36 definition by BenchMax345

Oklahoma Higher Learner Access Program (abbrev. OHLAP) is an Oklahoma's Promise scholarship granted for low income parents. Parents with an income of less than $50,000 a year and high school student(s) who worked their ass off earned it. There are specific high school courses that must be taken in order for OHLAP to be rewarded. OHLAP is one of the fastest growing scholarships in Oklahoma. OHLAP pays full tuition towards your college degree. This is a very godly/Chuck Norris scholarship that people take for granted. To date, over 30,000 students enrolled for OHLAP since its inception (source: my high school counselor). The higher your parent’s income, the better your ACT scores have to be in order to achieve…OHLAP (ACT score of a 30 right here BOOYAH! Flawlessly pwned). In order for the effects of this scholarship to remain beneficial, you must maintain a grade point average of an A> (3.60>.) and "promise" to stay away from trouble (i.e. drugs, alcohol, your mom). This scholarship can only be negated by successfully acquiring your bachelor degree or simply "student of failures." On the negative side of the spectrum, if you procrastinated your ass off and haven't procure your bachelor degree within the five years period, then OHLAP's powerful effects will eventually diminish; hence, your balls will be tragically suppress in a hectic manner (which in turn leads to death of purple balls). Absurdly, OHLAP has some dark secrets to deny its existence by your side (which will, in terms, give you a deadly purple nurple). For more history on OHLAP, you must google it. I'm only here to provide this information b/c I have too much time in my hands. Yes, I know; I'm very immature, but I'm hope you're smart enough to tie your own shoes and determine which information is false (i.e. your balls and breast being mutilated).
Vy and I got OHLAP b/c we pwned every AP courses. And mainly, b/c I can bench press 345lbs in high school and pwned the AP Calculus exam with a five. OHLAP is pleased. HOOAH!
by benchmax345 July 29, 2008

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A graffiti artwork that bleeds anger toward a person's eyes. An angraffiti usually express as a form of protest.
Hippies' angraffiti is futile against a conservative nation like the U.S.
by BenchMax345 February 29, 2008

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This word can be use in place of unstoppable and continuous.
Time is unpausable...only to Chuck Norris.
by BenchMax345 February 29, 2008

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Monster Mac Slammed is a fusion of three big macs together. By this process of fusion, you get a Monster Mac Slammed that is incredibly deadly. Putting three big macs together can be quite an experience. One may ask, "Can I just buy three big macs and eat them individually?" The answer is obviously yes; however, you will not get a Monster Mac Slammed experience. Monster Mac Slammed is equal to 1/4 of Chuck Norris round house kick. Except, in this case, this will be a deadly kick towards your heart.
Monster Mac Slammed is far too powerful for McDonald's to contain as a subset within the corporation.
by BenchMax345 March 05, 2009

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When a guy poses for the mirror and takes pictures of himself with a camera or his cellphone (typically with his cellphone). These guys normally take off their shirt and take a picture of themselves to attract higher level of queers. It is very commonly seen on myspace,facebook, and other social networking sites. Guys who faggot snapshot of themselves are known as queer baits.
I have a six pac and I want to show it off to all the ladies on my facebook. So I became shirtless and snapped some so-called "hot" pictures of myself in front of the mirror. The next day, I attracted a shitload of queers and all the girls lol'd at me.
by BenchMax345 February 24, 2010

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To form retarded logic with ignorance and "invisible" rational thoughts. The one who resemble this is Hillary Clinton. She was also the founder of retardationalism.
Bitch: 1+1=3
David: Why?
Bitch: Because the "+" counts as a one hence it must be added with the two.
David: Shut up dumb bitch! Quit being ignorationalation towards life.
by BenchMax345 March 16, 2008

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During the day, when you are bored, you look outside the windows from your house. You see nothing but fogs. You, all quietly by yourself, asked, "What is the meaning of life?" Therefore, you decided it is time to walk in the fog. You walked outside, but you can't perceive any physical object except the slow lingering fog. Being surrounded by the fog, you look up the sky in searching for the sun's effort in piercing through the dense fog. As you're looking up, you whispered, "What is the meaning of life." Slowly, you look back down and you see yourself standing in a beautiful place; something that is beyond your dream. The fogs will erase the horrid image of society and temporary place the beauty of your thoughts in reality hence giving you a feeling of "the good life."
5:00 AM: I wasn't able to sleep all night. It was foggy outside. I sat by myself reading philosophy books and peaking out my window after reading a page.

7:00 AM: I started sipping on bitter wine, solving mathematical proofs, and smoking from my hookah while still waiting for the fogs to lift.

8:00 AM: I took a stroll outside of my quiet neighborhood. I think to myself, "What is the meaning of life."

8:01 AM: The fogs viciously collapse. I shut my eyes and cower down the floor in my state of fear.

??:?? AM/PM: I standing in the center at a beautiful trance concert held at some night club. By inspection, the night club was somewhere around 400 feet up in the starry sky surrounded by other buildings. The sound of trance music was very pleasant to the ears. I was surrounded by people in anime costumes and raving outfits. They were so nice. Life has gotten better. I started dancing in the fog of life! I was so amazed at the surroundings that I failed realize I was wearing a Dark Magician costume. Immediately after the realization my Dark Magician costume, a girl in a Dark Magician Girl costume asked me to dance with her. We danced the night away. Suddenly, my dream vaporizes and…

2:35 PM: I found myself resting on the hospital bed with several tubes jacked into my lifeless body. They drug tested me. The doctor asked, "Are you on any drugs?" I replied directly, "THE FOG OF LIFE"
by BenchMax345 January 18, 2010

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