David Cowpell Downtrodden's definitions

bovinity

The absolute antithesis of sincere behaviour in human form. Namely executed in completely nonsensical and ridiculous taskmaking within the workplace, encouraging the widest possible deviation from the direct route of A to B (via Z). Also an adequate description of idiotic juvenile behaviour (the like last seen in the playground) carried out by a grown woman/beast.

"Could you immediately fill out five forms in triplicate for the next toilet paper order?"
"Yes! In the name of insane bovinity, I shall! (Ya fat heifer)."

by David Cowpell Downtrodden March 26, 2004

super duper saturday

When, even though you are forced to work a Saturday, the day is exempt from bovinity by the abscence of bovates and is filled with coffee, breaks, chat, surfing, crosswords, croissants,papers and fun.

"I hate working bloody Saturdays!"
"Yes, don't we all but it is a Super Saturday."
"Hurrah! No Boves!"
"Do you want anything from O'Brien's?"

by David Cowpell Downtrodden September 2, 2004

Hospital Appointment

Ideal chosen excuse for having the morning off work, ideally to attend an interview for a rewarding job. Completely throws any bovate suspicion as hypochondria is accepted as the norm.

"I won't be in 'til 12 today as I have a physio appointment on my dodgy knee."
"Oh okay. I hope you feel better afterwards."
"Oh I will, you bove. I will. Lie-ins are truly therapeutic."

by David Cowpell Downtrodden September 2, 2004

Crispin

Larger species of greying elf found grazing in areas of dense literature. Believed to survive predominantly on crime novels, which it consumes leaving only traces of a brittle, crisp-like substance as evidence of its existence. Crispin-catching emerged as a popular pastime during the 1830's, but the practice is now obsolete. Historians have recently questioned the validity of crispin sightings, and indeed they are now generally regarded as mythical creatures by the majority of the populus, believed in only by crazed booksellers who have recently been Dowled.

"Quick carruthers! Fetch the rifle or indeed the dustpan and brush! I believe I have a crispin in my sights!"

by David Cowpell Downtrodden October 1, 2004

OWL

Middle-aged, nouveau riche, stuck up woman - found predominantely in the shopping centres of Western Europe. 10 years ago they would have been a humble but worthwhile housewife, now they are obnoxious, soulless demons, living only for their next golden purchase - trampling all in their path.
A horrible product of capitalism and god only knows how their twisted offspring will turn out. It may be time to head for the hills.

"Give me that. Get this for me. I haven't got all day. Oh it is terrible. The world revolves around me you know."
"You ridiculous owl. You are a disgusting travesty. Your manners are atrocious and your predictability makes me want to vomit. Farewell."

by DAvid Cowpell Downtrodden September 12, 2004

paprika

a complete and utter prick. there is none other more prickular on the face of the planet. Comprendez?

"Alan stole his cousin's car and got pulled over drunk whilst delivering four stolen tellys to his mate's gaff, like a complete paprika."

by David Cowpell Downtrodden March 26, 2004

Mama Red Cap

Almost human creature that beetles around Rathmines wearing a red cap, talking loudly to it's selves. Hat functions as a beacon for psychotic activity but also makes a fine, fine storage vehicle. Ideal for carrying spuds.

"Mama's red cap is white today."
"Shit! I didn't see the change coming."
"You just aren't street enough."

by David Cowpell Downtrodden September 2, 2004