Dick Onchin's definitions
A cleanly pinched turd. Pinched at the peak of ripeness flowing like a breeze out the bunghole leaving no fecal remnants. Hallmarked by the one swipe wipe.
I was running late this morning so I made up a little time when I had a perfect squat.
Man the dude in the stall next to me clearly has a perfect squat. I heard the splash and one wipe. I spent over 20 minutes trying clean my mud butt from that toothpaste turd I squirted out.
Man the dude in the stall next to me clearly has a perfect squat. I heard the splash and one wipe. I spent over 20 minutes trying clean my mud butt from that toothpaste turd I squirted out.
by Dick Onchin November 8, 2020
Get the Perfect Squatmug. Jerome was talking trash the whole game so I snuck into the locker room and left him a Texas doggie bag.
Sydney is such a riotous cunt so three of us gave her a Texas doggie bag.
Sydney is such a riotous cunt so three of us gave her a Texas doggie bag.
by Dick Onchin October 2, 2020
Get the Texas Doggie Bagmug. When the rectum is pulled out in a prolapse and remains wrapped around the penis. This occurs as result of a serious anal pounding. If pounding is vigorous and continues despite prolapse, it may be plunged in and out of the anal cavity repeatedly. Also known as a pink sock by the lesser refined.
I pounded my girlfriend's ass so hard, when I pulled out, I had a pretty pink condom! But I wasn’t done so I pounded it in and out until I busted all up in them intestines.
by Dick Onchin September 29, 2020
Get the Pink Condommug. A vigorous, dick burning blow job received behind a local Circle K market from a Mexican prostitute that just polished off a fiesta sized package of Takis and a 32 oz. Mountain Dew.
My knob is still feeling the effects of that Scottsdale burner last night.
My girlfriend told me I needed to lay off the takis cause my cock tasted a little fuego. I need to clean up better after those after work Scottsdale burners.
My girlfriend told me I needed to lay off the takis cause my cock tasted a little fuego. I need to clean up better after those after work Scottsdale burners.
by Dick Onchin January 6, 2023
Get the Scottsdale Burnermug. Using one’s own sock or socks to wash and wipe the asshole after dropping a horrifically mud butt style shit or accidentally shitting oneself and there is no toilet paper or other tissue.
A Texas wet wipe is used out of absolute necessity and desperation.
The sock or socks are removed and are made thoroughly wet and moist in the sink (if available) and the ass is cleansed accordingly. The socks must always be disposed of or better yet, just left behind on the floor. Never flushed.
A Texas wet wipe is used out of absolute necessity and desperation.
The sock or socks are removed and are made thoroughly wet and moist in the sink (if available) and the ass is cleansed accordingly. The socks must always be disposed of or better yet, just left behind on the floor. Never flushed.
After spending the entire day drinking beer and eating hot wings, I headed home. After about a mile, I felt the gut bubblies. Hoping to release some pressure, I unloaded what I thought was a massive fart but ended up shitting my pants. I spotted a gas station on the corner and quickly headed to the shitter. I waddled to the door praying the steamy, oozing, wet lump would not slide any further down my leg. I made it to the stall only to find there was no toilet paper or paper towels. I slipped off both socks knowing a Texas wet wipe was my only alternative. I moistened them in the sink and then I slid the cold, wet socks up and down my ass crack like dental floss cleaning what had to look like the field at a tractor pull and a rooster’s tail when it came out. I got it as clean as I could get it and at least enough to not itch too much before I got home, I tossed my socks in the corner and slipped my boots back on and headed on my way.
by Dick Onchin November 3, 2020
Get the Texas Wet Wipemug. A male that’s a daily marathon wanker. Masturbates feverishly, multiple times a day to the point of unloading every drop of available nut and leaving an aching dry bag. May result in a glistening bead.
Very common amongst horny teens, homebound workers during the Covid crisis and the porn addicted.
Very common amongst horny teens, homebound workers during the Covid crisis and the porn addicted.
My old roommate was a dry bagger. He would wank about a dozen times a day to ladyboy porn then bitch about his ballsack aching.
by Dick Onchin August 11, 2020
Get the Dry Baggermug. Blowing a load of jizz so copious and thick that you (and your partner if engaged in coital acts) are in complete wonder and amazement as to how that amount of cum could possibly have been blown from your nuts.
She was giving me sloppy top like never before. She had my toes curled when all the sudden I dropped a wonder nut. With Dick in mouth, her cheeks puffed, her eyes watered and she tried to swallow but it just kept pumping. She was gagging like a baby eating carrots and it was running down her chin.
by Dick Onchin November 18, 2020
Get the Wonder Nutmug.