BenchMax345's definitions

Ben Assfleck

Synonym: Ben Affleck

Ben Affleck acted like Ben Assfleck in Daredevil lawl.

by BenchMax345 February 29, 2008

OHLAP

Oklahoma Higher Learner Access Program (abbrev. OHLAP) is an Oklahoma's Promise scholarship granted for low income parents. Parents with an income of less than $50,000 a year and high school student(s) who worked their ass off earned it. There are specific high school courses that must be taken in order for OHLAP to be rewarded. OHLAP is one of the fastest growing scholarships in Oklahoma. OHLAP pays full tuition towards your college degree. This is a very godly/Chuck Norris scholarship that people take for granted. To date, over 30,000 students enrolled for OHLAP since its inception (source: my high school counselor). The higher your parent’s income, the better your ACT scores have to be in order to achieve…OHLAP (ACT score of a 30 right here BOOYAH! Flawlessly pwned). In order for the effects of this scholarship to remain beneficial, you must maintain a grade point average of an A> (3.60>.) and "promise" to stay away from trouble (i.e. drugs, alcohol, your mom). This scholarship can only be negated by successfully acquiring your bachelor degree or simply "student of failures." On the negative side of the spectrum, if you procrastinated your ass off and haven't procure your bachelor degree within the five years period, then OHLAP's powerful effects will eventually diminish; hence, your balls will be tragically suppress in a hectic manner (which in turn leads to death of purple balls). Absurdly, OHLAP has some dark secrets to deny its existence by your side (which will, in terms, give you a deadly purple nurple). For more history on OHLAP, you must google it. I'm only here to provide this information b/c I have too much time in my hands. Yes, I know; I'm very immature, but I'm hope you're smart enough to tie your own shoes and determine which information is false (i.e. your balls and breast being mutilated).

Vy and I got OHLAP b/c we pwned every AP courses. And mainly, b/c I can bench press 345lbs in high school and pwned the AP Calculus exam with a five. OHLAP is pleased. HOOAH!

by benchmax345 August 25, 2008

angraffiti

A graffiti artwork that bleeds anger toward a person's eyes. An angraffiti usually express as a form of protest.

Hippies' angraffiti is futile against a conservative nation like the U.S.

by BenchMax345 February 29, 2008

emo-power bomb

First of all, an average emo person weigh approximately 155lbs. that's pretty skinny and light. In order to activate emo-power bomb, first, one must be able to hang clean 185lbs, vertically bench press(135lbs.) the person 2 feet from your shoulders, and slam his/her back on the floor as hard as possible. Although emo-power bomb can be powerful, it can also be negate by a fat wiggling emo kid. Yes, emo-power bomb is considered a hate crime. This action is also considered unconstitutional.

Dumb Jock: Dude, it's an emo kid. What are you doing sitting on our lunch table.
Emo kid: I'm writing sad poetry.
Dumb Jock: Go Go Gadget emo-power bomb!(Emo kid quickly elevated above the dumb jock's shoulders)
Emo kid: Nooooooooo! (SLLLAAMMM right through the lunch table)
Dumb Jock: You just got pwn.

by BenchMax345 February 29, 2008

Angle Lock

An submission move that forces a person to tap out. This procedure involve, firstly, smacking someone's face flat on the floor. Next, you reach for their foot(left or right), grab it, and twist the fuck out of it. This will cause a drastic pain in the ankle portion. Eventually, the person will either tap out or allow their ankle to be snap. It' America, Freedom of Choice: Tap Out or Snap. Angle Lock was a special move by Kurt Angle.

Vy tapped out due to an Angle Lock.

by BenchMax345 March 3, 2008

Bleeding Nightmare

An act of bleeding out all your hate, anger, fear, loneliness, jealously, confusion and other negative forms of energy. Bleeding Nightmare is accomplished during your sleep. After falling asleep, 100% of these negative forms of energy disperse and float in the darkness of your room. Your body will have a chance to partially recover from the tragedy of life. These floating evil energy will watch your body recover in the night. 2/5 of the negativity will be release from your body and never return. The moment you open your eyes, roughly 3/5 (floating in your room) of the remaining negative energy return back to your spiritual component. Hence, these evil energy will strike your heart to remind you that reality wants your absolute attention thus giving you no time to love. The universe is an irrational place because we human constantly polluting the universe with roughly 2/5 of our dark energy (daily). Dreaming is reality while "true" reality is a nightmare. The only way of bleeding out all your nightmare is to die in your sleep and never have to face reality ever again.

**At OSU-OKC**
David: I failed my Chemistry, Macroeconomic, Philosophy, and Spanish class. I'm going to sleep.
GDL: Why?
David: I'm going to cause a bleeding nightmare.
GDL: David, you are a successful failure. You work at five down stairs today by the way.
David: I'll bleed as much as possible.

by BenchMax345 February 20, 2008

Monster Mac Slammed

Monster Mac Slammed is a fusion of three big macs together. By this process of fusion, you get a Monster Mac Slammed that is incredibly deadly. Putting three big macs together can be quite an experience. One may ask, "Can I just buy three big macs and eat them individually?" The answer is obviously yes; however, you will not get a Monster Mac Slammed experience. Monster Mac Slammed is equal to 1/4 of Chuck Norris round house kick. Except, in this case, this will be a deadly kick towards your heart.

Monster Mac Slammed is far too powerful for McDonald's to contain as a subset within the corporation.

by BenchMax345 March 5, 2009