Definitions by Charitable Disguise
Polarity Oscillation Orbit
The hyper-accelerating movement of Earth's magnetic north pole due to the increased presence of densely concentrated methane in the atmosphere.
{Since the early 1800's, scientists have tracked the ongoing movement of the magnetic north pole. The Polarity Oscillation Orbit (P.O.O.) was coincidentally discovered by a globally recognized audio engineer, Sir Laramie Todd and his visionary studio lab research colleague, Duke Robert Rite of Dungville. In the early 1990s, Sir Laramie recorded a new orbital sound waveform stemming from low frequency feedback captured in a Duke Rite bass guitar track. Sir Laramie took the clip from the Duke, triangulated the distinct properties related to the frequency, velocity and peaks of the Duke's clip and recognized that feedback patterns were spontaneously and abruptly profound during the Duke's output, specifically after ingesting a Filibertos burrito and flagilating convulsively in the direction of the speaker. Through his unique study, Sir Laramie proved the effects of methane gas on microphone magnetic fields. The Duke hypothesized that too much methane, when interacting with iron, causes polar instability on a grand scale. Thus, P.O.O. was born with the rationale that human overpopulation and the extensive quantity of excrement, causes the north pole to oscillate in a predictable pattern, with velocity and speed influenced by the proportionate concentration of methane in the atmosphere.
{Since the early 1800's, scientists have tracked the ongoing movement of the magnetic north pole. The Polarity Oscillation Orbit (P.O.O.) was coincidentally discovered by a globally recognized audio engineer, Sir Laramie Todd and his visionary studio lab research colleague, Duke Robert Rite of Dungville. In the early 1990s, Sir Laramie recorded a new orbital sound waveform stemming from low frequency feedback captured in a Duke Rite bass guitar track. Sir Laramie took the clip from the Duke, triangulated the distinct properties related to the frequency, velocity and peaks of the Duke's clip and recognized that feedback patterns were spontaneously and abruptly profound during the Duke's output, specifically after ingesting a Filibertos burrito and flagilating convulsively in the direction of the speaker. Through his unique study, Sir Laramie proved the effects of methane gas on microphone magnetic fields. The Duke hypothesized that too much methane, when interacting with iron, causes polar instability on a grand scale. Thus, P.O.O. was born with the rationale that human overpopulation and the extensive quantity of excrement, causes the north pole to oscillate in a predictable pattern, with velocity and speed influenced by the proportionate concentration of methane in the atmosphere.
1. The Polarity Oscillation Orbit is expected to extend into Siberia by 2040.
2. Humans are creating P.O.O. because of their poo.
3. Dude, lets dial in the bottom end of the bass recording today. Go get some Filibertos and prep yourself.
2. Humans are creating P.O.O. because of their poo.
3. Dude, lets dial in the bottom end of the bass recording today. Go get some Filibertos and prep yourself.
Polarity Oscillation Orbit by Charitable Disguise December 23, 2019
Dermal Incineration Event
Irreparable damage to human skin/cellular DNA caused during the era of radical climate change beginning in 1991.
{A progressive term used to characterize the harmful, mutative and disabling effects of global warming on human tissue, wherein hyper-radioactive, electro magnetic waves bombard, eviscerate, and, over extended periods of time, 'incinerate' layers of 'dermis' (skin). The presence of pathology is detectable when cellular membranes become necrotically cauterized, inducing an incurable, desmoplastic form of melanoma. The evidentiary revelation of the Dermal Incineration Event, or D.I.E., (beginning in 1991) was introduced by 'Al Gore Research Institute' scientists; Dr. Johnson Cooks, Professor Patty Meltingood and Dr. Kevin Michael Damone of Ridgemont.}
{A progressive term used to characterize the harmful, mutative and disabling effects of global warming on human tissue, wherein hyper-radioactive, electro magnetic waves bombard, eviscerate, and, over extended periods of time, 'incinerate' layers of 'dermis' (skin). The presence of pathology is detectable when cellular membranes become necrotically cauterized, inducing an incurable, desmoplastic form of melanoma. The evidentiary revelation of the Dermal Incineration Event, or D.I.E., (beginning in 1991) was introduced by 'Al Gore Research Institute' scientists; Dr. Johnson Cooks, Professor Patty Meltingood and Dr. Kevin Michael Damone of Ridgemont.}
1. Many of our neighbors were recently diagnosed with skin cancer as a consequence of the "Dermal Incineration Event."
2. Dr. Kevin Michael Damone gave two Earth Wind and Fire tickets to Charles Jefferson and his brother, then, 9 years later, published his introspective, proprietary, sealed thesis regarding the effects of the "Dermal Incineration Event (D.I.E.)" on the human condition after comparing conclusive data from three prominent subjects, Stacey, Linda and Mark Ratnor, while listening to side 1 of Led Zeppelin IV.
