Definitions by Brucester

clot mop 

Tampax tampon sanitary towel.

Man, the beach was utterly discusting, all sorts; used clot mops, skin willies and logs of shit

clot mop by Brucester September 16, 2006

diarraulics 

A continuous viscous blockage of the entire tract whereby the hydraulic effect of eating one meal simply guarantees that another is angrily spat out of the other end.

I don't know what to do, eating is useless, I'm suffering a diarraulics attack.

diarraulics by Brucester September 16, 2006

brown fudge sunday 

No....not a mis-spelling. A day of the week upon which you should be afforded rest and relaxation, but due to the fact that you have three children under four years of age you spend that day packing a despatching shit pastys into the nappy bin.

"Hey come on, I've done six today already - you have a go,
I'm just having a brown fudge sunday and bugger all else"

brown fudge sunday by Brucester September 16, 2006

Gob-Wash 

The act of drinking from a vessel but returning some or all of the liquid back into the vessel.

"HEY! don't Gob Wash it you filthy chav, how can we have some NOW."

"When you go up for communion, make sure that ***** is behind you, I reckon he Gob-Washes the chalice."

Gob-Wash by Brucester September 16, 2006

brown trout fisherman 

A person that is homosexual in an environment of straight people.

"How can I put the sensitively Gemma, our friend Gideon, the one you made a move on this morning, well he, em, is a Brown Trout Fisherman" "Oh dear I'm not putting this very well am I....he's a sausage jockey, a marmite driller, a pillow biter"

2 hours later....

".....A Hershey highwayman, a fudge packer"

"OH, you mean he's GAY"

"Yes"

brown trout fisherman by Brucester September 16, 2006

golden hello 

A term you may have previously used in business to describe a cash bonus on appointment, not in this instance though!..........

The sudden deluge of warm sweet smelling regurgitated SMA Gold infant formula that runs down your neck and shoulders during 'burping' - usually followed by a smile. It's what you get for being lazy and trying to get the whole bottle down without 'burping' mid way.

"Darling, has Jemima been fed" "Er-nope, not exactly she's
just had a golden hello"

golden hello by Brucester September 13, 2006

spam flautist

Virtuoso fellatio performer.

Presidential spam flautist Monika Lewinski lied in court again today, yet privately hoped she would be found out, as the whole point of the exercise was that she wanted to simply be catalogued in history as someone who blew the President. <Mindless cunt>

spam flautist by Brucester September 13, 2006