granny Flu.
Bumper: Uh oh, its school time again. I bet Miss Beatrice will have the Gunny Granny Flu.
Rusty: She sure will! Its tough when the kids are in school. Crazy fall time.
Beatrice: Yes, it is crazy around this time. But think of it this way: you get to spend all your time with me. Isn't that sweet? (She reaches for a Martian Mud and rubs it into Bumper's fur)
Bumper: Thank you! That's better. Now I've got the Gunny Granny Flu. What else can we do?
Rusty: Well, I know she likes to stretch. How about we stretch each other? (Bumper and Rusty start stretching on each other)
Beatrice: Yes, that's it. You two know how to make a Gunny Granny feel better. Now how about a game of fetch? (she throws a tennis ball to Rusty)
Bumper and Rusty: Poor Beatrice! She doesn't know what to do. I guess the Gunny Granny Flu will never end. Its just so sad.
Rusty: She sure will! Its tough when the kids are in school. Crazy fall time.
Beatrice: Yes, it is crazy around this time. But think of it this way: you get to spend all your time with me. Isn't that sweet? (She reaches for a Martian Mud and rubs it into Bumper's fur)
Bumper: Thank you! That's better. Now I've got the Gunny Granny Flu. What else can we do?
Rusty: Well, I know she likes to stretch. How about we stretch each other? (Bumper and Rusty start stretching on each other)
Beatrice: Yes, that's it. You two know how to make a Gunny Granny feel better. Now how about a game of fetch? (she throws a tennis ball to Rusty)
Bumper and Rusty: Poor Beatrice! She doesn't know what to do. I guess the Gunny Granny Flu will never end. Its just so sad.
by Dusty's Baby Powder September 13, 2011
Get the Gunny Granny Flumug. A disco dance created by Beatrice Middleton. It was named this because she always wears a blue bathrobe at night. The song most notably played when dancing it is 'Disco Duck' by Rick Dees. Her friends often dance this with her.
Beatrice: ('Disco Duck' has just started playing) Oh no, I feel Blue Beatrice coming on!
Flo: Uh oh, I remember when you used to dance that! Well, at least you used to .
Beatrice: Well, let's his the dance floor. This is gonna go wild!
Mary: (like the Bay City Rollers) B-L-U-E B-E-A-T-R-I-C-E!! Keep on dancin' to the rock and roll. It's a Blue Beatrice night! It's a Blue Beatrice night!
Flo and Beatrice: Mary, are you crazy!? This is going to hit like a hurricane!
Mary: Right on! The Blue Beatrice is going to smash like a wave!
Flo: Uh oh, I remember when you used to dance that! Well, at least you used to .
Beatrice: Well, let's his the dance floor. This is gonna go wild!
Mary: (like the Bay City Rollers) B-L-U-E B-E-A-T-R-I-C-E!! Keep on dancin' to the rock and roll. It's a Blue Beatrice night! It's a Blue Beatrice night!
Flo and Beatrice: Mary, are you crazy!? This is going to hit like a hurricane!
Mary: Right on! The Blue Beatrice is going to smash like a wave!
by Dusty's Baby Powder January 26, 2011
Get the Blue Beatricemug. A condition of falling asleep while watching TV. Most often seen when a boring show has just ended. It is most often found in Ben Hatley but also is seen in his wife, Olivia. They don't watch TV together much because of this. It is intensely hard to treat.
Ben: Hey Liv, I think 'Bodies in Motion' is on the TV. Want to watch it?
Liv: Sure, but we'll probably end up sleep watching.
Gilad: No you won't!! If you're gonna watch me you better do it?
Myrtle: Stupid Rascal, making me stiff like that. Maybe this will help.
Ralph: Count me in too, I need a workout.
Necky: You know, this is cool. I used to watch this when it was on before. Great workout.
Gil: (laughing at Necky) Did you like it?
Necky: Yes, I did. Used to do it when I was in the Marines. (gives a salute and screams 'Hoorah!')
(Ben and Liv start stretching on each other. Gil is laughing at Ben and Liv.)
Beatrice: Ten hut!!! One, two, three, four, you'd better work yourself some more!
Ben: (yawn) I knew we'd end up sleep watching. This is tough!
Liv: Sure, but we'll probably end up sleep watching.
Gilad: No you won't!! If you're gonna watch me you better do it?
Myrtle: Stupid Rascal, making me stiff like that. Maybe this will help.
Ralph: Count me in too, I need a workout.
Necky: You know, this is cool. I used to watch this when it was on before. Great workout.
Gil: (laughing at Necky) Did you like it?
Necky: Yes, I did. Used to do it when I was in the Marines. (gives a salute and screams 'Hoorah!')
(Ben and Liv start stretching on each other. Gil is laughing at Ben and Liv.)
Beatrice: Ten hut!!! One, two, three, four, you'd better work yourself some more!
