Definitions by David Cowpell Downtrodden

dowl 

to mumble interminably about any obsolete work of literature out of print since 1878, whilst playing random but worrying flute and writing your life story simultaneously with both hands. Ambidextrous? Fucking crazy.

"Is everything okay? You look pale."
"I don't know. I've just been Dowled, and need to rest my numbed mind."
"Poor unfortunate you. Those rogues are everywhere."

dowl by David Cowpell Downtrodden October 1, 2004

Crispin 

Larger species of greying elf found grazing in areas of dense literature. Believed to survive predominantly on crime novels, which it consumes leaving only traces of a brittle, crisp-like substance as evidence of its existence. Crispin-catching emerged as a popular pastime during the 1830's, but the practice is now obsolete. Historians have recently questioned the validity of crispin sightings, and indeed they are now generally regarded as mythical creatures by the majority of the populus, believed in only by crazed booksellers who have recently been Dowled.

"Quick carruthers! Fetch the rifle or indeed the dustpan and brush! I believe I have a crispin in my sights!"

Crispin by David Cowpell Downtrodden October 1, 2004

FRAGON 

Vehicle for intoxication via the consumption of crushed apple segments combined with varying chemicals and bubbles. Available in can, large can, pint or bottle format.

"Suppin on a big fat spliff full of rocky -
A fragon in me hand, be's makin me feel grand."
(DAMIEN DEMPSEY)

FRAGON by DAvid Cowpell Downtrodden September 12, 2004

OWL 

Middle-aged, nouveau riche, stuck up woman - found predominantely in the shopping centres of Western Europe. 10 years ago they would have been a humble but worthwhile housewife, now they are obnoxious, soulless demons, living only for their next golden purchase - trampling all in their path.
A horrible product of capitalism and god only knows how their twisted offspring will turn out. It may be time to head for the hills.

"Give me that. Get this for me. I haven't got all day. Oh it is terrible. The world revolves around me you know."
"You ridiculous owl. You are a disgusting travesty. Your manners are atrocious and your predictability makes me want to vomit. Farewell."

OWL by DAvid Cowpell Downtrodden September 12, 2004

humperbatch 

One who chooses to bid farewell with a jolting thrust of the groin amid mass confusion and semi hysteria whilst possessed by the spirit of Sir Stephen Hawking.

"It is now time for me to depart."
"Yes. Farewell you fiend."
"Allow me to hump you over the threshold by means of strange familiarity."
"So be it, humperbatch."
"Parting is such sweet sorrow."

humperbatch by David Cowpell Downtrodden September 3, 2004

super duper saturday 

When, even though you are forced to work a Saturday, the day is exempt from bovinity by the abscence of bovates and is filled with coffee, breaks, chat, surfing, crosswords, croissants,papers and fun.

"I hate working bloody Saturdays!"
"Yes, don't we all but it is a Super Saturday."
"Hurrah! No Boves!"
"Do you want anything from O'Brien's?"

super duper saturday by David Cowpell Downtrodden September 2, 2004

bovidence 

potentially hazardous items of foodstuff wrappery that are destined to clash headlong with a bovate's sense of right and wrong. And bring you immense grief for, (wait for it), no apparent sensical reason.

"Did you enjoy that twisty fries and milkshake, oh downtrodden colleague of mine?"
"Yes, it war tres filling, though a little wrong."
"Be sure to hide the bovidence."
"I shall. Thank you for the valuable advice."

bovidence by David Cowpell Downtrodden September 2, 2004