Douchbag Steve's definitions

Klingon Shitfly

An overbearing Star Trek fan's attempt to be humorous by labeling a common ordinary but unattractive or scary looking insect, such an assassin bug or a boxelder bug.

(Pitch voice very low and speak in a slow cadence.) Sir. It is a Klingon shitfly.

by Douchbag Steve August 31, 2019

Semenalia

Collectibles, antiques, crafts, and items of interest that are somehow associated with seminal fluid, ejaculation, or the pure joy of jacking off.

That cum rag that you leave under your mattress is disgusting semenalia.

by Douchbag Steve September 19, 2019

feeling some type of way

An illiterate and inarticulate millennial's attempt to convey strong feelings, but who lacks any vocabulary or language skills for doing so, so a catchall phrase from a popular song is used instead. Usually the emotion being conveyed is love, lust, or annoyance, or a mixture of these. But it is generally impossible to understand the specific sensation being described without further research. The only practical way to extract the emotion intended is to have the individual write (in emojis) or illustrate the thought with an image meme.

He has you feeling some type of way. - IKR?

by Douchbag Steve July 8, 2019

ion

A message board or instant message substitute for "I don't" or "I won't". Essentially the person writing or speaking is declaring a negative intention within the following sentence. It's a lazy contraction that leaves out consonants. First seen on the tagged.com site in 2020. Has absolutely nothing to do with atomic particles or electrical charges.

Ion care about your feelings.

by Douchbag Steve February 13, 2021

Spurting Goods

The supplies required by a serious masturbation artist. This includes cleaning supplies such as handwipes, towelettes, and hand sanitizer; as well as highly arousing pornographic or other cultural materials, including but not limited to hentai, hand drawn illustrations, photos, magazines, streamed media, or pirated porn.

Jim wanted to beat his meat but he lacked the necessary spurting goods, so he remained unsatisfied and engorged.

by Douchbag Steve July 31, 2018

Ejaculadore

A matador (bullfighting athlete) who is concerned with defense from stray semen emissions. He waves a modified bullfighting cape that has a bullseye printed on it, taunting his nemesis to dare to spray.

The ejaculadore certainly protected the audience in the front row from that stray cumshot!

by Douchbag Steve September 19, 2019

Freelance Copywriting

Freelance copywriting is a supposed business opportunity that is actually a scam of a cottage industry, promoted heavily by certain self anointed gurus and companies who claim that any English major can earn a hedge fund manager's income by going barefoot, living in an RV, and posing for selfies on a beach. Freelance copywriting is actually a way to siphon 401K and IRA savings off of early retirees looking for a second career, for pointless trainings, coaching, "intensives" and "boot camps" that are traffic jams of hungry suckers all looking for a break they'll never get.

That wanna be freelance copywriting student is a sucker! He just paid the "Institute" his last $23,000 for a membership to a bunch of useless online videos, and access to interns who will pretend that they are top copywriter mentors. He lives in a homeless shelter and tries to write product descriptions for $1 apiece.

by Douchbag Steve July 9, 2019