7 definitions by BruffandConlon
Matty J: Mate, the other day I pulled this right old munter. I was going down on her when she came and got a face full of Grannies Fairy Dust!
Deano: Respect!
Deano: Respect!
by BruffandConlon June 12, 2013
A TV show in which convicted rapists are entered into a Big Brother style house. The ultimate goal of the show is to find the best rapist of those interred. They would have weekly competitions such as Most Violent Rapist, Quickest Rapist, Most Loving Rapist, highest amount of 'I'm sorry's' post coitus etc. the winner would be the publics most favoured Rapist. The prize being facial reconstruction and a new identity.
Matty J: Hey Deano, who's your favourite on this awesome show 'So you think you can Rape?'
Deano: Well I was gunning for Fritzl but the new guy Castro has swung it for me!
Matty J: Gaylord!
Deano: Well I was gunning for Fritzl but the new guy Castro has swung it for me!
Matty J: Gaylord!
by BruffandConlon June 12, 2013
Matty J: Hey Deano, you busy mate? I fancy some Bean Nut Butter!
Deano: Mate, you need a vagina for that shit.
Matty J: Yeah, I know, but you're so hot I want to try it anyway. Just chalk it down as practice. Now get your ass out.
Deano: For fuck sake Matty J, you really are the biggest queer I've met in my life. Just be gentle.
Deano: Mate, you need a vagina for that shit.
Matty J: Yeah, I know, but you're so hot I want to try it anyway. Just chalk it down as practice. Now get your ass out.
Deano: For fuck sake Matty J, you really are the biggest queer I've met in my life. Just be gentle.
by BruffandConlon August 3, 2013
When attempting to make love to a South African, the dominant male adopts a static missionary position and whilst staring into the submissive's eyes in a 'rapey' fashion, and drooling all over their face.
After a romantic candle lit dinner for two:
Matty J: Here, Deano, I've not had desert, how about a bit of Sally's Delight?
Deano: You know what mate, I was thinking thinking exactly the same thing.
Matty J: Here, Deano, I've not had desert, how about a bit of Sally's Delight?
Deano: You know what mate, I was thinking thinking exactly the same thing.
by BruffandConlon June 12, 2013
When a female calls a guy 'cute' what she is actually saying is that the guy is ruggedly handsome, oozes masculinity, is alpha-male, has a great body, is the envy of other guys, is generally well hung and an animal in bed. The very sight of the guy turns her weak at the knees, causes her to blush and become shy and so overcome with desire that she cannot bear the thought of not being with him.
Not to be confused with 'cute' which describes a metrosexual, millennial wimp.
Not to be confused with 'cute' which describes a metrosexual, millennial wimp.
by BruffandConlon February 25, 2018
Squirt Factories tend to be confined to bachelor pads. Two or more men get together with the sole intention of assisting women in squirting. It is in these rooms that women's carnal desires are realised. Via theoretical, empirical and physical research, Squirt Factories have become the worlds number one destination for women wishing to experience a 'Squirting' orgasm. Both the Urethal and Perenial sponges are massaged, vigorously, to create that previously mythical phenomenon!
Chris: Hey Luke, how's the squirt factory rota this month?
Luke: Pretty good, so far I've collected around 3 litres.
Chris: Not bad brother, I'm on 5, so you'd better get those fingers working!
Luke: You're the best man!
Chris: I know!
Luke: Pretty good, so far I've collected around 3 litres.
Chris: Not bad brother, I'm on 5, so you'd better get those fingers working!
Luke: You're the best man!
Chris: I know!
by BruffandConlon June 14, 2013
When one male, after eating and enjoying a nutritious yoghurt, inserts said yogurt pot into his anus.
His male companion then inserts his penis and/or balls into the yogurt pot.
Note: this is definitely not gay!
His male companion then inserts his penis and/or balls into the yogurt pot.
Note: this is definitely not gay!
Matty J and Deano have enjoyed a pleasant picnic on Hampstead Heath.
Matty J: Hey Deano, I've got this empty yogurt pot, what shall I do with it?
Deano: I know mate, let's try a spot of yoghurt-potting. It's definitely not gay!
Matty J: Hey Deano, I've got this empty yogurt pot, what shall I do with it?
Deano: I know mate, let's try a spot of yoghurt-potting. It's definitely not gay!
by BruffandConlon June 12, 2013