Braveheart's thirst for blood's definitions

America's Trinket Store

(from America's Technology Store--the name given to Radio Shack back in the late 1990s/early 2000 zeroes). The Christmas Tree Shops, a place known for selling knicknacks and decorative items. Sometimes you can even buy a celluloid christmas tree there.

Frodo: "I'm going to America's Trinket Store to buy a crystal ball for my garden." Saruman: "Could you get me a minature Santa while you're there? I like his beard."

by Braveheart's thirst for blood January 13, 2007

mode of failure

1. When talking about machines, the way it dies/becomes permanently unusable/gets bricked/gets broken.
2. Refers to the method by which anything/anyone with a fixed life span meets their doom.

1. An overclocked CPU's mode of failure is usually overheating.
1. If the blown engine's mode of failure is a cracked connecting rod, you should modify the connecting rod to make it stronger.
2. Instead of being stabbed with a spear, a common mode of failure for Presidents of the US who die in office is being shot with a firearm.
2. "In the 1st Millennium, a common mode of failure for Popes was martyrdom."

by Braveheart's thirst for blood August 20, 2006

lately you have

Another one of the sentences of doom. Usually said by your boss after you swiped too many xerox copies or pens from the office, or by your parents when your report card/behavior is not up to snuff.

"Lately you have been throwing pencils in the asbestos ceiling tiles at school. The police are going to investigate this as a death threat. We need to talk!"

by Braveheart's thirst for blood January 13, 2007

someone tells me you've been

A secondhand account of complaint, usually from a person of authority, or by someone who's the teacher's pet (if at school). A sentence of doom. Can happen if you've been sexually harrassing the teacher's daughter, sticking aluminum foil into electrical outlets, shoplifting, etc.

"Someone tells me you've been putting foil in the outlets at school. If you don't respect electicity, I can't let you have electronics in your room." "Someone tells me you've been mooning the principal. Don't you know you can get arrested for that?"

by Braveheart's thirst for blood January 13, 2007

Statue

(verb)To ruin the rest of your life via a stupid choice you made. Examples include procreating illegitimate children, landing yourself in jail, drinking and driving resulting in below the neck paralysis, becoming a vegetable from too much drugs, etc. If you end up dying shortly after the mistake, it doesn't count as being statued.

"Finally we run the trojan which causes you to smoke a joint and get 20 years to life. We see a brief image of you getting high on the convenience store's security camera. Your life is now as useful, and entertaining, as a statue."

by Braveheart's thirst for blood April 20, 2006

OPEC's dream come true

Any town which has 10% or less of its population younger than 55, has no public transportation, and any place to buy goods at a reasonable price is just outside of a 3 hour walk one way. So called because you need a car to get anywhere fun, and cars burn gasoline, which means more $$$ for the oil companies. If you are lucky, you might be able to take a ride to Wal*Mart on unicorn or dragon for a small fare (I'm being sarcastic on that last sentence.)

The main advantage is low crime, if a bank gets robbed, a walker or cane would of been used as a deadly weapon.

Grandma:"Mabye we could move to Tiverton!"
Youngun:"Tiverton! That's OPEC's dream come true!"

by Braveheart's thirst for blood January 22, 2007

enema-cowboy

An actual password on an AOL trial disk back in the 1990s. An enema-cowboy is gay man who rides another man like a cowboy rides a horse and penetrates so deeply that it effectively impacts the bowels (like an enema).

Did you see that enema-cowboy?, He's got such a lisp and I heard that he rides Elton John like the wild stallion.

by Braveheart's thirst for blood February 13, 2007