Definitions by Big Jack's Bollocks
Afterplops
A phenomenon that occurs after you’ve had a really massive poo, possibly following a few days of constipation, however for a few hours after the said poo you need to return to the toilet several times to pass turds even though you thought your bowel was completely empty.
I thought I’d have a really good day today after managing an extremely large & satisfying poo this morning, however when I got to work I had to go to the toilet 4 or 5 times to pass even more poo, it was a really bad attack of the afterplops.
Afterplops by Big Jack's Bollocks November 7, 2025
Mingeweasal
Where I work there’s this guy who constantly hits on any female whose unfortunate enough to come into his line of sight, he’s known locally as the mingeweasal!
Mingeweasal by Big Jack's Bollocks July 22, 2023
Fake Summit
A Fake Summit is the phenomenon that occurs when you go hill walking for the first time, i.e. you think you’ve reached the top of a hill but when you get to where you think is the top of the hill you realise there’s more climbing to do. Fake Summits sap morale and make people grumpy.
“That new girl who cane hill walking is really high maintenance, she had a proper hissy fit halfway up Blister Hill” Yes she did, she cracked after experiencing her 3rd Fake Summit”
Fake Summit by Big Jack's Bollocks December 29, 2018
assgassination
When your using a public loo for a poo and someone goes into the cubicle next to you and does a really nasty loud smelly shit that is so offensive it makes you feel really unwell
I was in the shitters at the metro nipping one off when this guy went in the next cubicle and really dropped his guts, it was loud, splaterry and it stunk, I think it was an assgassination attempt!
assgassination by Big Jack's Bollocks June 14, 2018
facebook night shift
“OMG have you seen how many FB posts Natalie made after we went to bed?” , “Yes she’ appears to have chronicled our entire night out during her Facebook night shift”
facebook night shift by Big Jack's Bollocks January 23, 2018
Doing a Donald
"hey bro what do you think of someone that may start world war 3 by constantly provoking a deranged nuclear armed dictator" " Well I'd think they were really dumb, and their actions should be described as Doing a Donald!
Doing a Donald by Big Jack's Bollocks September 29, 2017
secret shag
"Hey bro Fat Susan said you laid her last week", "ok yes I did, I was totally pissed , the bottom line is I'd prefer to keep her as a secret shag"
secret shag by Big Jack's Bollocks July 21, 2017