Definitions by Dick Onchin
French Mint
Her French Mint breath made me gag but I made out with her anyway.
I’ve got a meeting with a new client so I better pop a French Mint.
I’ve got a meeting with a new client so I better pop a French Mint.
French Mint by Dick Onchin October 15, 2026
Porcelain Beef
Dropping an off a fat turd in the shitter and not flushing thus leaving your masterpiece for all to enjoy.
Sanjay left porcelain beef in the executive wash room. Desiring an unobstructed view of his rectal masterpiece, he refused to wipe and his ass itched the rest of the day.
Porcelain Beef by Dick Onchin October 15, 2026
Mexican Flap Dance
After giving her a leg shaking, gut rearranging pounding, you open a cold cerveza, put on Mexican folk song Cielito Lindo, and sing along as she melodically queefs to the chorus of Ay Ay Ay Ay!
Oh baby that was so good. Imma crack me a cerveza. Slips in mamacita's mexican folk song CD playing Cielito Lindo. Sing along baby and let that Mexican Flap Dance. Ay Ay Ay Ay! (Queefing like a queen). That's it baby queef, queef, queef, queef! Canta y no llores.
Mexican Flap Dance by Dick Onchin July 14, 2026
Merlin’s Beard
A male that shaves his entire pubic region except for the hair on the scrotum. Allowing said hair to grow unfettered with a this bearded appearance.
As I approached him to feast upon his quivering rusty sheriff’s badge, his low hanging sack told the tale of one sporting Merlin’s Beard.
She refused to keep sucking my balls after my Merlin’s Beard gave her a hair ball and she cough-gag-retched like an old Persian cat.
She refused to keep sucking my balls after my Merlin’s Beard gave her a hair ball and she cough-gag-retched like an old Persian cat.
Merlin’s Beard by Dick Onchin May 27, 2026
Steamed Beef
A freshly dropped turn in the toilet as a result of one's daily constitutional or a strategically laid turn to achieve some other mischievous purpose and not solely to relieve one's bowels.
I will be back in a few. I am brewing up some steamed beef and need to pinch one off before this next meeting.
To my surprise, I walked in to my room and found that my room mate left a little steamed beef on my pillow as a reminder that rent it due.
To my surprise, I walked in to my room and found that my room mate left a little steamed beef on my pillow as a reminder that rent it due.
Steamed Beef by Dick Onchin March 2, 2026
Denture Adventure
Bro ever since I got this night job at the geriatric center, every shift is a denture adventure.
Hey bruhhh gotta tell ya your gammy was a denture adventure but she finally popped them out for me last night.
Bro why do you always go to bingo nights? Oh braaaahhh it’s a true denture adventure. I hit bingo last time and had my other balls pulled with a skin to skin gummy from the reigning champion in the back of my Prius.
Hey bruhhh gotta tell ya your gammy was a denture adventure but she finally popped them out for me last night.
Bro why do you always go to bingo nights? Oh braaaahhh it’s a true denture adventure. I hit bingo last time and had my other balls pulled with a skin to skin gummy from the reigning champion in the back of my Prius.
Denture Adventure by Dick Onchin January 31, 2026
Wet Meat Tube
The vagina.
My wet meat tube stanks.
He pounds my wet meat tube nightly.
My uncle says my wet meat tube is better than my mom’s.
He pounds my wet meat tube nightly.
My uncle says my wet meat tube is better than my mom’s.
Wet Meat Tube by Dick Onchin November 25, 2025