David Cowpell Downtrodden's definitions

OWL

Middle-aged, nouveau riche, stuck up woman - found predominantely in the shopping centres of Western Europe. 10 years ago they would have been a humble but worthwhile housewife, now they are obnoxious, soulless demons, living only for their next golden purchase - trampling all in their path.
A horrible product of capitalism and god only knows how their twisted offspring will turn out. It may be time to head for the hills.

"Give me that. Get this for me. I haven't got all day. Oh it is terrible. The world revolves around me you know."
"You ridiculous owl. You are a disgusting travesty. Your manners are atrocious and your predictability makes me want to vomit. Farewell."

by DAvid Cowpell Downtrodden September 12, 2004

dowl

to mumble interminably about any obsolete work of literature out of print since 1878, whilst playing random but worrying flute and writing your life story simultaneously with both hands. Ambidextrous? Fucking crazy.

"Is everything okay? You look pale."
"I don't know. I've just been Dowled, and need to rest my numbed mind."
"Poor unfortunate you. Those rogues are everywhere."

by David Cowpell Downtrodden October 1, 2004

Rathmines

Portal of absolute lunacy and hotbed of psychotic behaviour. Where dense legions of the disturbed appear, reappear and vanish indiscriminately, hounded by invisible demons and caught eternally between the havens of Ranelagh
and Rathgar, longing to find their way home. "It's under the stairs in the Swan Centre!", I shouted, but to no avail. They just walked through me.

"Does this bus go to Rathmines?"
"No. NO. GOD NO! PLEASE. NOT THAT PLACE. ANYWHERE BUT THAT PLACE! LEAVE NOW. WHILE YOU STILL HAVE A CHANCE. THEY WILL KILL YOU ALL. ALL OF YOU. FLEE! FLEE FOR YOUR DEAR LIVES!"

by David Cowpell Downtrodden September 2, 2004

super duper saturday

When, even though you are forced to work a Saturday, the day is exempt from bovinity by the abscence of bovates and is filled with coffee, breaks, chat, surfing, crosswords, croissants,papers and fun.

"I hate working bloody Saturdays!"
"Yes, don't we all but it is a Super Saturday."
"Hurrah! No Boves!"
"Do you want anything from O'Brien's?"

by David Cowpell Downtrodden September 2, 2004

Hospital Appointment

Ideal chosen excuse for having the morning off work, ideally to attend an interview for a rewarding job. Completely throws any bovate suspicion as hypochondria is accepted as the norm.

"I won't be in 'til 12 today as I have a physio appointment on my dodgy knee."
"Oh okay. I hope you feel better afterwards."
"Oh I will, you bove. I will. Lie-ins are truly therapeutic."

by David Cowpell Downtrodden September 2, 2004

Crispin

Larger species of greying elf found grazing in areas of dense literature. Believed to survive predominantly on crime novels, which it consumes leaving only traces of a brittle, crisp-like substance as evidence of its existence. Crispin-catching emerged as a popular pastime during the 1830's, but the practice is now obsolete. Historians have recently questioned the validity of crispin sightings, and indeed they are now generally regarded as mythical creatures by the majority of the populus, believed in only by crazed booksellers who have recently been Dowled.

"Quick carruthers! Fetch the rifle or indeed the dustpan and brush! I believe I have a crispin in my sights!"

by David Cowpell Downtrodden October 1, 2004

Kyliemore Cafe

Geographical location for varying scientific projects such as, how long can scrambled eggs exist after being reheated 9 times? How many looneys can you fit within four walls? When does madness actually stop, if ever?

"Mmmm. I fancy a load up. Is there a local asylum I might indulge my appetite in?"
"Why yes! Try Kyliemore's. It's hilarious."

by David Cowpell Downtrodden September 2, 2004