docker's omelette

a lump of phlegm.
"What's for dinner today?" asked Saddam.
"Just a docker's omelette until you tell us where you have hidden those WMDs" replied his CIA interrogator malevolently.
by Dunky Oggins December 23, 2003
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get some cold comfort

To have sexual relations with a corpse.
Poor old Alec, he got sacked from his new job at the undertakers when the boss caught him getting some cold comfort.
by Dunky Oggins January 09, 2004
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parallel parking

June was in a bad mood: she wanted some parallel parking with Alec, but he had a headache.
by Dunky Oggins November 10, 2003
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mars bar

by Dunky Oggins November 22, 2003
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blood sports

"Phillip, now that fox hunting is illegal, let's stay in this afternoon for some blood sports" said Elizabeth with a twinkle in her eye.
by Dunky Oggins December 10, 2003
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liquid fart

involuntarily passing runny faeces whilst breaking wind, often the precursor to a ringburner.
"That's the last time i wash your y-fronts Phillip", said Elizabeth angrily, "you keep doing those dreadful liquid farts."
by Dunky Oggins November 19, 2003
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whack the one-eyed worm

Dave got so excited watching the Hammerettes he had to rush off at half-time and whack the one-eyed worm.
by Dunky Oggins November 25, 2003
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