Brucester's definitions

spam flautist

Virtuoso fellatio performer.

Presidential spam flautist Monika Lewinski lied in court again today, yet privately hoped she would be found out, as the whole point of the exercise was that she wanted to simply be catalogued in history as someone who blew the President. <Mindless cunt>

by Brucester September 13, 2006

trog

Troglodytes, cave dwellers. Caver, potholer, spelaeologist,
spelunker. A highly respectable name for anyone physically tough enough and experienced in exploring caves or potholes.
Someone of immense stamina - probably under 30 years of age.

There were actually quite a few trogs in there so it was a cool place to go drinking.

by Brucester September 11, 2006

bowel howl

A Fart: A fart of specific audiophonic quality, a long melancholy sound with a gradual drop in tone identical to the howl of a wolf

It was a still moonlit night, my last meal contained raw onions, the dusty old house lay silent. Out of respect for partner I lay on my side pulled back the duvet, letting out
a spectacular 'bowel howl' the likes of which would inspire a novel by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

by Brucester September 10, 2006

grout

Alt. name for a fart. An extremely accurate onomatopoeia for a very short ripping stuccatto type fart. So accurate it follows the word exactly. GR - The rasping start, OU - the classic change in tone. T - the abrupt end as the sphincter slams shut. GR OU T

Did you hear that? Someone grouted during prayers.

by Brucester September 10, 2006

piss pasty

Used disposable nappy. Once folded into place with the velcrow wings secured it resembles a product from the Ginsters range.

While you're up their would you empty the nappy bin - it's
solid with 'piss pastys'

by Brucester September 10, 2006

space cookies

Skiing: A small lump of very hard snow or ice that looks innocent enough but it is practically welded to the piste causing you to stumble when you ski into it. Usually encountered first thing in the morning before the sun has loosened the snow up.

Following a wipe-out....."I think I must have hit a space cookie or something"

OR

Take it easy guys this next bit is littered with space cookies

by Brucester September 10, 2006

tarahted

Impressively knackered or broken.

1. I'll give it a miss, I'm feeling totally tarahted

2. Well I might as well bin it now, you've completely tarahted it.

3. Have you seen what those chavs have done to the bus stop - it's completely tarahted.

by Brucester September 10, 2006