BenchMax345's definitions

OHLAP

Oklahoma Higher Learner Access Program (abbrev. OHLAP) is an Oklahoma's Promise scholarship granted for low income parents. Parents with an income of less than $50,000 a year and high school student(s) who worked their ass off earned it. There are specific high school courses that must be taken in order for OHLAP to be rewarded. OHLAP is one of the fastest growing scholarships in Oklahoma. OHLAP pays full tuition towards your college degree. This is a very godly/Chuck Norris scholarship that people take for granted. To date, over 30,000 students enrolled for OHLAP since its inception (source: my high school counselor). The higher your parent’s income, the better your ACT scores have to be in order to achieve…OHLAP (ACT score of a 30 right here BOOYAH! Flawlessly pwned). In order for the effects of this scholarship to remain beneficial, you must maintain a grade point average of an A> (3.60>.) and "promise" to stay away from trouble (i.e. drugs, alcohol, your mom). This scholarship can only be negated by successfully acquiring your bachelor degree or simply "student of failures." On the negative side of the spectrum, if you procrastinated your ass off and haven't procure your bachelor degree within the five years period, then OHLAP's powerful effects will eventually diminish; hence, your balls will be tragically suppress in a hectic manner (which in turn leads to death of purple balls). Absurdly, OHLAP has some dark secrets to deny its existence by your side (which will, in terms, give you a deadly purple nurple). For more history on OHLAP, you must google it. I'm only here to provide this information b/c I have too much time in my hands. Yes, I know; I'm very immature, but I'm hope you're smart enough to tie your own shoes and determine which information is false (i.e. your balls and breast being mutilated).

Vy and I got OHLAP b/c we pwned every AP courses. And mainly, b/c I can bench press 345lbs in high school and pwned the AP Calculus exam with a five. OHLAP is pleased. HOOAH!

by benchmax345 August 25, 2008

Unpausable

This word can be use in place of unstoppable and continuous.

Time is unpausable...only to Chuck Norris.

by BenchMax345 February 29, 2008

Ball Eagle

A rare species of eagles. Ball eagles can appear suddenly at any given time. Ball Eagle exist to attack only men(not women). Ball eagle will purposely attack your balls if you're not careful. Ball Eagle can fly 1745% faster than the maximum speed of an original bald eagle. Ball eagles fly at full speed, without delay or hesitation, directly into your balls.

Josh and I was flying kites one day. Suddenly, a ball eagle flew straight into Josh's balls hence destroying his family jewels.

by BenchMax345 February 29, 2008

Mega Psycho Crusher

A brute attack that consist of the attacker flying in the air at 3.00*10^8 m/s. While flying, the person body will build of a deadly electricity(40 kilo amperes) and strike his/her opponent(s). This attack is unavoidable. Mega Psycho Crusher is a "one-hit kill." Mega Psycho Crusher is an equivalent of an output of 40 grams of Chucktanium energy. Mega Psycho Crusher is also an occupation that help provide funeral service hence bringing the dead body down to ashes.

Funeral Service Provider: I'm sorry for your loss.
Over Sensitive Chick (Crying): I wish he could live another 190 years; he's to young to die.
Funeral Service Provider: He served his time. We can not let his body freeze in the harsh blizzard any longer. Your soul will survive through this lonely winter...I promise.
Over Sensitive Chick (Crying): WTF, what are you intending to do? Tell Me! (So emotional)
Funeral Service Provider: Listen! he served his time; it's time to end your misery...MEGA PSYCHO CRUSHER!! (velocity increase; endothermic process "catapultulate."
Over Sensitive Chick (Crying and shouting): NOOOOOOO!
(BOOM!, the corpse is now reduce down into ashes)
Funeral Service Provider: RIP.
(Since Mega Psycho Crusher travel at the speed of light, The Over Sensitive Chick screaming sound can't travel as fast in comparison. Hence, the logic fits perfectly: When summon, Mega Psycho Crusher can't be stop, regardless.

by BenchMax345 February 24, 2008

Fuck You

Fuck You is how you say fuck you in America.

Paul: I bench more than you kid.
Kid: Fuck you!

by BenchMax345 March 3, 2008

catapultulating

This word can be used in place of skyrocketing, accelerating, increasing, launching,and, rising.

During the Great Depression, FDR created the New Deal to to provide relief for the unemployed (like your lazy ass mom)thus catapultulating the workforce. Good work FDR...RESPECT.

by BenchMax345 February 24, 2008

Bitch-tits McGee

A female who has the qualities of an irritatingly bothersome, baggy eyes, bitch slut, kinky, mid-life crisis, wannabe personality and appearance.

D Unit: Damn, Bitch-tits McGee is in the hiz-zouse!
G Unit: Shit, I ain't tutoring this bitch ass mother fucker.
D Unit: Let's ditch dis bitch-tits and ball out to Chile's.
G Unit: I concur! Keepin' real like a motherfucking gangsta beat.

by BenchMax345 February 29, 2008