docker's omelette

a lump of phlegm.

"What's for dinner today?" asked Saddam.
"Just a docker's omelette until you tell us where you have hidden those WMDs" replied his CIA interrogator malevolently.

by Dunky Oggins December 23, 2003

get some cold comfort

To have sexual relations with a corpse.

Poor old Alec, he got sacked from his new job at the undertakers when the boss caught him getting some cold comfort.

by Dunky Oggins January 09, 2004

funky dunky

A condom that is flavoured and/or brightly coloured.

Britney wouldn't let me fuck her coz i didn't have a funky dunky with me.

by Dunky Oggins December 07, 2003

pocket pleaser

A small sex toy (vibrator) used by women.

Thatcher faced public derision when she dropped her handbag during the Remembrance Day service and out fell her pocket pleaser.

by Dunky Oggins November 20, 2003

blood sports

Cunnilinctus performed on a menstruating woman

"Phillip, now that fox hunting is illegal, let's stay in this afternoon for some blood sports" said Elizabeth with a twinkle in her eye.

by Dunky Oggins December 10, 2003

parallel parking

sexual intercourse

June was in a bad mood: she wanted some parallel parking with Alec, but he had a headache.

by Dunky Oggins November 10, 2003

mars bar

Excrement, or pertaining to defecation.

I'm just going to the toilet to do a mars bar.

by Dunky Oggins November 22, 2003