tiger

A big orange and black striped liony thing with sharp claws and rather a nasty bite. They don't usually eat men but that's only because they don't usually get the chance. Obviously, if you live near a tiger it may consider eating you. Basically, what I am saying is - the further away you live from a tiger, the less chance you have of getting eaten by one. I live in Selhurst in South London and NOBODY here has been eaten by a tiger since 1922 and I'm not even sure that it was a real tiger then (although I suppose if it ate someone it must have been a large carnivore so it may as well have been a tiger as anything else). Perhaps it was some sort of mock-tiger. Or maybe a stripey bear or something. I don't know, I wasn't even born then and you know what old people are like... The whole thing is probably a tissue of lies from start to finish. Anyway, thats sort of what a tiger is. So thats cleared that up then. Actually, I don't know why I bothered. I've never met a single person who didn't have some idea of what a tiger was so it seems a bit pointless describing one. I don't really think that the purpose of urban dictionary is to define the bleeding obvious. It really seems to be a forum for 'street' types to say things like "Yo!" and "Your mutherfucking sister's a ho!" and "Janice is such a slut" etc. Even such people as this probably know what a tiger is.

" I say George, your hand looks sore."
" Yeah, a tiger bit me. It's true, honest, go on, hit me in the stomach!"

or

"Mary, you'll never get anywhere in life by just lying around without a head, you know."
"Gurgle gurgle gurgle"
(Translation: "This is true mother, but as a tiger has bitten off my head and eaten it, I'm afraid I have no choice. In fact, that is the very reason why I'm finding it a little difficult to communicate with you at the moment and so I shall stop forthwith. Goodbye for ever")

by Bob Sometimes April 29, 2005

pant moustache

Muff spillage. Not so much down the leg as over the waistband. Unruly fanny wire.

"In parliament today, Anne Widdecombe gave John Prescott a lingering Dutch Wink revealing a pant moustache like Noel Gallagher's eyebrow."

by Bob Sometimes September 04, 2004

jizzmould

The suggestion that something will take so long that one's sperm will curdle before the said event occurs.

"Jesus Christ, I'll have jizzmould before Heskey gets a goal for England!"

by Bob Sometimes September 04, 2004

cuntfull

To be truly fed up with something, usually if you are a female.

"Dodi, I've had a cuntfull of that jug-eared husband of mine, fancy taking me for a drive round Paris?"

or

"Listen Kurt, I've had a cuntfull of your miserable songs, why don't you blow your fucking head off with that shotgun!"

by Bob Sometimes September 04, 2004

Laptop

Well OBVIOUSLY its a computer but it also means a woman who is sexy but small of stature and can be easily picked up, moved around, etc, during Horizontal Jogging. Damn! There's another word I'll have to define.

"Dave's girlfriend couldn't reach a high shelf without a ladder and a couple of phone books but he felt it was handy to have a laptop in the bedroom."

by Bob Sometimes January 09, 2006

bird's custard

The thick, creamy sauce that slurps out of a bird when she is aroused (very nice on a piece of apple pie).

"After dinner I enjoyed my aunt's cherry pie with a thick helping of bird's custard"

by Bob Sometimes March 23, 2005

Big Muck

Two flattened turds in a bap, covered in bloody pus and soggy mould, available for purchase at a well-known burger chain. Consumed with enthusiasm by plebs who would eat their own bowels if they were packaged in a gaudy fashion.

"Greetings fresh-faced burger bar attendant. Kindly poison me with a Big Muck, if you would be so kind." - "Certainly sir and would you like some scabby fries with your shit or shall I just puke in your face?"

by Bob Sometimes September 04, 2004