Definitions by Dick Onchin
Velcro Nugs
Little nuggets of shit that cling to one’s ass hairs making a post-shit wipe job a seemingly endless effort.
Velcro Nugs by Dick Onchin December 2, 2021
Hamburger Holer
A male with a long, girthy cock that anally pounds with such vigor your ass is rendered like raw meat. Prolapse is not uncommon. Makes mincemeat out of that ass.
My Grindr date turned out to be a hamburger holer. I’m like steak tartare down there. I can’t sit.
It’s thanksgiving so my uncle will be coming for the weekend. He’s a hamburger holer and will come visit me about midnight. I walked funny for a week.
It’s thanksgiving so my uncle will be coming for the weekend. He’s a hamburger holer and will come visit me about midnight. I walked funny for a week.
Hamburger Holer by Dick Onchin November 23, 2021
Ambiwankerous
A talented masturbator who is able to use the right and left hands equally well while rubbing one out or flicking the bean.
As a teenager, Roger quickly learned he was ambiwankerous. He was able to toss off with no proclivity for either hand.
Raina spent the entire day on the couch watching Lifetime and flicking her bean. Her ambiwankerous abilities left her engorged and satiated and the couch soaked in squirt.
Raina spent the entire day on the couch watching Lifetime and flicking her bean. Her ambiwankerous abilities left her engorged and satiated and the couch soaked in squirt.
Ambiwankerous by Dick Onchin November 18, 2021
Bang Daddy
A male that satisfies only the physical, sexual needs of a female or male. No emotional or domestic relations. Sex only.
My bean is aching. Imma go see my bang daddy and get railed tonight.
My bang daddy clapped my cheeks then called me an Uber.
As soon as his wife leaves for work my bang daddy calls.
My bang daddy clapped my cheeks then called me an Uber.
As soon as his wife leaves for work my bang daddy calls.
Bang Daddy by Dick Onchin November 10, 2021
Dead Dick Divorce
When a wife is trapped in a sexless marriage and her sexual needs met through extramarital affairs with one ore more lovers but she remains married with her dead dicked husband. Usually due to his money, children, lifestyle, social or political status or convenience.
Although Ken and Barbara have been married for 30 years, Barb got a dead dick divorce and has been whoring around for 20 of them. Ken’s money keeps her around.
Dead Dick Divorce by Dick Onchin November 8, 2021
Slap Pocket
I ate her meaty curtains on her slap pocket.
My cousin was on the rag on Thanksgiving so I couldn’t hit her slap pocket during half time. So I had to settle for a vigorous handy in the bathroom.
I was elbow deep in her slap pocket when her uncle walked in on us. Next thing I know I got a forearm working it’s way up my own slap pocket.
I could hear my old man working my moms slap pocket last night.
He was so big he stretched my slap pocket and I was gaping.
My cousin was on the rag on Thanksgiving so I couldn’t hit her slap pocket during half time. So I had to settle for a vigorous handy in the bathroom.
I was elbow deep in her slap pocket when her uncle walked in on us. Next thing I know I got a forearm working it’s way up my own slap pocket.
I could hear my old man working my moms slap pocket last night.
He was so big he stretched my slap pocket and I was gaping.
Slap Pocket by Dick Onchin November 3, 2021
Coffee Talk
1. Chatting or gossiping with one or more persons while enjoying a piping hot cup of coffee.
2. The deep inner rumbling of the bowels that conveys an impending trip to the toilet by saying “We are about to blow!”Coffee talk commences about an hour or two after sucking down a few cups of the morning Joe.
2. The deep inner rumbling of the bowels that conveys an impending trip to the toilet by saying “We are about to blow!”Coffee talk commences about an hour or two after sucking down a few cups of the morning Joe.
Raylynn shared with me her first lesbian experience during our coffee talk. It was so hot I had to flick the bean when I got home.
My morning was sailing along perfectly until about 9:30 when the coffee talk hit. I was squeezing cheeks all the way to the shitter and barely made it before the morning’s mocha Java came pouring out.
My morning was sailing along perfectly until about 9:30 when the coffee talk hit. I was squeezing cheeks all the way to the shitter and barely made it before the morning’s mocha Java came pouring out.
Coffee Talk by Dick Onchin November 3, 2021