2. Dr. Kevin Michael Damone gave two Earth Wind and Fire tickets to Charles Jefferson and his brother, then, 9 years later, published his introspective, proprietary, sealed thesis regarding the effects of the "Dermal Incineration Event (D.I.E.)" on the human condition after comparing conclusive data from three prominent subjects, Stacey, Linda and Mark Ratnor, while listening to side 1 of Led Zeppelin IV.
Dermal Incineration Event by Charitable Disguise December 21, 2019
Seismic Aqueous Waveform
An abnormally massive wave.
{On November 26, 2019 off the coast of Oregon (United States), 11 different satellite instruments designed to measure wave height, wave length and the direction of ocean swell systems, relayed real time and pattern delayed SAR and altimeter data providing conclusive evidence of the first ever observation of a Seismic Aqueous Waveform (S.A.W.). In the early 1800's, Sir James Clark Ross and British Naval Officer Count Fluervo of Korkyville presented an original postulate for Seismic Aqueous Waveforms (S.A.W.) suggesting that chaotic and abnormal deep sea land masses (what we now refer to as tectonic plates) were capable of colliding and dispersing an exponential quantity of kinetic energy resulting in oceanic swells up to 1950 feet high (conditions unknown at the time proximate to the mathematical equivalent/scale estimated during the Paleozoic Pangea fracturing events, circa 350 million years BC). The magnitude, span, volume and force of a S.A.W. is much greater than a Tsunami, hence a S.A.W. is also commonly referred to as a 'Supernami.'}
{On November 26, 2019 off the coast of Oregon (United States), 11 different satellite instruments designed to measure wave height, wave length and the direction of ocean swell systems, relayed real time and pattern delayed SAR and altimeter data providing conclusive evidence of the first ever observation of a Seismic Aqueous Waveform (S.A.W.). In the early 1800's, Sir James Clark Ross and British Naval Officer Count Fluervo of Korkyville presented an original postulate for Seismic Aqueous Waveforms (S.A.W.) suggesting that chaotic and abnormal deep sea land masses (what we now refer to as tectonic plates) were capable of colliding and dispersing an exponential quantity of kinetic energy resulting in oceanic swells up to 1950 feet high (conditions unknown at the time proximate to the mathematical equivalent/scale estimated during the Paleozoic Pangea fracturing events, circa 350 million years BC). The magnitude, span, volume and force of a S.A.W. is much greater than a Tsunami, hence a S.A.W. is also commonly referred to as a 'Supernami.'}
1. In 2019, a Seismic Aqueous Waveform was detected about 100 miles west of the California/Oregon coastline.
2. {Water cooler discussion begins} "Did you see the size of that Tsunami that nearly hit the California beaches this week?" {Conversational partner replies} "My friend, that was not a Tsunami, it was a S.A.W,, also known as a Supernami."
3. Sir James Clark Ross and Count Fleurvo of Korkyville were finally recognized for their research and position on Seismic Aqueous Waveforms (S.A.W.).
2. {Water cooler discussion begins} "Did you see the size of that Tsunami that nearly hit the California beaches this week?" {Conversational partner replies} "My friend, that was not a Tsunami, it was a S.A.W,, also known as a Supernami."
3. Sir James Clark Ross and Count Fleurvo of Korkyville were finally recognized for their research and position on Seismic Aqueous Waveforms (S.A.W.).
Seismic Aqueous Waveform by Charitable Disguise December 19, 2019
Quantum Nimbus
An uncommon, aberrant atmospheric condition wherein multiple opposing jet streams violently converge to form colossal, hydronautic vapor columns as a result of haphazardly fluctuating climatic temperatures, intense friction and a microcosmic, atomization of subterfuged kinetic energy. In especially unique and volatile environmental circumstances, extreme barometric density builds and induces a tourbillion-like vacuuming effect, whereby coagulating particles accumulate into a voluminous mass, temporarily opening a 'quantum' realm where cosmic physical properties emanate translucent, paralytic neuromuscular macro-waves.
1 {Curious Observer A} - "Dude, look at that incredible cloud formation over the Superstition mountains!" {Curious Observer B} - "Dude, thats a freaking 'Quantum Nimbus!'"
