16 definitions by Dave-Landon

1. When your phone is in a place where it doesn't have service.

2. When your phone has been cut off due to lack-of-phone-bill-pay
Guy 1: Dude, want to go camping?
Guy 2: Sure, but I'm not bringing my cell phone
Guy 1: Why not, bro?
Guy 2: The lake is a dead zone... My phone is an electronic paperweight up there

Guy 1: Brosef, I tried calling you yesterday but it went straight to voicemail... Turn your phone on!
Guy 2: It is on, but I forgot to pay my phone bill. My phone's an electronic paperweight right now
by Dave-Landon May 28, 2011
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When a girl with a yeast infection sits on a guy's face and queefs in his mouth
Guy 1: I was with this chick last night and she queefed on my face.
Guy 2: That's just wrong!
Guy 1: You're telling me, she had a raging yeast infection!
Guy 2: The good old Copenhagen Cheesecake? You know, some guys pay good money for that.
Guy 1: Go home and don't talk to humans no more.
by Dave-Landon December 19, 2018
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1. A special case of dick queef, or dweef, caused by residue from an incomplete ejaculation getting stuck in the urethra, fermenting and building up pressure til it shoots out the end like a stanky ass ball of cottage cheese.

2. The only Christmas present I'm getting for my friend this year
Guy #1: Dude, your cottage dweef just hit me in the eye!
Guy #2: Sorry, I get a little excited while watching Deadpool.
Guy #1: ...I didn't say stop
by Dave-Landon May 11, 2016
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The response to someone who came up with an idea that requires very little thought.
"I just got this wicked idea to mix vodka with coke! I call it... the vodka-coke!"
"Wow bro, don't strain any muscles"
by Dave-Landon October 6, 2016
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Completely and utterly retarded; incompetent.
Moooooom! I'm trying to read and she's drooling Cheerios on me! Moooooom! She's drooling Cheerios!

"Dude, have you met the new guy yet?"
"Yeah, he says portioning nachos is complicated.... He's drooling Cheerios"
by Dave-Landon November 6, 2011
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The measure of the ability to remember things that happened while drunk.
Guy #1: I can't believe you remember that! You were pretty drunk last night!
Guy #2: What can I say? I have excellent drunk retention.
by Dave-Landon August 12, 2012
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When a guy jerks himself off until he cums, but while it's still soft enough to bend it around and cum in his own ass.
Earthworm Jim, he's such a groovy guy
Earthworm Jim, he rockets through this guy
by Dave-Landon November 17, 2018
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