Ben: (yawn) I knew we'd end up sleep watching. This is tough!
by Dusty's Baby Powder March 23, 2011
Get the Sleep Watchingmug. The condition of having used coco butter and honey lotion. Often given in the form of a massage or beauty treatment. This is most notably seen in Opal Crankshaft, but has also been seen in others, such as her husband, Earl.
Opal: Just look at your hands. They're like a snake.
Earl: Yeah, maybe I need to be honeyhanded.
Opal: Yeah, you should try that lotion we always use. It has honey in it.
Earl: Well, I didn't like it at first. But maybe I should try it again.
Opal: Here, sweetie, I'll honey your hands for you!
Earl: Yeah, maybe I need to be honeyhanded.
Opal: Yeah, you should try that lotion we always use. It has honey in it.
Earl: Well, I didn't like it at first. But maybe I should try it again.
Opal: Here, sweetie, I'll honey your hands for you!
by Dusty's Baby Powder November 29, 2010
Get the Honeyhandedmug. Intense love for Amos and Martha Halftrack. Shown most notably by Bryant Hollifield. One major symptom of Halftrack Fever is going crazy when Marty is seen in a bathrobe or when Amos wears his uniform. This is an intense disease. The only way it can be cured is loving them even more.
Marty: Have a nice day, dear. Hope you don't get Halftrack Fever!
Amos: Oh, put your robe on. I've already got Halftrack Fever.
Marty: (kisses Amos) I know. You've had it for 53 years. There's something about me you love.
Bryant: Its the robe. He loves it when you wear that thing! Even I do. See, there's magic in that thing.
Amos: Yes, you definitely have Halftrack Fever. You can't get enough of Grandma Marty in that robe. Or me in my army suit here. (he leaves)
Bryant: Hey, you want to get all cuddly? This Halftrack Fever is really working now.
Marty: Sure! We'll cuddle all day, honey. Amos is completely gone now. (she kisses Bryant) There's just something about me and you that I love. And its not just the robe. Its the Halftrack Fever. Gooey, sweet, cuddly. You rock!
Amos: Oh, put your robe on. I've already got Halftrack Fever.
Marty: (kisses Amos) I know. You've had it for 53 years. There's something about me you love.
Bryant: Its the robe. He loves it when you wear that thing! Even I do. See, there's magic in that thing.
Amos: Yes, you definitely have Halftrack Fever. You can't get enough of Grandma Marty in that robe. Or me in my army suit here. (he leaves)
Bryant: Hey, you want to get all cuddly? This Halftrack Fever is really working now.
Marty: Sure! We'll cuddle all day, honey. Amos is completely gone now. (she kisses Bryant) There's just something about me and you that I love. And its not just the robe. Its the Halftrack Fever. Gooey, sweet, cuddly. You rock!
by Dusty's Baby Powder November 02, 2011
Get the Halftrack Fevermug. The sight of seeing SFC. Orville P. Snorkle in sneakers, which he hardly ever wears. He was recently seen in sneakers on October 7, 2011 getting ready to play tennis with Pvt. Beetle Bailey. Swampy Sneaks are very hard to spot but Sarge, as he is known, is the most frequent wearer of them. The other guys don't often wear them. If you want to see something sweet, catch Sgt. Snorkle in his Swampy Sneaks!
Orville: Hey Stainy, how about some tennis? I got my Swampy Sneak!
Stainy: You're on! Bet I'll beat you. Nothing beats a good game of tennis. Sweet Jesus!
Orville: (he lifts his foot up to show Stainy the sneaker) Check this out, size 15! Great traction, comfy as all get out! These babies make me the king of the swamp.
Stainy: (yelling) Hold on, wait till you see mine. I drew a picture of Mary on these. Sweet! (they start playing tennis)
Orville: Well, that's 15-Love. I'm ready for you anytime, night or day! (they start chasing each other back and forth hitting the tennis ball)
Stainy: Match point! Look out, I'm gonna get this. (he hits the ball so hard it gets Orville on the foot) Take that! Right on the Swampy Sneak.
Orville: Good one! You beat me, I admit it. But, aren't these Swampy Sneaks fun to wear? Pretty snazzy, huh?
Stainy: You're on! Bet I'll beat you. Nothing beats a good game of tennis. Sweet Jesus!
Orville: (he lifts his foot up to show Stainy the sneaker) Check this out, size 15! Great traction, comfy as all get out! These babies make me the king of the swamp.
Stainy: (yelling) Hold on, wait till you see mine. I drew a picture of Mary on these. Sweet! (they start playing tennis)
Orville: Well, that's 15-Love. I'm ready for you anytime, night or day! (they start chasing each other back and forth hitting the tennis ball)
Stainy: Match point! Look out, I'm gonna get this. (he hits the ball so hard it gets Orville on the foot) Take that! Right on the Swampy Sneak.
Orville: Good one! You beat me, I admit it. But, aren't these Swampy Sneaks fun to wear? Pretty snazzy, huh?
by Dusty's Baby Powder October 14, 2011
Get the Swampy Sneakmug.