BeardedFatass's definitions

photo finish

(n) an urgent need to defecate, usually associated with diarrhea, in which the bowels begin to move before the victim has reached the shitter

As Bob raced down the hallway, he clenched his butt-cheeks together as tightly as he could to stave the impending explosion of fecal matter. This was definitely going to be a photo finish.

by BeardedFatass January 6, 2004

Atkins Diet

(n) a lame excuse for obese pigs to claim they are on a "diet" while they gorge themselves with excessive amounts of fatty meat, cheese, butter, and lard

(aka Fatkins Diet)

I'm on the Atkins Diet. Yesterday, I ate a 12-egg omelette, 36 sausage links, a brick of Cheddar cheese, 2 jars of peanuts, 4 sticks of butter, a 32-ounce steak wrapped in bacon, a pork roast, and a can of Crisco for dessert. The only reason I gained 135 pounds was because I accidentally inhaled a crouton.

by BeardedFatass May 18, 2004

olde

(adj) old, used to ascribe an artificial nostalgic value to crap that nobody would otherwise consider purchasing

The Old Junk Shop almost went out of business until they changed their name to Ye Olde Antique Shoppe.

by BeardedFatass January 8, 2004

Google bomb

1. (n) a collaboration of web pages which use a common phrase in the names of hyperlinks to the same address for the explicit purpose of making that address appear at the top of the list when that phrase is typed into a Google search engine. (This phenomenon is unique to Google since most other search engines don't include text from hyperlinks in their databases.)

2. (v) (-ed,-ing) to conspire with other web page authors to create a Google bomb by agreeing on the search phrase and victim site

The most famous Google bomb can be triggered by searching for "miserable failure". As of 1/8/04, the White House biography of George W. Bush is still at top of the list. Some counterstrikes have been made on Jimmy Carter's bio and Michael Moore's website, which now appear second and third respectively.

by BeardedFatass January 7, 2004

tuna salad

(n) 1. an orgy
2. sexual intercourse with multiple female partners

Synonym: chicken salad (Jessica Simpson only)

A tuna salad is a great way to liven up your next company picnic.

by BeardedFatass January 12, 2004

Baltimoron

(n) a resident of Baltimore, esp. one who puts Old Bay in his coffee

Related word: Baltimoronic (adj)

At Orioles games, Baltimorons always like to desecrate the National Anthem by screaming "O!" in the middle of it.

by BeardedFatass January 6, 2004

KFC

Kentucky Fried Colonel

Now you know KFC's original recipe.

by BeardedFatass May 17, 2004