BeardedFatass's definitions

photo finish

(n) an urgent need to defecate, usually associated with diarrhea, in which the bowels begin to move before the victim has reached the shitter

As Bob raced down the hallway, he clenched his butt-cheeks together as tightly as he could to stave the impending explosion of fecal matter. This was definitely going to be a photo finish.

by BeardedFatass January 6, 2004

squirt

(n) a quick act of urination

I gotta go take a squirt; then we can leave.

by BeardedFatass December 16, 2002

vagine

(v) to bleed from the vagina
Inflected forms: vagined, vagining

Aw, man! Josh Babcock vagined all over my sofa!

by BeardedFatass December 11, 2002

96

(n) a position where two people lie alongside each other facing opposite directions with their heads resting comfortably between their partner's butt cheeks

After performing 69, many sexual partners like to turn their backs and relax in a comfy 96, but this is ill-advised after eating Mexican food. The results may be grimm.

by BeardedFatass December 11, 2002

MC Hammer

(n) an Oakland rapper from the early 1990s named Stanley Kirk Burrell who liked to wear parachute pants while performing his MANY hits:
1. U Can't Touch This (1990, #8)
2. Have You Seen Her (1990, #4)
3. Pray (1990, #2)
4. 2 Legit 2 Quit (1992, #5)
5. Addams Groove (1992, #7)
6. Pumps and a Bump (1994, #26)

I have to take issue with the unfair characterization of M.C. Hammer as a one-hit wonder: he may be bankrupt and washed-up, but give the man credit for his multiple hits! Hasn't he suffered enough, going through life as a black man named Stanley?

by BeardedFatass May 15, 2004

weapon of ass destruction

(n) a dirty bomb

I heard Bush now wants to look for weapons of ass destruction on Uranus.

by BeardedFatass February 3, 2004

one hit blunder

(n) a specific type of one hit wonder in which the artist's one and only hit defies all logic and reason

"The Heights" is one of the best examples of a one hit blunder: they are a fake band that performed the bland, generic theme to their low-rated TV show that was cancelled after less than half a season. Despite all this, "How Do You Talk To An Angel" actually spent TWO weeks at #1 in 1992. Wouldn't people have at least tuned in to the show to hear that fantastic theme?!

by BeardedFatass January 7, 2004