Definitions by Cunningest Linguist

Tiger Woods 

To get divorced by way of playing 18 holes on the skanky public course when you've got a perfectly good place to use your putter in your own house.

Suddenly, doing the Tiger Woods tour took on a whole new meaning.

Tiger Woods by Cunningest Linguist January 1, 2010

Democrat 

Someone who can take a bad Republican idea and make it worse.

Republican: Let's suspend the Bill of Rights.
Democrat: Great idea! Then, let's mandate everyone to eat their own feces to reduce their individual carbon footprints.

Democrat by Cunningest Linguist August 14, 2008

insurance

A business that involves selling people promises to pay later that are never fulfilled.

Gomer paid flood insurance premium for years, but then the insurer decided to go out of business when the flood came because management had spent all the premium on hookers and private jets.

insurance by Cunningest Linguist August 14, 2008

obama

(v) To make a remarkable political comeback. Named after al Qaeda terrorist founder/US presidential candidate Barack Obama Hussein bin Laden, who went from being the most hated man in America after 9/11 to being elected president of the United States.

It took years, but OJ Simpson was able to obama his way back to respectability.

obama by Cunningest Linguist June 16, 2008

Pahrump 

1. (v) To go to Pahrump, NV in order to visit one of its fine legal brothels.
2. (n) Object that refers to the ass banged while pahrumping.

Da boys decided to go Pahrumping on Sat after loading up on vodka in Vegas.
Man, I gots me a fine piece of Pahrump.

Pahrump by Cunningest Linguist December 13, 2006

posting 

A traditional execution method where a person is lifted onto a sharp stake in the ground and impaled rectally. The body weight slowly causes the person to be further impaled until a vital organ is reached, causing death.

I hereby sentence you, Rosie O'Donnell, to death by posting.

posting by Cunningest Linguist October 2, 2006

paradox 

A pair (i.e. 2) of ducks.

I went to the farm and slaughtered a paradox.

paradox by Cunningest Linguist October 2, 2006