Farting technique. You have a really great girlfriend who you want to keep, but she keeps feeding you onions which are giving you massive flatulence. Your relationship hasn't developed well enough for you to grout in her presence so........as a massive bubble drops into place you
pull your anus sideways with your index finger commuting your fart from the obvious to an unexplained fffffff noise.
pull your anus sideways with your index finger commuting your fart from the obvious to an unexplained fffffff noise.
She was a right bobby dazzeler and sod's law I had a massive
shit gas attack, but I 'jap skewed' them all, luckily they were plain flavoured and stenchless so I'm on a promise for Thursday now!
shit gas attack, but I 'jap skewed' them all, luckily they were plain flavoured and stenchless so I'm on a promise for Thursday now!
by Brucester September 10, 2006
Get the jap skewed mug.A set up whereby someone is led to believe that they have in fact won the Lotto.
The person who's name is Leigh records the Lottery Programme, notes the winning numbers and buys a ticket the following week with these numbers on and gives it to his wife. On Saturday they both sit down as the show starts but it's 'run VT' and she doesn't realise but she is now watching last weeks show. He shares in the 'excitement' as all the numbers come up, the bastard has even included the Bonus Ball - AS WELL. He then lets her phone up Lottery HQ to claim her prize....hey why not? It's ONLY a joke... :-0
The person who's name is Leigh records the Lottery Programme, notes the winning numbers and buys a ticket the following week with these numbers on and gives it to his wife. On Saturday they both sit down as the show starts but it's 'run VT' and she doesn't realise but she is now watching last weeks show. He shares in the 'excitement' as all the numbers come up, the bastard has even included the Bonus Ball - AS WELL. He then lets her phone up Lottery HQ to claim her prize....hey why not? It's ONLY a joke... :-0
"OK Mrs X I will need a few examples of unreasonable behaviour to put before the court"
1. Bogus Lotto
2. Donkey Punches
3. He wears stockings and has a vibrator up his ass most times we have sex.
4. Conducts "Builder's Inspections" at customer's houses.
5. Casts lead weights in the shape of gold bars and paints them accordingly, ages coins with bleach and 'lets me find both while scuba diving on shipwrecks with him.
Thank you Mrs X, that should do nicely.
Leigh......you're one in a million but we all love you!
1. Bogus Lotto
2. Donkey Punches
3. He wears stockings and has a vibrator up his ass most times we have sex.
4. Conducts "Builder's Inspections" at customer's houses.
5. Casts lead weights in the shape of gold bars and paints them accordingly, ages coins with bleach and 'lets me find both while scuba diving on shipwrecks with him.
Thank you Mrs X, that should do nicely.
Leigh......you're one in a million but we all love you!
by Brucester September 18, 2006
Get the Bogus Lotto mug.1. I'll give it a miss, I'm feeling totally tarahted
2. Well I might as well bin it now, you've completely tarahted it.
3. Have you seen what those chavs have done to the bus stop - it's completely tarahted.
2. Well I might as well bin it now, you've completely tarahted it.
3. Have you seen what those chavs have done to the bus stop - it's completely tarahted.
by Brucester September 10, 2006
Get the tarahted mug.Used disposable nappy. Once folded into place with the velcrow wings secured it resembles a product from the Ginsters range.
by Brucester September 10, 2006
Get the piss pasty mug.Honey...........I was wondering.........when you give me a
BJ...why not blow instead of suck?!?....it might work.
As she blows you RASP one out. "Hey don't blow that hard,
it's not a trumpet.....now I've had a blartkin
BJ...why not blow instead of suck?!?....it might work.
As she blows you RASP one out. "Hey don't blow that hard,
it's not a trumpet.....now I've had a blartkin
by Brucester January 31, 2008
Get the blartkin mug.Someone who just doesn’t get on with their self inflicted, otherwise shitty life within their own patch or ghetto and who keeps cropping up as an indecent and ironic cameo in polite circles.
They gain access to the well ordered and pleasant lanes of middle England by sliding in as mock Middle Englanders. Once ensconced they then un-pack themselves like a virus
and degrade and erode everyone's life, causing havoc as they un-pick the fabric of communities, clubs and charities that do not have tight enough integrity in place. Power Chavs have one minor good use and that is they unwittingly subject the real Middle Englanders to a purity test,
depressingly some fail as they espouse the Power Chavs new, “No nonsense, modern and refreshingly convenient” lifestyle including the interesting, at first, patoir. All Power Chavs have a loud voice, are quite verbose and uncannily know certain parts of the law inside out.
They gain access to the well ordered and pleasant lanes of middle England by sliding in as mock Middle Englanders. Once ensconced they then un-pack themselves like a virus
and degrade and erode everyone's life, causing havoc as they un-pick the fabric of communities, clubs and charities that do not have tight enough integrity in place. Power Chavs have one minor good use and that is they unwittingly subject the real Middle Englanders to a purity test,
depressingly some fail as they espouse the Power Chavs new, “No nonsense, modern and refreshingly convenient” lifestyle including the interesting, at first, patoir. All Power Chavs have a loud voice, are quite verbose and uncannily know certain parts of the law inside out.
That x really is a Power Chav, have you noticed? They have talked their way onto the committee, changed everything, thrown out all the old time honoured traditions, frightened away the usual volunteers and now resigned in an undignified public outburst leaving the place in a state of total collapse.
by Brucester May 22, 2007
Get the Power Chav mug."HEY! don't Gob Wash it you filthy chav, how can we have some NOW."
"When you go up for communion, make sure that ***** is behind you, I reckon he Gob-Washes the chalice."
"When you go up for communion, make sure that ***** is behind you, I reckon he Gob-Washes the chalice."
by Brucester September 16, 2006
Get the Gob-Wash mug.