16 definitions by David Cowpell Downtrodden

Larger species of greying elf found grazing in areas of dense literature. Believed to survive predominantly on crime novels, which it consumes leaving only traces of a brittle, crisp-like substance as evidence of its existence. Crispin-catching emerged as a popular pastime during the 1830's, but the practice is now obsolete. Historians have recently questioned the validity of crispin sightings, and indeed they are now generally regarded as mythical creatures by the majority of the populus, believed in only by crazed booksellers who have recently been Dowled.
"Quick carruthers! Fetch the rifle or indeed the dustpan and brush! I believe I have a crispin in my sights!"
by David Cowpell Downtrodden October 1, 2004
Strangely akin to 'morphed' in that the most regular and mild-mannered individual can, in the space of a few hours, turn into a rabid, dribbling fiend, screaming obscenities willy-nilly, controlled by the strings of Arthur Guinness. The act of spending an evening in the company of Vince Murphy of Rathmines. Yeehaw.
"Mattress was locked the other night, man."
"Yeh, he was completely fragonned and controlled by strings."
"Exceedingly Murphed. Oh no, he's coming over..."
"Can ye not do that somewhere else..?"
by David Cowpell Downtrodden September 2, 2004
To drink approximately 20 pints of shtout and to store them indefinitely just above your pelvis in a seventies suit (elastic) whilst sitting on a bench in a catatonic state in Rathmines, eyes barely open, but retaining the fine, ambassadorial persona of a leading eurocrat.
"Look at the state of Franz today!"
"He is surely locked out of this world."
"Decidedly Fischlered."
"Possibly Murphed also."
by David Cowpell Downtrodden September 2, 2004
Almost human creature that beetles around Rathmines wearing a red cap, talking loudly to it's selves. Hat functions as a beacon for psychotic activity but also makes a fine, fine storage vehicle. Ideal for carrying spuds.
"Mama's red cap is white today."
"Shit! I didn't see the change coming."
"You just aren't street enough."
by David Cowpell Downtrodden September 2, 2004
Vehicle for intoxication via the consumption of crushed apple segments combined with varying chemicals and bubbles. Available in can, large can, pint or bottle format.
"Suppin on a big fat spliff full of rocky -
A fragon in me hand, be's makin me feel grand."
by David Cowpell Downtrodden September 12, 2004
Middle-aged, nouveau riche, stuck up woman - found predominantely in the shopping centres of Western Europe. 10 years ago they would have been a humble but worthwhile housewife, now they are obnoxious, soulless demons, living only for their next golden purchase - trampling all in their path.
A horrible product of capitalism and god only knows how their twisted offspring will turn out. It may be time to head for the hills.
"Give me that. Get this for me. I haven't got all day. Oh it is terrible. The world revolves around me you know."
"You ridiculous owl. You are a disgusting travesty. Your manners are atrocious and your predictability makes me want to vomit. Farewell."
by David Cowpell Downtrodden September 12, 2004
When, even though you are forced to work a Saturday, the day is exempt from bovinity by the abscence of bovates and is filled with coffee, breaks, chat, surfing, crosswords, croissants,papers and fun.
"I hate working bloody Saturdays!"
"Yes, don't we all but it is a Super Saturday."
"Hurrah! No Boves!"
"Do you want anything from O'Brien's?"
by David Cowpell Downtrodden September 2, 2004