BeardedFatass's definitions

pointy-haired boss

Etymology: A character in Scott Adams' Dilbert comic strip

(n) a clueless boss, esp. one that has been over-promoted and uses a lot of meaningless corporate buzzwords

My pointy-haired boss just told me I need to make a paradigm of strategizing my primary action items, just because I forgot to use the new cover sheet on the TPS reports.

by BeardedFatass January 11, 2004

photo finish

(n) an urgent need to defecate, usually associated with diarrhea, in which the bowels begin to move before the victim has reached the shitter

As Bob raced down the hallway, he clenched his butt-cheeks together as tightly as he could to stave the impending explosion of fecal matter. This was definitely going to be a photo finish.

by BeardedFatass January 6, 2004

Dilbert

(n) 1. the main character in the comic strip of the same name, created by Scott Adams, depicting an empolyee who works in a cubicle for a clueless boss at a large company
2. any real-life office employee who embodies some characteristics of the Dilbert character
3. a loser

See also: Dilbertesque

The young Dilbert tried in vain to sell his boss on the new technology, but his boss told him to shut up and consider himself lucky he even HAS a Coleco.

by BeardedFatass January 9, 2004

squirt

(n) a quick act of urination

I gotta go take a squirt; then we can leave.

by BeardedFatass December 16, 2002

snail mail

Etymology: Scott Adams, creator of Dilbert
(n) conventional mail in which a letter or package is physically delivered by a postal service, esp. when the object mailed could have been sent electronically via email/e-mail and arrived at the destination instantly

Paranoid about "hackers" spying on him, my boss insists on sending all correspondence via snail mail, which means I can't use my spam filter to ignore him.

by BeardedFatass January 9, 2004

ch

(n) the fourth letter of the Spanish alphabet

Would someone please explain to me how ch is a letter?! It's TWO letters: c + h, which are BOTH already in the Spanish alphabet! How is ch its own letter?! (Don't even get me started on rr...)

by BeardedFatass January 20, 2004

Atkins Diet

(n) a lame excuse for obese pigs to claim they are on a "diet" while they gorge themselves with excessive amounts of fatty meat, cheese, butter, and lard

(aka Fatkins Diet)

I'm on the Atkins Diet. Yesterday, I ate a 12-egg omelette, 36 sausage links, a brick of Cheddar cheese, 2 jars of peanuts, 4 sticks of butter, a 32-ounce steak wrapped in bacon, a pork roast, and a can of Crisco for dessert. The only reason I gained 135 pounds was because I accidentally inhaled a crouton.

by BeardedFatass May 18, 2004