Atkins Diet

(n) a lame excuse for obese pigs to claim they are on a "diet" while they gorge themselves with excessive amounts of fatty meat, cheese, butter, and lard

(aka Fatkins Diet)

I'm on the Atkins Diet. Yesterday, I ate a 12-egg omelette, 36 sausage links, a brick of Cheddar cheese, 2 jars of peanuts, 4 sticks of butter, a 32-ounce steak wrapped in bacon, a pork roast, and a can of Crisco for dessert. The only reason I gained 135 pounds was because I accidentally inhaled a crouton.

by BeardedFatass May 18, 2004

snail mail

Etymology: Scott Adams, creator of Dilbert
(n) conventional mail in which a letter or package is physically delivered by a postal service, esp. when the object mailed could have been sent electronically via email/e-mail and arrived at the destination instantly

Paranoid about "hackers" spying on him, my boss insists on sending all correspondence via snail mail, which means I can't use my spam filter to ignore him.

by BeardedFatass January 09, 2004

ch

(n) the fourth letter of the Spanish alphabet

Would someone please explain to me how ch is a letter?! It's TWO letters: c + h, which are BOTH already in the Spanish alphabet! How is ch its own letter?! (Don't even get me started on rr...)

by BeardedFatass January 20, 2004

froot

(n) brightly-colored chemical sweetners used to simulate fruit but legally forbidden by the FDA to be labeled as such

(adj) flavored with froot

Without looking, it's easier to guess the color of an M&M than the color of a Froot Loop.

by BeardedFatass April 05, 2004

photo finish

(n) an urgent need to defecate, usually associated with diarrhea, in which the bowels begin to move before the victim has reached the shitter

As Bob raced down the hallway, he clenched his butt-cheeks together as tightly as he could to stave the impending explosion of fecal matter. This was definitely going to be a photo finish.

by BeardedFatass January 06, 2004

chenderson

(n) the foreskin of an uncircumsized penis

After awakening naked in a dumpster outside the frat house, Craig was very disturbed to discover remnants of toe fungus inside his chenderson.

by BeardedFatass January 06, 2004

McFart

(n) a very lethal expulsion of gas through the anus, characterized by being extremely warm and quiet, and is often used to strip paint

(v) {-ed,-ing} to let a McFart

McDonald's makes me McFart.

by BeardedFatass January 20, 2004