17 definitions by Dave-Landon
1. A special case of dick queef, or dweef, caused by residue from an incomplete ejaculation getting stuck in the urethra, fermenting and building up pressure til it shoots out the end like a stanky ass ball of cottage cheese.
2. The only Christmas present I'm getting for my friend this year
2. The only Christmas present I'm getting for my friend this year
Guy #1: Dude, your cottage dweef just hit me in the eye!
Guy #2: Sorry, I get a little excited while watching Deadpool.
Guy #1: ...I didn't say stop
Guy #2: Sorry, I get a little excited while watching Deadpool.
Guy #1: ...I didn't say stop
by Dave-Landon May 11, 2016
When the girl you've been interested in chooses the most inopportune moment to inform you she has a boyfriend. Often followed by you punching a baby.
Guy: hey man, do you have any extra babies kicking around I can punch?
Guy's wicked awesome female friend: I'll make you a fresh one, under one condition: it has to be a fatal blow. We don't want it surviving said punch. Brb. Got 9 months of work ahead of me.
Guy: If you'd rather not work the full 9 months, I'd be happy to meet you at the top of a flight of stairs.
Guy's wicked awesome female friend: :) you're the best! BTW, what has caused this baby punching tangent?
Guy: Well, I met this super cute girl the other day, and I was just about to tell her I was warm for her form when she dropped the boyfriend bombshell!
Guy's wicked awesome female friend: Harsh, dude! *hands dude a fresh baby*
Guy's wicked awesome female friend: I'll make you a fresh one, under one condition: it has to be a fatal blow. We don't want it surviving said punch. Brb. Got 9 months of work ahead of me.
Guy: If you'd rather not work the full 9 months, I'd be happy to meet you at the top of a flight of stairs.
Guy's wicked awesome female friend: :) you're the best! BTW, what has caused this baby punching tangent?
Guy: Well, I met this super cute girl the other day, and I was just about to tell her I was warm for her form when she dropped the boyfriend bombshell!
Guy's wicked awesome female friend: Harsh, dude! *hands dude a fresh baby*
by Dave-Landon March 31, 2012
When you buttfuck someone, pull out, let their shit harden on your dick, then they give you a blowjob
by Dave-Landon March 24, 2019
The maximum point on your body that you can get a tattoo and still cover it up with clothing for a job interview
"I'm thinking of getting a tattoo on the back of my hand"
"Bad idea, bro. Better to get it below the unemployment line"
"Bad idea, bro. Better to get it below the unemployment line"
by Dave-Landon July 17, 2016
A form of diarrhea characterized by a complete lack of solid, doing nothing but turning the water brown. Bonus points for it being Rielly stinky.
by Dave-Landon September 20, 2023
When an employer, quite often East Indian, accepts an applicant for a job interview by asking him to come in for a trial shift to see if he's worth hiring.
"Hey man, congrats on the new job!"
"Thanks, but I don't have the job yet, just an Indian job interview"
"Thanks, but I don't have the job yet, just an Indian job interview"
by Dave-Landon September 3, 2015
Guy #1: I can't believe you remember that! You were pretty drunk last night!
Guy #2: What can I say? I have excellent drunk retention.
Guy #2: What can I say? I have excellent drunk retention.
by Dave-Landon August 12, 2012