2. {Meteorologist broadcasting to audience} - "We've got some breaking, urgent news for you right now, so please listen closely, then take shelter immediatley if you are anywhere in the vicinity of the east valley. If you take a look at the weather map, right here, you will notice this unusual, columnar cloud structure, which, miraculously enough is the first observable evidence of a 'Quantum Nimbus' folks! Yes, you heard right, 'Quantum Nimbus'; capable of unleashing interminal cosmic destruction, peril, paralysis and the immediate extrication of human beings from the surface of the earth into an alternate quantum metaphysical realm, forever!"
2. {Meteorologist broadcasting to audience} - "We've got some breaking, urgent news for you right now, so please listen closely, then take shelter immediatley if you are anywhere in the vicinity of the east valley. If you take a look at the weather map, right here, you will notice this unusual, columnar cloud structure, which, miraculously enough is the first observable evidence of a 'Quantum Nimbus' folks! Yes, you heard right, 'Quantum Nimbus'; capable of unleashing interminal cosmic destruction, peril, paralysis and the immediate extrication of human beings from the surface of the earth into an alternate quantum metaphysical realm, forever!"
Quantum Nimbus by Charitable Disguise December 5, 2019
Pyro-noxious Slabs
A hazardous, geologic event wherein a hyper-accelerating flow of highly concentrated, sulfur infused volcanic magma builds, cools and intermittently cracks, avulsing into jaggedly uniform, mobilzed 'slabs' of densely toxic rock formations. In rare and unique environmental conditions, migratory slabs have been observed to spontaneously combust into abounding flames upon impact with proximate flora, fauna and curious homosapien onlookers, resulting in a enveloping expulsion of sulfuric cinder chards and respiratory impairing, noxious fumes.
1. "Did you see how the lava formed into 'Pyro-noxious Slabs' when it came down the side of of the volcano, cooling in rhythmic waves as it hit the ocean water's edge?"
2. "I still can't believe that Drew was instantaneously incinerated into a sulfuric plume of ash when that 'Pyro-noxious Slab' chased after him while he was trying to take pictures!"
2. "I still can't believe that Drew was instantaneously incinerated into a sulfuric plume of ash when that 'Pyro-noxious Slab' chased after him while he was trying to take pictures!"
Pyro-noxious Slabs by Charitable Disguise December 3, 2019
Sanfu
1. A multi-purpose, ultra-compact motorized utility vehicle, engineered for service functions and customer/member transportation on and around resort, country club and golf course properties.
2. A late 1980's hyper-modified, ungoverned, all terrain archetype vessel of symbolic freedom, hijinks and calamitous mischief, principally maintained, operated, carefully supervised and controlled by outside service staff members at Arrowhead Country Club.
Infamous for the following celebrated capers and stunts:
"Legend of the Rizer" - the tribal tale of the reticent and ambitious bagboy who once jumped the Sanfu 50+ feet off a random, unevenly tamped pile of construction refuse pitched at ~30 degree incline to the cheers, jeers and warnings of hopeful/concerned bagboy onlookers.
"The Hunger Run" - adapted for a swift and spontaneous remediation of early morning hunger pains, the Sanfu accelerator governance restrictor was intentionally removed to ensure optimal travel time to and from ABCO to acquire pop tarts and cinnamon toast.
"Orchard Wars" - A labyrinth where intrigue, uncertainty, aboriginal migrants, nourishment and adolescent debauchery culminate in the fulfilling experience of using the Sanfu as an agile motorized lance, navigating and enabling ripened/unripened citrus projectiles to be launched efficiently and with high accuracy at Dave, Rob, Matt, Nick, Mike, Korky, Giles, Kevin, Jim, Laramie, Derek, BK, Berardi, Scooter, and the never to be forgotten Nate.
2. A late 1980's hyper-modified, ungoverned, all terrain archetype vessel of symbolic freedom, hijinks and calamitous mischief, principally maintained, operated, carefully supervised and controlled by outside service staff members at Arrowhead Country Club.
Infamous for the following celebrated capers and stunts:
"Legend of the Rizer" - the tribal tale of the reticent and ambitious bagboy who once jumped the Sanfu 50+ feet off a random, unevenly tamped pile of construction refuse pitched at ~30 degree incline to the cheers, jeers and warnings of hopeful/concerned bagboy onlookers.
"The Hunger Run" - adapted for a swift and spontaneous remediation of early morning hunger pains, the Sanfu accelerator governance restrictor was intentionally removed to ensure optimal travel time to and from ABCO to acquire pop tarts and cinnamon toast.
