Dharma Midget's definitions
A bruise, in the shape of a mushroom, obtained by being slapped with a large penis or penis-like object.
"Dude, I can't believe you goin' out with the new girl from accounting!"
"I'm gonna mushroom-bruise her ass, just for you. Just watch -- she won't be sittin' straight for a week."
"I'm gonna mushroom-bruise her ass, just for you. Just watch -- she won't be sittin' straight for a week."
by Dharma Midget September 7, 2016
Get the mushroom-bruisemug. Sharing semen, usually by spitting it from one mouth to another. So named for the raw egg texture of a load of cum.
I don't know how to feel about my girlfriend -- she wants to egg swap after I fuck her in the ass and go shrimpin'.
by Dharma Midget October 20, 2016
Get the egg swapmug. Someone who has frequent sex, with anyone who will stoop low enough to fuck them, regardless of physical appearance and/or hygiene.
"So I heard you're dating that new waitress..."
"Yeah, why?"
"Dude, she's a doorknob -- everyone gets a turn. I tagged her twice last month. I saw your dad coming out of her apartment yesterday."
"Yeah, why?"
"Dude, she's a doorknob -- everyone gets a turn. I tagged her twice last month. I saw your dad coming out of her apartment yesterday."
by Dharma Midget July 2, 2016
Get the doorknobmug. Combines scum and Trump. Perfect description for the sack of shot in the White House as well as his sycophantic followers.
There was a real scrump in the store yesterday -- Donald Trump shirt and everything. I think the scumbag left a slime trail behind him.
by Dharma Midget April 18, 2018
Get the Scrumpmug. A dismissive way to answer someone annoying you for help, or just to be an asshole. Especially useful at work.
"Where can I find the foot-long dildos?" "Up your ass & to the left."
"Did you get that memo from the staff meeting?" "Yeah, it's up your ass & to the left."
"Did you get that memo from the staff meeting?" "Yeah, it's up your ass & to the left."
by Dharma Midget December 16, 2019
Get the up your ass & to the leftmug. Any hole, crack, fold, or flap on a woman's body other than her vagina. Since premarital sex is forbidden for Joseph Smith sycophants, they will often use the rationalization that only penis + vagina = sex, and anything else is fair game.
Betty didn't want to upset Baby Jesus, so she would only let her boyfriend put his penis a Mormon hole -- he liked her mouth and armpit best.
by Dharma Midget May 8, 2017
Get the Mormon holemug. "Girl, get out the plastic sheets, I'm gonna pooh you so damn hard tonight..."
"He wants me to pooh him, but I don't think the relationship is ready for that yet."
"He wants me to pooh him, but I don't think the relationship is ready for that yet."
by Dharma Midget March 18, 2017
Get the poohmug.