David Cowpell Downtrodden's definitions

OWL

Middle-aged, nouveau riche, stuck up woman - found predominantely in the shopping centres of Western Europe. 10 years ago they would have been a humble but worthwhile housewife, now they are obnoxious, soulless demons, living only for their next golden purchase - trampling all in their path.
A horrible product of capitalism and god only knows how their twisted offspring will turn out. It may be time to head for the hills.

"Give me that. Get this for me. I haven't got all day. Oh it is terrible. The world revolves around me you know."
"You ridiculous owl. You are a disgusting travesty. Your manners are atrocious and your predictability makes me want to vomit. Farewell."

by DAvid Cowpell Downtrodden September 12, 2004

Rathmines

Portal of absolute lunacy and hotbed of psychotic behaviour. Where dense legions of the disturbed appear, reappear and vanish indiscriminately, hounded by invisible demons and caught eternally between the havens of Ranelagh
and Rathgar, longing to find their way home. "It's under the stairs in the Swan Centre!", I shouted, but to no avail. They just walked through me.

"Does this bus go to Rathmines?"
"No. NO. GOD NO! PLEASE. NOT THAT PLACE. ANYWHERE BUT THAT PLACE! LEAVE NOW. WHILE YOU STILL HAVE A CHANCE. THEY WILL KILL YOU ALL. ALL OF YOU. FLEE! FLEE FOR YOUR DEAR LIVES!"

by David Cowpell Downtrodden September 2, 2004

Kyliemore Cafe

Geographical location for varying scientific projects such as, how long can scrambled eggs exist after being reheated 9 times? How many looneys can you fit within four walls? When does madness actually stop, if ever?

"Mmmm. I fancy a load up. Is there a local asylum I might indulge my appetite in?"
"Why yes! Try Kyliemore's. It's hilarious."

by David Cowpell Downtrodden September 2, 2004

humperbatch

One who chooses to bid farewell with a jolting thrust of the groin amid mass confusion and semi hysteria whilst possessed by the spirit of Sir Stephen Hawking.

"It is now time for me to depart."
"Yes. Farewell you fiend."
"Allow me to hump you over the threshold by means of strange familiarity."
"So be it, humperbatch."
"Parting is such sweet sorrow."

by David Cowpell Downtrodden September 3, 2004

paprika

a complete and utter prick. there is none other more prickular on the face of the planet. Comprendez?

"Alan stole his cousin's car and got pulled over drunk whilst delivering four stolen tellys to his mate's gaff, like a complete paprika."

by David Cowpell Downtrodden March 26, 2004

Mama Red Cap

Almost human creature that beetles around Rathmines wearing a red cap, talking loudly to it's selves. Hat functions as a beacon for psychotic activity but also makes a fine, fine storage vehicle. Ideal for carrying spuds.

"Mama's red cap is white today."
"Shit! I didn't see the change coming."
"You just aren't street enough."

by David Cowpell Downtrodden September 2, 2004

bovinity

The absolute antithesis of sincere behaviour in human form. Namely executed in completely nonsensical and ridiculous taskmaking within the workplace, encouraging the widest possible deviation from the direct route of A to B (via Z). Also an adequate description of idiotic juvenile behaviour (the like last seen in the playground) carried out by a grown woman/beast.

"Could you immediately fill out five forms in triplicate for the next toilet paper order?"
"Yes! In the name of insane bovinity, I shall! (Ya fat heifer)."

by David Cowpell Downtrodden March 26, 2004