29 definitions by Capuchin for Hire

When a burger joint reduces their meat patty quality to ramp up sales by switching to the same meat patty supplier as McDonald's without adjusting their prices.
Fred:"Yo what's up with my waygu hamburger?It taste like school lunch."
Greg:" They're Going Mcpremium, they got 100 chain stores across the south now, gotta keep jacking those numbers up!
by Capuchin for Hire June 10, 2023
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When everything from your work life, morning rituals, and weekend is compromised. So you yell in it dismay.
Person 1:" My job sucks, they closed my favorite 80s spot that I go to after work, and the Club Houses no longer honor the yearly winners with plaques. My entire week is compromised!"
Person 2:" Man fuckafunction."
Person 1:"fuckafunction!"
by Capuchin for Hire June 27, 2023
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A reply typically given to someone anticipating your next move ;implying that you will only perform at your most optimal level when everything has come to a standstill from the ensuing shitstorm.
Person 1: "Ready to climb devil's canyon?"
Person 2: "When the air is dry."
by Capuchin for Hire December 16, 2021
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When a dude manages to find a monster shit in a public restroom and records it for laughs but it ends up getting the attention of paleontologist who think they can replicate the living organism that birthed the atrocity in a lab. Such organism is known as a turd spawn..
Jeff: Yo you see that instagram video of that monster shit?!
Kyle: Yea apparently they think an elusive cretaceous animal layed it now they are trying to revive a replica with it.
Jeff: Sounds like a Turd Spawn.
by Capuchin for Hire October 2, 2023
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Someone who's employment has been mostly if not all through craiglist and is on a constant lookout for better job listings , potentially exceeding that of Johnny Sins.
Person 1: Yo bro how do you know so much about plumbing and electronics, why are you still here?
Person 2: I've had a lot of previous jobs through craiglist, I've been a plumber,butcher,machinist,warehouseman,undertaker, trucker, and phone repairman. I'm just here holding out here for the next job... you could call me a craiglist mercenary.
Person: Dam! A life well lived.
by Capuchin for Hire January 12, 2023
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A fourth-dimensional vampire is someone who lives in a different timeline and only seeks to further their agenda, often times only appearing to vibe check unsuspecting people engaged in a different activity.
Derek:"Dam I can't believe Steven just dropped by to laugh at me playing cards at the local casino."
Josh: "Doesn't that dude have gremlins now? I haven't seen him since we graduated highschool 10 years back."
Derek:" Yea he hasn't changed much, he really is a fourth-dimensional vampire."
by Capuchin for Hire June 21, 2021
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When you set wake up everyday to do the same thing , but just Half-ass your way through because you A. You are too physically or mentally tired B. Your rents due and you have no choice.
Person 1:Rise and grime Rick, your late for your 16 hour shift!
Person 2: FML, aight lets get it.
by Capuchin for Hire April 24, 2022
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