Capuchin for Hire's definitions

When the air is dry

A reply typically given to someone anticipating your next move ;implying that you will only perform at your most optimal level when everything has come to a standstill from the ensuing shitstorm.

Person 1: "Ready to climb devil's canyon?"
Person 2: "When the air is dry."

by Capuchin for Hire December 15, 2021

Fuckafunction

When everything from your work life, morning rituals, and weekend is compromised. So you yell in it dismay.

Person 1:" My job sucks, they closed my favorite 80s spot that I go to after work, and the Club Houses no longer honor the yearly winners with plaques. My entire week is compromised!"
Person 2:" Man fuckafunction."
Person 1:"fuckafunction!"

by Capuchin for Hire June 26, 2023

Welingo

When you make a grammatical error because you were subconsciously hungry when trying to perform said literary task.

Person: Dam I forgot how to spell hangry, must be my welingo kicking in.

by Capuchin for Hire January 19, 2022

Bozodozer

Someone who does no not avoid deliberate traps and still benifits.

Person 1: "Did you see that video last week?"
Person 2: "About the cake in the mangrove forest?"
Person 1:"Yea, the guy is an absolute bozodozer. He took a slice while there was an alligator scoping him out in the back."

by Capuchin for Hire March 19, 2022

Mundane Monday

When the start of your work week is so slow and devoid of objectives that you can't find anything to escape the existential dread at work

Kenny:"Yo there's no orders and the warehouse is all fixed up, what is there to do?
Rick:" Milk the clock i guess, just another mundane monday."

by Capuchin for Hire June 10, 2023

craiglist mercenary

Someone who's employment has been mostly if not all through craiglist and is on a constant lookout for better job listings , potentially exceeding that of Johnny Sins.

Person 1: Yo bro how do you know so much about plumbing and electronics, why are you still here?
Person 2: I've had a lot of previous jobs through craiglist, I've been a plumber,butcher,machinist,warehouseman,undertaker, trucker, and phone repairman. I'm just here holding out here for the next job... you could call me a craiglist mercenary.
Person: Dam! A life well lived.

by Capuchin for Hire January 11, 2023

Dreamshook

When you lucid dream and die, waking you up because your brain can't process the death from the hallucination-like dream.

Person 1: Last night I had the sensation that I fell 90 feet from the sky and hit the floor.My heart was pounding when I woke up.
Person 2: You are dreamshook.

by Capuchin for Hire September 10, 2022