Dave-Landon's definitions

Copenhagen Cheesecake

When a girl with a yeast infection sits on a guy's face and queefs in his mouth

Guy 1: I was with this chick last night and she queefed on my face.
Guy 2: That's just wrong!
Guy 1: You're telling me, she had a raging yeast infection!
Guy 2: The good old Copenhagen Cheesecake? You know, some guys pay good money for that.
Guy 1: Go home and don't talk to humans no more.

by Dave-Landon December 18, 2018

cottage dweef

1. A special case of dick queef, or dweef, caused by residue from an incomplete ejaculation getting stuck in the urethra, fermenting and building up pressure til it shoots out the end like a stanky ass ball of cottage cheese.

2. The only Christmas present I'm getting for my friend this year

Guy #1: Dude, your cottage dweef just hit me in the eye!
Guy #2: Sorry, I get a little excited while watching Deadpool.
Guy #1: ...I didn't say stop

by Dave-Landon May 11, 2016

Earthworm Jim

When a guy jerks himself off until he cums, but while it's still soft enough to bend it around and cum in his own ass.

Earthworm Jim, he's such a groovy guy
Earthworm Jim, he rockets through this guy

by Dave-Landon November 17, 2018

Royale With Cheese

When a guy cums in a girl's hair then uses his cum as hair gel to spike her hair up in the shape of a crown.

What is that, hair gel?
Naah, he gave me a Royale With Cheese.

by Dave-Landon October 20, 2018

liquor store diet

when one forsakes going to the pub for fear of the resulting credit card bill, and instead buys all their booze from the liquor store

I can't believe I'm back at the pub; I'm on a liquor store diet

by Dave-Landon May 1, 2011

boyfriend bombshell

When the girl you've been interested in chooses the most inopportune moment to inform you she has a boyfriend. Often followed by you punching a baby.

Guy: hey man, do you have any extra babies kicking around I can punch?

Guy's wicked awesome female friend: I'll make you a fresh one, under one condition: it has to be a fatal blow. We don't want it surviving said punch. Brb. Got 9 months of work ahead of me.

Guy: If you'd rather not work the full 9 months, I'd be happy to meet you at the top of a flight of stairs.

Guy's wicked awesome female friend: :) you're the best! BTW, what has caused this baby punching tangent?

Guy: Well, I met this super cute girl the other day, and I was just about to tell her I was warm for her form when she dropped the boyfriend bombshell!

Guy's wicked awesome female friend: Harsh, dude! *hands dude a fresh baby*

by Dave-Landon August 20, 2012

Unemployment line

The maximum point on your body that you can get a tattoo and still cover it up with clothing for a job interview

"I'm thinking of getting a tattoo on the back of my hand"
"Bad idea, bro. Better to get it below the unemployment line"

by Dave-Landon July 17, 2016