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Definitions by Brucester

Pronounced 'idge' a suffix attached to almost any word. Invented in 1988. Whilst doing exhibition work we were asked to, "Go and put up the 'signage' to which we replied,
"And after that we are going to have some drinkage some clubbage and a bit of kebabage" Since then adding 'age' to the end of a word has spread impressively but now seems to be on the decline.
Kippage, drinkage, chatage, swimage etc etc
age by Brucester September 10, 2006
Vomit. An onomatopoeia describing in particular the hearty sound of someone painfully emptying their guts
"Where's John, I thought he was with us??" "He's just about to rop up round the back of the bus shelter - we better wait for him"
rop up by Brucester September 10, 2006
Cockney rhyming slang: Gregory Peck - neck. (Becoming out dated now though.)
Get that down yer Gregory
gregory by Brucester September 10, 2006

jap skewed 

Farting technique. You have a really great girlfriend who you want to keep, but she keeps feeding you onions which are giving you massive flatulence. Your relationship hasn't developed well enough for you to grout in her presence so........as a massive bubble drops into place you
pull your anus sideways with your index finger commuting your fart from the obvious to an unexplained fffffff noise.
She was a right bobby dazzeler and sod's law I had a massive
shit gas attack, but I 'jap skewed' them all, luckily they were plain flavoured and stenchless so I'm on a promise for Thursday now!
jap skewed by Brucester September 10, 2006

indirect fart 

Draconian punishment for the fussy girfriend who keeps complaining about your unavoidabe flatulence, and who keeps escaping when you try to hold her head under the blanket.

A rich fart is released silently into your hand, you expell all air from your lungs then breath in the fart from your closed hand. You now make an amorous approach and breath the fart into her face / mouth as you kiss her. This will cure the problem as she WILL leave you. Failing this you repeat the procedure but first you bite strips of of your fingernails and wedge them between your teeth - an "indirect fart with nails"
I gave her an indirect fart
indirect fart by Brucester September 10, 2006

pork oil 

Practically unacknowledged existence of highly porky smelling oil secreted around the anus - avoid showering for a few days to discover this. Can be smeared under the nose of a fellow camping / dormitory occupant as a punishment.

Other 'oils' exist - discover and enjoy......
Lamb oil - found in the pubes,
Cheese oil - found between toes esp. athletes foot
Bacon & onion oil - armpits
Chicken oil - hair!
Prawn oil - earns, esp if infected.
I taught the arsewipe not to snore, I gave him a pork oil moustache.
pork oil by Brucester September 10, 2006
hwank or hwankers. Invented by Tourettes sufferer Pete Bennett of Big Brother 7 fame. Word is identical to wank or wankers but is intentionally poorly disguised by a cough, thus absolving the user of any responsibility for using an expletive.
"Grace is getting booed, they're booing Grace - hwankers"
Using the word 'wankers' he would have been insulting the people he wanted to vote for him, but 'hwankers' - no problem.
hwank by Brucester September 1, 2006