Brucester's definitions

clot mop

Tampax tampon sanitary towel.

Man, the beach was utterly discusting, all sorts; used clot mops, skin willies and logs of shit

by Brucester September 16, 2006

diarraulics

A continuous viscous blockage of the entire tract whereby the hydraulic effect of eating one meal simply guarantees that another is angrily spat out of the other end.

I don't know what to do, eating is useless, I'm suffering a diarraulics attack.

by Brucester September 16, 2006

brown fudge sunday

No....not a mis-spelling. A day of the week upon which you should be afforded rest and relaxation, but due to the fact that you have three children under four years of age you spend that day packing a despatching shit pastys into the nappy bin.

"Hey come on, I've done six today already - you have a go,
I'm just having a brown fudge sunday and bugger all else"

by Brucester September 16, 2006

Gob-Wash

The act of drinking from a vessel but returning some or all of the liquid back into the vessel.

"HEY! don't Gob Wash it you filthy chav, how can we have some NOW."

"When you go up for communion, make sure that ***** is behind you, I reckon he Gob-Washes the chalice."

by Brucester September 16, 2006

brown trout fisherman

A person that is homosexual in an environment of straight people.

"How can I put the sensitively Gemma, our friend Gideon, the one you made a move on this morning, well he, em, is a Brown Trout Fisherman" "Oh dear I'm not putting this very well am I....he's a sausage jockey, a marmite driller, a pillow biter"

2 hours later....

".....A Hershey highwayman, a fudge packer"

"OH, you mean he's GAY"

"Yes"

by Brucester September 16, 2006

golden hello

A term you may have previously used in business to describe a cash bonus on appointment, not in this instance though!..........

The sudden deluge of warm sweet smelling regurgitated SMA Gold infant formula that runs down your neck and shoulders during 'burping' - usually followed by a smile. It's what you get for being lazy and trying to get the whole bottle down without 'burping' mid way.

"Darling, has Jemima been fed" "Er-nope, not exactly she's
just had a golden hello"

by Brucester September 13, 2006

Power Fish

You have just woken up after a shag, you need a piss and you also need to get rid of the used condom still on your cock, you also need to make certain that the condom is totally disposed of.........enter the POWER FISH, holding the condom still in place you empty your bladder into it, then precisely positioning yourself so that the baloon of piss is directly over the deepest part of the pan, then let go immediatly with both hands. A 'bonus power fish' is sometimes achieved whereby the payload drops with such force that it vanishes round the U bend immediately without even flushing.

The science behind a bonus power fish is still poorly understood but may have something to do with the shape of the particular pan and also the volume of piss in the skin willie. BPF's still only account for 5% of Power Fish.

Re-enters the room....<Thinks> Fucking dynamite Power Fish.

She <thinks> wierd cunt, sounded like a power dump, I wonder if his arse is prolapsed?

by Brucester September 13, 2006