Covido's definitions

Covid-🚽

When the closure of public toilets aimed at minimizing the spread of the coronavirus has a debilitating and degrading effect on people with medical conditions, homeless folks, and parents with young children.

People with irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) feel stressed and miserable due to Covid-🚽—they’re afraid to leave the house when they’re unsure where the nearest open public toilet is.

by Covido January 30, 2021

Covid-🇲🇬

When Madagascar put Africa on the corona map after it claimed to have concocted Covid-Organics, the miracle tonic that can cure the coronavirus, which the WHO refused to recommend unless it has been subject to rigorous testing to prove its effectiveness.

When one of the poorest African countries with a broken health system, which is known for its rich flora and fauna, boldly promoted its Covid-🇲🇬 cure, it’s not surprising that it attracted much laughter and ridicule from the scientific community and the West.

by Covido November 29, 2020

Covid-🧬👁

When a few countries with the capability of developing a Covid-19 vaccine are getting their hackers to spy on each other’s research development of the virus so that they could become the first nation to launch it.

The notorious Covid-🧬👁 perpetrators are Russia, China, North Korea, and Iran, with the US and a few others pretending not to be involved in the dirty spying business.

by Covido November 14, 2020

Covid Pass

A certificate that proves that someone had been corona-vaccinated, which would allow them to travel to many countries without having to quarantine before their departure and after their arrival.

Bob wasn’t allowed to board his flight because he forgot to bring along his Covid pass.

by Covido December 12, 2020

Covid-🚬

When smoking opens up the arteries, which could allegedly help to better fight the viruses in the body, with tobacco companies excited to fund any research that shows that nicotine in controlled amounts is a potential cure to the coronavirus.

Chain smokers are thrilled to hear that Covid-🚬 is their friend rather than their foe in fighting Covid-19.

by Covido December 25, 2020

Politicians’ Epitaphs

The unspoken words invisibly inscribed on the tombstones of famous or notorious political leaders, whose earthly decisions and actions (or inactions) have positively or negatively impacted millions of people when they were the head of state (or even after they had relinquished power).

A leaked document entitled “Politicians’ Epitaphs” from the secret department of a NATO member state has the following printed:

Here lies Vladimir V. Putin with promises of peace—waiting to be canonized by the Orthodox Church.

Here lies Donald J. Trump with no more lies—hoping to be a future Dalai Lama or Pope.

Here lies Kim Jong-un, on transit to join his dad and grandad—in Hades.

Here lies Robert G. Mugabe on reclaimed white land—still in purgatory.

Here lies Harry Lee Kuan Yew—as long as the whites rule the “fine” city.

by Covido April 23, 2022

Covid-🐲

When the spirit of the dragon, a creature worshipped by superstitious mainland Chinese, is demoniacally linked to the coronavirus, which was unprovenly leaked out from a lab in Wuhan, before it spread worldwide—Beijing lied about its initial failure to contain the virus, until whistleblowers informed the world about China’s high number of infections and deaths.

Is there any correlation between Covid-19 and Covid-🐲? How could the dragon, a symbol of power or fertility in Chinese culture, or in Eastern cultures, have anything in common with a symbol of chaos or evil in Western cultures?

by Covido December 13, 2020