"Orchard Wars" - A labyrinth where intrigue, uncertainty, aboriginal migrants, nourishment and adolescent debauchery culminate in the fulfilling experience of using the Sanfu as an agile motorized lance, navigating and enabling ripened/unripened citrus projectiles to be launched efficiently and with high accuracy at Dave, Rob, Matt, Nick, Mike, Korky, Giles, Kevin, Jim, Laramie, Derek, BK, Berardi, Scooter, and the never to be forgotten Nate.
"Dude, Rizer opened up the throttle on the Sanfu, drove around the curb and launched the Sanfu 50 feet over that ridge!"
"Hey Kevin, let's do rock, paper, scissors to see who will take the Sanfu to ABCO to get breakfast"
"Did you see how Matt leaned out of the side of the Sanfu and hurled a grapefruit with pinpoint accuracy into Dave's back, causing him to launch out of the cart, into a pile of dirt?"
"Hey Kevin, let's do rock, paper, scissors to see who will take the Sanfu to ABCO to get breakfast"
"Did you see how Matt leaned out of the side of the Sanfu and hurled a grapefruit with pinpoint accuracy into Dave's back, causing him to launch out of the cart, into a pile of dirt?"
Sanfu by Charitable Disguise November 24, 2019
Sanfu
1. A multi-purpose, ultra-compact motorized utility vehicle, engineered for service functions and customer/member transportation on and around resort, country club and golf course properties.
2. A late 1980's hyper-modified, ungoverned, all terrain archetype vessel of symbolic freedom, hijinks and calamitous mischief, principally maintained, operated, carefully supervised and controlled by outside service staff members at Arrowhead Country Club.
Infamous for the following celebrated capers and stunts:
"Legend of the Rizer" - the tribal tale of the reticent and ambitious bagboy who once jumped the Sanfu 50+ feet off a random, unevenly tamped pile of construction refuse pitched at ~30 degree incline to the cheers, jeers and warnings of hopeful/concerned bagboy onlookers.
"The Hunger Run" - adapted for a swift and spontaneous remediation of early morning hunger pains, the Sanfu accelerator governance restrictor was intentionally removed to ensure optimal travel time to and from ABCO to acquire pop tarts and cinnamon toast.
"Orchard Wars" - A labyrinth where intrigue, uncertainty, aboriginal migrants, nourishment and adolescent debauchery culminate in the fulfilling experience of using the Sanfu as an agile motorized lance, navigating and enabling ripened/unripened citrus projectiles to be launched efficiently and with high accuracy at Dave, Rob, Matt, Nick, Mike, Korky, Giles, Kevin, Jim, Laramie, Derek, BK, Berardi, Scooter, and the never to be forgotten Nate.
2. A late 1980's hyper-modified, ungoverned, all terrain archetype vessel of symbolic freedom, hijinks and calamitous mischief, principally maintained, operated, carefully supervised and controlled by outside service staff members at Arrowhead Country Club.
Infamous for the following celebrated capers and stunts:
"Legend of the Rizer" - the tribal tale of the reticent and ambitious bagboy who once jumped the Sanfu 50+ feet off a random, unevenly tamped pile of construction refuse pitched at ~30 degree incline to the cheers, jeers and warnings of hopeful/concerned bagboy onlookers.
"The Hunger Run" - adapted for a swift and spontaneous remediation of early morning hunger pains, the Sanfu accelerator governance restrictor was intentionally removed to ensure optimal travel time to and from ABCO to acquire pop tarts and cinnamon toast.
"Orchard Wars" - A labyrinth where intrigue, uncertainty, aboriginal migrants, nourishment and adolescent debauchery culminate in the fulfilling experience of using the Sanfu as an agile motorized lance, navigating and enabling ripened/unripened citrus projectiles to be launched efficiently and with high accuracy at Dave, Rob, Matt, Nick, Mike, Korky, Giles, Kevin, Jim, Laramie, Derek, BK, Berardi, Scooter, and the never to be forgotten Nate.
"Dude, Rizer opened up the throttle on the Sanfu, drove around the curb and launched the Sanfu 50 feet over that ridge!"
"Hey Kevin, let's do rock, paper, scissors to see who will take the Sanfu to ABCO to get breakfast"
"Did you see how Matt leaned out of the side of the Sanfu and hurled a grapefruit with pinpoint accuracy into Dave's back, causing him to launch out of the cart, into a pile of dirt?"
"Hey Kevin, let's do rock, paper, scissors to see who will take the Sanfu to ABCO to get breakfast"
"Did you see how Matt leaned out of the side of the Sanfu and hurled a grapefruit with pinpoint accuracy into Dave's back, causing him to launch out of the cart, into a pile of dirt?"
Sanfu by Charitable Disguise November 24, 2019